feeling lost today.. it's the weekend, and i will be once again going home to an empty house, where my children won't be welcoming me home.
i haven't seen or talked to them in a very long time.
i won't be able to kiss their sweet faces, or hold them close to me, so i can tell them i love them.
After reading Corvin's comments I was thinking of my nephews. The boys grew up and later left the Org themselves--one of the things they just recently told me was that they didn't like the way everyone talked about their Dad because he was Dfd it always made them uncomfortable--they saw through it all after awhile and have a relationship with him now. So there is hope...don't let them take that away from you.
your friend,
cybs
codeblue's thread about the teenage years made me start thinking about another aspect of being raised jw.
in the org we had ready made "friends" by virtue of our affiliation.
i found that after leaving jw's it was hard to meet people and it took me a long time to make friends.
I realized that most of the people at the KH were merely acquaintances. The test was how many kept in touch with you when you changed to a congregation in the same town.
Blondie this is so true. When a former congo I was in split I hardly ever saw the people from the other congo even though we had been together over 10 years and lived in the same small town. We never called nor did we hardly ever visit or see each other personally except at an event such as a wedding. ( I personally didn't even have the desire to keep in touch with these people, which seems strange to me now) When I moved out of that town after several years I hardley ever heard from any of those JWs again--even though we had know each other for years only a few kept in touch sporatically. But I still hear from old non-JW friends even in far away places--we never lose touch--some have kept in touch for years no matter how far apart we are --they even stuck with me through my JW daze (Now those are some true friends for you.) From what I experienced friendships in the Org were lacking in some way, maybe because of the fact that we were all so personally restricted in our speech and actions--which I feel resulted in poor and meaningless communication, which is not the kind of thing true friendships are based upon.
your friend,
cybs
codeblue's thread about the teenage years made me start thinking about another aspect of being raised jw.
in the org we had ready made "friends" by virtue of our affiliation.
i found that after leaving jw's it was hard to meet people and it took me a long time to make friends.
just be friendly and make conversation with people--eventually you will find some people you just click with and some you don't. Making friends is almost intuative. sometimes you just meet people and you have an instant connection with them--seems like you have known them for years. i think the connection with people goes much deeper than what appears on the outside. good friends can just hang out together and enjoy each others company sometimes without even talking--just being there and enjoying the day together and sharing observations of life. Don't force it--just relax and let it happen.
your friend, cybs
feeling lost today.. it's the weekend, and i will be once again going home to an empty house, where my children won't be welcoming me home.
i haven't seen or talked to them in a very long time.
i won't be able to kiss their sweet faces, or hold them close to me, so i can tell them i love them.
Sorry, I had to respond too. I know we are all floating out here in cyber-space, but we are here connecting with your feelings right now. It is unfair--that is all I can say. Please remember that your daughters may need you one day and you have to be there for them when they do. Until then we all have to mend ourselves the best we can. Take care of yourself.
Love,
cybs
some feel that you should put out a history of who you are, what your life was and is like now and express it in a very simple way so that everyone can "know" you.
we've had posters say they were elders, elder's sisters, hurt jws, etc.
it could all be a little fantasy.
Well actually I am more wonderful in person! but I think I pour a lot out of my thought and feelings out here while still protecting my identity from any WT spies...
PS I just noticed I just eached 300 posts--and in 2 months now that's a lot of revealing
lets face it, there are many posts and replies about nonsensical bullshit that has nothing to do with the jw's.
what purpose does it serve?
do you do it to irritate other board members or just to get a reaction?
hey scumrat--great name--suits you well on this post. I think people come here for a lot of reasons--mostly to heal by validating their experiences to others, letting off steam, seeking comfort and love, and sometimes just joking around for a little comic relief. I think it has saved some lives and that makes it all worth while....A pissing post? Not hardly.
that a very good friend of mine is an xjw.
wow!
what a trip.
That is exciting. I keep hoping that one day I run into someone I knew or one of my good friends in the Org up and leaves it behind--would be nice...
for good....... just say...... all contacts on here would be shut off, you would have no way of contacting anyone on here that you may have done before or do now, you would be left as you stand now, still with your family and friends, work colleagues in whatever capacity you enjoy them in real life, but without those you now know onscreen through this forum.
would you be able to pick your life back up and carry on.
i don't ask this lightly, i just wonder after reading a few posts recently in the last couple of years just how seriously some hold this forum almost to the point that it seems central to their lives (and that maybe so).. how would you feel?.
i would feel sad to lose touch with the people here.
if you went to an assembly as one of the bad people who carry apostate signs, what would your sign say?.
pretend you had a bag on your head, and nobody would ever recognize you.... i think mine would say, .
"young people ask... very carefully, so as not to arouse suspicion that they might be apostate"
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/11/68587/1.ashx
I just recently wrote one like this--thought everyone came up with some really great ideas...
i was a jw from 1956 to 1976.
1976 makes a point, doesn't it?
1975 precedes 1976.
Welcome weasel
I served a 20 year sentence as one of JWs. Just recently escaped...still suffering some, but it's getting better. Lots of great support here--a good place for working past some of the pain. some great minds here--also some wild and crazy folk, but it is nice to have a few laughs in the process.
see you around,
cybs
