So, when people post about being shunned by their friends, I've heard several posters say things like, "Their friendship is conditional. Real friendships aren't conditional."
I'm sorry, but that just isn't really true.
If you and I were friends, there are conditions. For instance: don't sleep with my wife, don't insult my kids, don't abuse my hospitality.
"But Cappy, anyone who would do those things isn't being a real friend!"
Sorry, but until someone does those things, you would continue to view them as a friend.
I know of one woman who was extremely close with another. They were so close, they frequently said things that showed they considered each other family. Both women did things together every day. They even went on vacation with each other's families. They were friends for YEARS. One year, one of the women, ended up sleeping with her friends husband and proceeded to have an ongoing affair with that husband for several months. Needless to say, when it was found out, that friendship ended.
But, how was the innocent woman to know that this woman wasn't a true friend until this occurred? She couldn't.
So, in my opinion, the notion of friendship being unconditional is just a utopian fantasy. There are always conditions. Some of mine are listed above. JW's just have a slightly longer list.