Posts by anewlife

42

How Much is Shunning Worth?

by Xena in

jw
friends

my jw niece called me last night on the phone.

she is having a pampered chef party (for those of you who don't know what these are, it's like a tupperware party except they cook a meal and sell the cooking stuff).

it is going to be at my jw sister's house and all the dubs will be there....including my "best" friend who ratted me out to my sister regarding us celebrating christmas last year.. i am not invited....but my niece would like me to buy some stuff and to make up for shunning me she is offering to give me her hostess discount....woohoo huh?.

anewlife

Xena: Do you really feel this is a satisfactory way to "justify" shunning? These people are absolutely pathetic as someone else said....and materialistic as Farkel said.

I experienced the same thing...Pampered Chef too. A young sister (20) who I had always gotten along with ran into my son and got my phone number from him. She called and I was very happy to hear from her, knowing I was DF'd and she called anyway. She told me she was selling Pampered Chef and if I bought something that would give her an "excuse" to come over and see me when she had to deliver it. I was game...sounded like a nice way to get back in touch. The order (a nice size btw) came in. I received a message on my home answering machine from the girl's mother that my order was in. I called back only to get her machine. Anyway to make a long story short the girl NEVER contacted me again....her mother put my order out on her front porch so I could "pick it up" as "they weren't going to be home!" Needless to say, I felt used and was pissed. (Then to top it off, the damn thing broke after only using it about 6-7 times!) The good thing....I learn my lessons quickly and never again have I "fallen" for such crap!

In my opinion, no discount is worth it! The discount is only a way for her to feel better about herself...not you. You will then become a victim again of the WTBTS if you accept....that's just how I feel!

anewlife/Cheryl

24

Can someone explain this to me?

by Tinkerbell4125 in

jw
friends

sister got married back in the summer.

she had a small wedding and they only invited their families.

this is what i don't understand.

anewlife

Tinkerbell: I feel for you and understand you completely!!

I have a very similar situation. My aunt "walked away" years ago, met a man, moved him in with her, (she finally married him a few years ago), now celebrates all the holidays in a big way and YET when the family gets together, she is always invited and treated just the same. Then there's my sister....a MAJOR fence rider! (Don't get me wrong, I love her to pieces, I just have no patience for hypocrisy.) She RARELY attends meetings, dates worldly men, even steals from Wal-Mart, swears, celebrated Christmas with me last year and birthdays and yet because she is a fence rider and "kisses the asses" of those who bend over, nothing is said or done and she continues to be accepted by the family as part of the family. I myself am DF'd and am shunned to the ultimate extreme! What really infuriates me to know end sometimes is KNOWING all this stuff my sister does and I don't even come close to doing anything of the sort! Yet I say nothing to no one because I love my sister and really don't want her to feel the "shunning" that I do because it's HORRIBLE!

What an absolutely screwed up organization!....and ever so glad to be completely OUT!!!!!

anewlife/Cheryl

39

I'm just curious.........

by WildHorses in

jw
friends

i want to get an idea of how many people have left the org in the past five years.

which of the following years did you leave?.

1998 i left.

anewlife

This is most interesting...

May 8, 2000 DF'd, but was there for the announcement and every meeting for 6 weeks after and then finally said, "Enough is enough....I'm outta here!"

26

JWs at Hearst Castle

by concerned mama in

jw
friends

my family and i just got home from our summer road trip.

we drove 6815 km from our home in alberta down the western coast of the us to disneyland, then back home through utah (mormon country), idaho and montana.

great trip!!!!

anewlife

Wow! I was just there at Hearst's Castle in July with my boyfriend and believe me I would have noticed them if they'd have been there that day!

I left the Borg two years ago and for the previous two years or so this was how the "preaching work" was being "set up." In fact, (confession time....) I even planted myself in front of a Walmart with literature with another sister and all we had to do was let the people going in and out of the store come up to us....we were not to approach them. Frankly, it was "easy time" and I prefered it whenever I got to do it (It became one of those things where pretty much the "priviledged and favored" in the congregation got to do it more than the rest of the mere publishers! Figures!). Anyway, it was set up by one brother in charge and done all day long in two hour shifts. The last shift was from 8 p.m to 10 p.m....can you imagine? Well they're still sitting out in front of that particular Walmart here in my town....obviously I choose to shop elsewhere!

Cheryl/anewlife

30

MS Rat,My Dad , Elder and Betrayal

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

most of you know about the story of the ms who ratted on wildturkey and me for smoking at the club, he smoked one of my cigs and was there with his girlfriend (he is married).

well, i ran into him last night at the club and confronted him,, i asked him why he told on us, i just wanted to know, he said he didnt know why, he just felt pressured..i asked if he told on himself he said no!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wanted to slap him right there.

anewlife

Lying: I understand your pain completely!!! I had a similar situation happen to me.

