Will my inactive JW bring our children up as a witness?

by stevepill 73 Replies latest jw experiences

  • stevepill
    You've all been fantastic I can't thank you enough, this is so hard, feel like giving up want to help her.
  • GLTirebiter
    Get it in writing, i.e. a pre-nup.
  • Giordano

    If she thinks a thunderstorm is the start of Armageddon I'd be worried.

    When my wife and I left the JW's to start our family we never allowed our son to be cared for by any of our JW family members as we could not trust them to agree to a blood transfusion that would give our son a chance to survive a traumatic injury (like being hit by a car or other serious accident) if we were not on the scene.

    We also forbid any propaganda materials with stories about Armageddon, having to be a JW to survive, the new world etc.

    The JW's have delusional beliefs much like the Mormons, Christian Scientists and the Amish. They all practice shunning or try to control the health and welfare of their members. Any religion that shuns or is a high control religion needs to be avoided.

  • DesirousOfChange

    If she thinks a thunderstorm is the start of Armageddon I'd be worried.

    Yeah............about her mental health, in general.



  • rebel8

    this is so hard, feel like giving up want to help her

    That is really admirable, just know that you are now putting yourself in the position of deprogramming her. That could take decades and may never be successful.

    You could try exposing her to information about the cult and see if it affects her. Give her time to process and accept what she learns, then re-assess.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi stevepill,  Until your GF can critically think for herself, she will be susceptible to BITE control manipulation techniques.  If your GF can watch the following videos and discuss what she feels with you, she may be able to critically think for herself: "To Verdener (Worlds Apart with English subtitles)", How Big is the Phenomenon of Undue Influence? (2:01), Strategic Interactive Approach explained 2003 (1:23:23).

    If she can watch all three videos and talk about what she feels with you, your relationship may have a chance.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • stevepill
    Great tips Youve all made me feel better about myself, thought it was me being over cautious, that's how she makes me feel. She wants me to marry her and because I'm stalling on commitment she has just told me she loves me but wants to get on with her life and find someone who she can have a baby with and get married, I asked her if she was going to go back to meetings, she said not sure. But she said there s a non- Jw at her work she likes who apparently ticks all the boxes! I feel devastated, seems all this for nothing. So have written a letter to her in last ditch attempt to talk her around and ordered a book crisis of conscience, maybe it may help the next guy 😥
  • AudeSapere

    Sorry to hear about this turn of events.

    Trust your gut. You knew there could be danger ahead. I think a few dozen of us who have 'been there' validated what you were already feeling.

    She will very likely return to the JWs after she has a baby. Very many do.



  • stevepill
    Thank you Aude
  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    Why does she want you to marry her? 

    Why did she move out after living with you?

    It may be because of family pressure and the shunning is working. If you get married then her family may re-engage with her and that could be a strong motivation.

    You need a series of heart to heart conversations and she needs to be willing to honestly investigate her religion (cult) of birth (i'm guessing she was a born in).

    If she is not or will not be willing to do that then walk away.

    Edit to add: if she read this whole thread, what would be the result? It's possible the indoctrination is still so strong that she wont even read anything on an "apostate" site like this one.

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