Posts by LouBelle

26

So, you left the Watchtower.................but.........did it leave you?

by Terry in

if you grow up speaking english and you move to mexico you don't automatically speak spanish, know customs, understand currency, possess skills.

for self-support or have any special insight into latino mindset.. .

why would you expect leaving jehovah's witnesses would leave you any less ill-equipped to navigate the real world?.

LouBelle

1. Initially there were certain words that would trigger an automatic JW response. Now that I have been out for so long - there is still the rememberance of the word/phrases but my reaction is different.

2. Fortunately I had such a thirst to find out TTATT that I pretty much gobbled up any book that I could find. I was reading up to a book a day on a variety of religions, their similaries, the origins, evolution, you name it. Again in the beginning theories were met with an automatic response but as I learnt and read more, my viewpoint, my arguements changed.

3. Spirituality - I used to know it all (or so I thought) as a JW - the more I learn, the more I realise how little I know. I don't have to have all the answers. I'm open to discussion, to debate. My source is me.

4. I tried going to a church after leaving the JWs - it just didn't work - that mass mentality was there too - question but only to a certain degree. I knew I would never belong to a group again and I'm so at peace about that. What it does, is give me the opportunity to go and experience a buddhist retreat and enjoy it for what it is - meditaion and discipline, go to a happy clappy church and clap away - but there is absolutey no need to go and belong to them. I don't fit. My beliefs don't fit and I'm good with that.

5. I hang out with a huge variety of people, some are positive, some are negative, we are friends and we are there for each other. I listen to watch each one has to say on whatever we are discussing, use my own reasoning and take it from there.

6. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong. I don't worry about knowing or not knowing the answers anymore. I'm quite happy and content not having an automatic response....but in the feeling department - oh I feel. I have a huge compassion for people - and will help, will lend an ear, will support, listen - even if I don't have all the answers - what I offer can be soothing.

7. There is no black and white. There is a whole grey section along with a rainbow of colour. I don't understand everything, I doubt I ever will and again I'm okay with that. I don't need to have all the answers anymore. I'll look and do research.

8. Lately - man, it's been sucky, I'm not going to lie. Many times I just want to vegetate and be left with my dark thoughts. However I have got help now and yesturday hit some balls (golf), had 2 brilliant shots (for me that means air AND distance), went out to breakfast and then movies with my brother and cooked my family a roast chicken meal - it was a good day!!! I actually need to get out more and do more exercise. I would love to get out into nature and the bush more - I am happiest there.

9 & 10 - I love reading - LOVE it. I read a huge variety of books from the non-fiction geological / scientific stuff to Sci-fi (as long as it can hold my interest)

For the most part I have had a great life since I left the faith. I embrace all that I can. Of late, there have been some downers, but I know it is up to me to sort that out and to get help and not rely on a god or conditional friends.

24

This is so difficult

by dissonance_resolved in

jw
friends

so i woke up a few months ago and had no idea what to expect.

at first i was outraged that i had been lied to all these years and so sad that i lost so many years of my life to a cult.

in the past couple of weeks though, i've actually been having second thoughts.

LouBelle

Hi Dissonance_Resolved: This is not an easy decision. If you do go through with it you have to accept the consequinces and if your freedom and happiness are worth it. As St.Anne said - in the beginning it does hurt. I have family in that I haven't spoken to for close on 8 years - they are strangers to me now - I have seen them in the shops and they have seen me, there is nothing there anymore. Sad, but true.

You have to weigh up the pros and cons. Can you continue in the religion and fake it? or perhaps just miss a meeting here and there, and then a little bit more often. You have to do what is best for you.

Strength to you.

39

Off to the Doctor.

by LouBelle in

jw
friends

in a couple of hours i'm going to the doctor - an intervention.

i don't want to be a burdon to my mother, she has her own life to lead with her own responsibilities.

i've always been able to take care of everything for myself.

LouBelle

Thanks everyone. I have been told that it will take 2 -3 weeks before I will that lift. That's why the doctor also prescribed tranquilisers - to take the edge off. I never thought I would be taking medication like this - ever. I've always been so strong - from a little girl.

I know that the past 2 years have been extremely trying, and would be for anyone. I just kept getting closer and closer to that edge. Last week I was ready to jump - really I was. I even told the doctor that I was actually going to see her to get the sleeping pills and build up stock and use them. So I guess there was still a part of me that wanted to live.

