So, you left the Watchtower.................but.........did it leave you?

by Terry 26 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • Terry
    Terry

    If you grow up speaking English and you move to Mexico you don't automatically speak Spanish, know customs, understand currency, possess skills

    for self-support or have any special insight into Latino mindset.

    Why would you expect leaving Jehovah's Witnesses would leave you any less ill-equipped to navigate the real world?

    What you KNOW......in fact.....ALL you know is tied up in layers and layers of self-referenced DOGMA, DOCTRINE and THINKING.

    Jehovah's Witness BIAS against ordinary people is still embedded.

    The day before you walked out of the Kingdom Hall those outside world people were the enemies of God.

    The day after what has changed? Nothing. Now you expect to see them as equals and be comfortable about it? Less likely than you think.

    Your emotional reaction to the world around you is strongly motivated by the core values you possess.

    Your core values may well have been distorted and corrupted into a false deconstruction by JW Doctrines.

    Guess what? That is ALL YOU HAVE TO GO ON!

    Your sense of everyday values are warped when you become a JW.

    Ideas have been tainted which are foundations for thinking!

    What is your idea of Good? Bad? Justice?

    How do you feel about Education? Authority? Government?

    What about your ability to reason from a premise to a conclusion? What NOW guides it? The same scriptural world of Absolutes?

    Is everything a matter of Interpretation by some NEW AUTHORITY? Or, are you suddenly gifted with an amazing ability to THINK for YOURSELF?

    If so, How?

    You might well think of yourself as a Stranger in a Strange Land or a newborn for all your expertise and ability to proceed with everyday life.

    What are you to do?

    Here are a few useful suggestions you may want to think about, explore and "try on" like a pair of store bought pants before purchase.

    1.Examine your vocabulary. Take words that represent VALUES and define them in your own words. Then--examine your definition. Is the source Jehovah's Witness doctrine? Or, is it what any ordinary person would say?

    2.Examine your opinion of the bible. Have you ever read anything other than JW books about scripture? Have you tried mainstream scholarly texts? Or, popular books by Bart Ehrman? Have you read the "other" religious views with other than a slanted starting opinion?

    3.When you talk about religion or spirituality---is it founded upon a questioning thirst for explanation---or a superior idea that you already know something? What is your source authority?

    4.Do you find strength in being an individual or do you crave a union, fellowship, group or cause greater than yourself? What if you flew solo for a year before jumping into one of those groups?

    5.Do you hang out with Positive people or Negative? Complainers, conspiracy theorists, political junkies, ideologues are KINDRED SPIRITS of controlling religions like Jehovah's Witnesses. It may feel strangely "comfortable" to keep company with fringe thinkers. Avoid the urge!!

    6.How do you actually FEEL? Do you feel at all? Or, is there a vague sense of doom floating around you because you once KNEW EVERYTHING and it was ALL TRUE? Absolute thinking is a drug. Just like any street drug. You will have withdrawl. Expect it.

    7. Do you get plenty of fresh air and exercise? Take walks? Ride a bicycle? Join a gym? Exercise takes you OUTSIDE your own dark thoughts and jumpstarts your health. You will gain energy to move on and move forward.

    8.Do you feel like unless you understand everything---you understand nothing? Avoid Black and White choices. Explore the middle ground in most things. Allow moderation into your life. Relax and give yourself permission to simply ask questions and be ignorant for awhile.

    9.Read REAL books by genuine authors and not fringe, wacky, highly opinionated promoters of this or that. Read about history, Math, Science, Logic, Finance. All these things WERE DENIED YOU as a JW. You may be harboring crazy notions of how the Universe really operates.

    10. Read Science magazines. Read the Skeptical Inquirer. Listen to Podcasts on Skeptical thinking. Learn HOW to question and explore.

    Don't jump from the frying pan of Jehovah's Witnesses into the fire of yet another myth. Take a deep breath. Declare a TIME OUT.

    Think, doubt, ask, test. There is no hurry to jump to an absolute CONCLUSION.
  • whathappened
    whathappened

    Thanks again, Terry. What would we do without you? This is just what I have been thinking about lately.

  • Terry
    Terry

    Transition is difficult.

    Have you ever tried to transplant a tree from one part of your yard to another?

    All those roots!!

  • Nika Bee
    Nika Bee

    Inside: tossed around, do more, don't stop and think, just listen, did you do enough, there is no time, did you underline, go on, it's dangerous out there, don't even think about it, here take this insted, do more, repeat, ... too much noise to use your brain.