I had been "reproved", but was "trying to do the right thing" according to the WTBTS (but was having some difficulties and doubts). My mother's sister (my aunt) came into town and we spent a little time together. In our "chatting," some of my frustrations and feelings, apparently, came across pretty loud to her. I was VERY careful in what I DID disclose, however. Well, needless to say, she ran (I believe literally!) back to my parents house where my grandmother, my sister and her MS husband happened to be visiting. My aunt then tells them that I "was seeing someone." I NEVER SAID THIS, NEVER ALLUDED TO ANY SUCH THING! This was just her "interpretation" as I was grumbling about my husband, whom I had already filed for divorce from. NOT 10 MINUTES LATER, my MS brother-in-law (whom I dearly loved, btw) immediately gets on the phone and calls one of the elders who met with me for my "reproving" and tells him I'm "doing things." I was so incredibly hurt, and pissed off that my brother-in-law didn't at least come to me first to "get the real scoop" as it were, that the next day I called this elder myself and went over to see him and told him, "I'm done!" I will say anything you want me to say, do anything you want me to do...I just want out! Disfellowship me!" Admittedly now I wish I would have just lied and walked away. (I have always had a tendency to "punish myself" before someone else felt they had to....stems from childhood garbage!) Anyway, I completely understand your feelings of betrayal by your dad...by your "friends" in the congregation is terrible enough, but when a family member does it because they are "following the Borg" then it really cuts to the core!

So, girl, rant and rave all you need to....I don't blame you at all. It actually helps to vent it!

anewlife/Cheryl

32

My Therapist Must Think I'm Absolutely Nuts!

by Swan in

jw
friends

every week i go in and tell my therapist these fantastic stories about the religion i was raised in!

i think he believes me, but then when i think about it, it sounds too fantastic to be true.

he must think i'm absolutely insane.

anewlife

Hi Tammy:

Anyway, I too am seeing a counselor and it's quite interesting to me as well hearing the words come out of my mouth as to what I USED to believe! My counselor just shakes her head and the only thing she does allow herself to say about it is, "I have a real problem with this 'JW Program'." I thought it interesting that she refers to it as a "program" as if it is a way of life that is followed, mapped out and dictated to you as to what is right and wrong and what you can't do and what you can do......OH, wait a minute.....that's EXACTLY what it is! The way I'm treated as a DF'd person is really hard for her to understand...it's so unreasonably harsh, unloving and unforgiving.

I find talking with my counselor validates my feelings that this organization has done nothing but bring about harm and pain to me and it is in my best interests for a successful life to be rid of the "JW Program."

anewlife

41

I'd like to introduce myself.......

by DJ in

jw
friends

my name is donna.

i was directed to this forum through freeminds.org by randy watters.

i found his site to be very helpful to me and i highly recommend it to other newbies.

anewlife

WELCOME TO THE BOARD Donna!

Your story was heartwarming! I admire your strong determination to show love for your family no matter what they may throw your way....what strength!!! I could learn from you as I am in a position now deciding what to do with my parents and siblings....Do I completely walk away as I am DF'd and they will not speak to me or do I insist on calling them periodically and even seeing them occasionally (especially since my younger sister is having a baby in October). The "holding my tongue" part is what will be hard for me as I have been so unbelievably hurt.

Again, thank you for sharing your story!

Cheryl/anewlife

37

WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL BE THE LATEST NEW LIGHT?

by minimus in

jw
friends

since the lite gets brighter and brighter and jehovah always reveals his confidential matters to his servants, what new light will we next learn?

anewlife

I have to agree with Mulan....there MUST be a change in the way people are disfellowshipped, especially since they've changed this before. This time I think they will acknowledge them IF they come to the KH for meetings...greetings will be exchanged and words of "spiritual" encouragement. However, they will not be invited to any of the "friend's get-togethers" until AFTER they are reinstated.

By changing policy and doing things this way they can quash those of us who have been shunned to the severist extent and accused the WTBTS of not having any "brotherly love". After all, this is the basis of the "true religion" and they must show this to the apostates and the "worldlies" that we are the ones that are wrong...not the Organization. Just my opinion.

anewlife

6

Reunion with brother Part 2

by Bendrr in

jw
friends

thanks to all who responded to my post about reuniting with my brother.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=34827&site=3.

nice to see that simon took an interest, thanks buddy!

anewlife

I read your story yesterday Mike and was happy to hear you have family who wants to be in touch with you as much as you do them.

Sounds like you had a wonderful time! Cherish every moment!

anewlife/Cheryl

48

Tiring of Anti-JW causes?

by ashitaka in

jw
friends

i'm kind of burnt out from being pissed off at jws.

tonight, while talking to a friend who left at the same time i did (several years ago), we both spoke of our apathy towards the whole anti-witness movement.

recently i helped in several anti-jw actions, and i thought i made a difference, although it was a pittens compared to others who have come before.

anewlife

Ash: I understand what you are saying and how you are feeling. Some days I question myself and ask, "When am I going to be able to let it all go? When will I no longer feel like a JW or an exJW?" I've decided that as long as I'm "fighting against being a JW" I will always be trapped in a sense. I need to learn how to just be me, whoever that is. I've only been out for two years and I think the hardest part is family and some former friends who I considered family. I guess I truly NEVER really thought I'd be an outcast...that when it came right down to it, they'd still love me as family....I was wrong. I'm getting better about it all and am moving forward into making a complete stand such as, "If you can't accept that I am and will no longer be a JW anymore, then there is absolutely no need to even call me to try and see my kids. If you choose to follow the JW rules then our family ties must be completely severed as I cannot keep getting my hopes up every few months when you call to 'just ask me something' that perhaps it's a start of a relationship again. It's just not fair to me and I deserve more."

In the meantime this board helps me to see I'm not alone in my "battle"....that someday I WILL move on and have a normal life. For now, this is where I choose to be.

anewlife