I've been very relaxed these past couple of days. The tranquilisers do knock me a bit and make me VERY chilled. I had 9 hours sleep friday night, woke up on saturday, had breakfast, chatted with my family till about 11 am and I just couldn't keep my eyes open - slept til 4pm. Perhaps my body and mind just needed that break.

I'm yawning much better at work, but hey, I feel relaxed, so that is what is important.

25

Men...what do you look for in a woman?

by LouBelle in

jw
friends

so we had the woman version.

let it rip guys - what type of woman makes you just want to get her know her better - the one that makes you take that risk and walk on over to start a conversation?.

LouBelle

HarryMac I agree. Once I get to know someone, they definitely are more attractive. I met guys that have been good looking and I'm like 'wow' and then after watching them, talking to them....dickheads (not all of course)

69

What would it take for YOU to come back?

by noonehome in

jw
friends

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LouBelle

There is absolutely nothing they could offer me that would make me go back - nothing.

25

Men...what do you look for in a woman?

by LouBelle in

jw
friends

so we had the woman version.

let it rip guys - what type of woman makes you just want to get her know her better - the one that makes you take that risk and walk on over to start a conversation?.

LouBelle

So we had the woman version. Let it rip guys - what type of woman makes you just want to get her know her better - the one that makes you take that risk and walk on over to start a conversation?

51

HI! im new here...

by outofthelionsden in

i have been reading post on this forum for many months and i wanted to thank you all for all the great posts and comments that have really helped me get through this hard year of fading.

my husband and i where born in jdubs and almost 1 year ago we started to fade , now that we think about it has been a few years that we were suffering from cognitive dissonance without knowing it.

we feel that finally we have our life back , a life that is just starting.

LouBelle

A very warm welcome OutOfTheLionsDen - apologies for my delay in welcoming you to the board. Shunning is un-natural. I'm fortuante in that over time I got very used to it and those (including family) have become as strangers to me. It is sad but true.

I hope that you will continue to embrace life and all it has to offer. Be strong and rely on each other.

16

The Story of Joe

by dozy in

jw
friends

when i was a young pioneer , over the years i had built up a route call and every wednesday afternoon myself and a couple of the other pioneers would walk ( or if adverse weather , drive ) around the streets of our town and the surrounding villages distributing the magazines.

most houses were empty , which didnt really matter - it was a pleasant diversion from what was generally quite a harsh unfruitful territory to work.

we would talk about the things young ones talk about girls , football , tv and , er , girls chewing the fat over the latest gossip.. in our congregation , joe , a retired brother in his 70s lived with his non-jw worldly ( but very pleasant and hospitable ) wife , jean.

LouBelle

Thank you for sharing Joe with us.

41

The most IMPORTANT christian topic you will ever need to understand! GARBAGE IN=GARBAGE OUT

by Terry in

the bible is the basis for christianity.. interpretation of scripture is the hallmark of doctrine.. jehovah's witnesses base their claim of true religion on their interpretations of scripture.. .

what follows is the foundation of all belief and all refutation of false belief.. if you don't understand this topic you will be on the losing end of every christian argument about truth.. .

the basis of christian belief in the bible was accidentally destroyed....a long time ago.. it was corrupted by the finest men who ever lived...but..it was wholly unintentional!.

LouBelle

The same can be said for health. if you put garbage in your body, you are only going to get fat, or have aches and pains or halatosis or something that you shouldn't. S I M P L I F I E D

63

marrying younger spouses

by ssn587 in

jw
friends

my wife passed away 2 years ago we had been married over 30 years, i have since remarried and my new wife is younger than 3 of my children from my first marriage.

i just wondering if there are any more like me out there.

i stay in excellent shape for my age, work out almost daily eat good and have absolutely no medical problems or at least none i can do anything about, bad knees, but my vitals are excellent, and i am known as the teenage because of them when i have my yearly medical checkup.. so was wondering if there are others out there like me, and what some may think about it, just for the record i am extremely happy once again, and we have a 18 month boy who delights me, have a whole new outlook on fatherhood and child raising.

LouBelle

I think I would put a cap on 20 years older than me. I'm 37 right now. I am a wise 37 year old, so if he's 57 - that is fine by me.