    Then the awakening, everything black, no orientation. Confused.I don't hear anything anymore, but I can see now, I can observe.

    Just stand back awhile. Some time off. Find a place to stand and just observe and see what comes, how it turns out.

    Start exploring your ideas, your values, your thinking abilities. There is no rush. New roots develope - slowly.

    Just my own experience.

  • sizemik
    sizemik
    5.Do you hang out with Positive people or Negative? Complainers, conspiracy theorists, political junkies, ideologues are KINDRED SPIRITS of controlling religions like Jehovah's Witnesses. It may feel strangely "comfortable" to keep company with fringe thinkers. Avoid the urge!!

    Sounds like a description of an ex-JW internet forum. I take it the encouragement includes avoiding this place.

  • Greybeard
    Greybeard

    Good stuff Terry,

    I have been trying to take a time out. Life is VERY different. What you said here is so true.

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    1. Initially there were certain words that would trigger an automatic JW response. Now that I have been out for so long - there is still the rememberance of the word/phrases but my reaction is different.

    2. Fortunately I had such a thirst to find out TTATT that I pretty much gobbled up any book that I could find. I was reading up to a book a day on a variety of religions, their similaries, the origins, evolution, you name it. Again in the beginning theories were met with an automatic response but as I learnt and read more, my viewpoint, my arguements changed.

    3. Spirituality - I used to know it all (or so I thought) as a JW - the more I learn, the more I realise how little I know. I don't have to have all the answers. I'm open to discussion, to debate. My source is me.

    4. I tried going to a church after leaving the JWs - it just didn't work - that mass mentality was there too - question but only to a certain degree. I knew I would never belong to a group again and I'm so at peace about that. What it does, is give me the opportunity to go and experience a buddhist retreat and enjoy it for what it is - meditaion and discipline, go to a happy clappy church and clap away - but there is absolutey no need to go and belong to them. I don't fit. My beliefs don't fit and I'm good with that.

    5. I hang out with a huge variety of people, some are positive, some are negative, we are friends and we are there for each other. I listen to watch each one has to say on whatever we are discussing, use my own reasoning and take it from there.

    6. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong. I don't worry about knowing or not knowing the answers anymore. I'm quite happy and content not having an automatic response....but in the feeling department - oh I feel. I have a huge compassion for people - and will help, will lend an ear, will support, listen - even if I don't have all the answers - what I offer can be soothing.

    7. There is no black and white. There is a whole grey section along with a rainbow of colour. I don't understand everything, I doubt I ever will and again I'm okay with that. I don't need to have all the answers anymore. I'll look and do research.

    8. Lately - man, it's been sucky, I'm not going to lie. Many times I just want to vegetate and be left with my dark thoughts. However I have got help now and yesturday hit some balls (golf), had 2 brilliant shots (for me that means air AND distance), went out to breakfast and then movies with my brother and cooked my family a roast chicken meal - it was a good day!!! I actually need to get out more and do more exercise. I would love to get out into nature and the bush more - I am happiest there.

    9 & 10 - I love reading - LOVE it. I read a huge variety of books from the non-fiction geological / scientific stuff to Sci-fi (as long as it can hold my interest)

    For the most part I have had a great life since I left the faith. I embrace all that I can. Of late, there have been some downers, but I know it is up to me to sort that out and to get help and not rely on a god or conditional friends.

  • Watkins
    Watkins

    It's a much more difficult transition if one is born into the cult, I've found. Having had a 'normal' view of things before the indoctrination helped me on my exit. I never thought of 'worldly people' the way wt teaches, so I was ahead of the un-learning curve a bit. But ridding myself of the 'unique' doctrines still took about 3 months. I threw out everything but my faith in God, which I had before contact with jws. But I did investigate that as well.

    Being born into the cult, as many here confess, is the hardest row to hoe because they've never known anything else and it's their whole 'truth'. Born in or not, it's mind-warping to realize how thoroughly we'd been duped. The mind and ego take time to mend... and it can't be rushed. The 7 steps of mourning/loss apply.

    watkins

  • designs
    designs

    As JWs we were taught to hate certain things about this world like Religion and to mostly write off any attempt to make this world a better place. I refuse to carry forward into this new life experience the Blase' attitudes about life and this world from my past life. We should be engaged in the great issues that affect humanity and the environment we all share.

    'The earth is what we all share in common' W Berry

  • Terry
    Terry

    You know what reformed Alcoholics say to themselves?

    ONE DAY at a time.........

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