Will my inactive JW bring our children up as a witness?

by stevepill 73 Replies latest jw experiences

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  DesirousOfChange

  But she said there s a non- Jw at her work she likes who apparently ticks all the boxes!

  That sounds like a veiled threat. She might as well have said:

  "There are other fish in the sea."

  "Sh!t or get off the pot."
  

  And he will still be there "ticking all the boxes" even after you're married.  He's probably making a good attempt to start "dticking" HER BOX.  If she is taking notice of him now, why do you think she wouldn't continue to notice him then when you have any other disagreement come to the fore.

  (I may be over-reacting to this statement, but I dislike having a gun pointed to my head.)

  Doc
  
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  stevepill

  Thank you paul
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  stevepill

  I value your input but she thought we were over months ago so I suppose she was looking for other options I suppose.  You is driving me insane love is a bad drug sometimes.
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  rebel8

  can't say def as does not know how she will feel in 10 years time. But none of us can say what will happen in 10 years I suppose

  Sorry, that sounds indecisive to me. I can definitely promise I will not feel positively toward the dubs in 10 or any number of years.

  Maybe you can work with her to help her come to a decision. But it should not be because she wants to marry you--it should be because that's what's actually in her heart.

  Not wanting to expose oneself to disconfirming information (COC) is a cult tactic. Ours taught that anyone who says anything bad about them is really controlled by Satan and they can be possessed by demons just by listening. Sounds like she's still afraid.
  
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  William Penwell

  I know a lot of people over the years that have been inactive dubs for years but when push comes to shove they still believe in the BS.
  
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  ABibleStudent

  William Penwell - I know a lot of people over the years that have been inactive dubs for years but when push comes to shove they still believe in the BS. 

  DITTO!!  It is easier for a JW to leave the WTBTS than it is to remove the indoctrination/phobias from a former JW.

  i know a friend, who doesn't believe that the Bible is the Word of God, but that the WTBTS has the most fundamental understanding of it of all religions.  Also, he will admit that the WTBTS's doctrines go beyond Scriptural interpretation on blood, birthdays, shunning, etc so would therefore be in conflict with De 4:1-2 and Mt 15:3-9.  He is experiencing cognitive dissonance between the great memories he had as a JW and the realities of following the GB.

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  Robert

  
  
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  stevepill

  I'm trying to turn this on its head a bit, here goes. She's told me she doesn't want go back as she doesn't like people telling her she can or cannot do something. She also tells me she doesn't want to bring up a child as a witness. In six years she has never attended more than twice a year and never never really talks about her faith. I have had to take it back to basics but I cannot ask much more, you can only go with what you know now sometimes not what might happen. Maybe being in the middle ground is where she will stay, me trying to push her is just as bad as the Jw telling her what to do, I could leave the COC book with her and the offer of my help, maybe one day she will get curious. I think by me pushing her for an answer now it's making it worse. I have asked her to just be honest and open with me as marriage would be nothing without this and communication is key.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  
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  stevepill

  She has no regular contact with any Jw's either. 

  Theres no guarantees in life, I have friend who has 6 kids and had model family, his wife cheated on him then she ended up trying to hang herself and became a Cochin addict, she showed no signs of this before, so life's not guaranteed I suppose.
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  DesirousOfChange

  so life's not guaranteed

  Every day is a new day and the only guarantee is that you'll be a day older that evening with no chance of recovering it.  Carpe Diem!  Grab hold of it with both hands and embrace it.

  Best wishes,

  Doc
  
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  stevepill

  Thanks Doc