Serious business (page 5)

The Operating Committee having been consulted, and after several fact finding three hour meetings, has determined that paper rolls in the brother's restroom should be over, and rolls in the sister's restroom should be under. However, at the beginning of each service year (September 1) rotation will be swapped in each restroom.

During the meetings held the brothers were unable to determine if quilted Northern or Charmin tissue should be purchased and whether only white should be used with out colors or printing? The Service Committees of all congregations were duly consulted, but no consensus was achieved. Accordingly a letter signed by all members of each Service Committee has been forwarded to Tony "spanx the monkey" Morris for an official ruling. Until such time as a response is received each congregation publisher should bring their own toilet tissue roll to each meeting. To avoid overloading the septic system, publishers are advised to use only one sheet per toilet visit.

Your brothers,

Kingdom Hall Operating Committee

Blackfalcon98

Over if you want comfort

Under if you want savings

brandnew

@SadElder.....BWAAAAAAA HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAA ! ! ! ! !! !

in a elvis presley drawl........thank you......thank you verr muuch.

SadElder

brandnew: you're welcome

I couldn't help myself. The computer made me do it.

cantleave

Just use a sponge on a stick like the Romans did.

stuckinarut2

Sadelder... That was gold!

I was waiting for someone to bring a "theocratic" or "scriptural" angle to this debate!

1 Tim 2:20-23

In a toilet and bathroom, there are utensils not only of gold and silver but also of wood and earthenware, and some for an honorable use but others for a use lacking honor. Yes, some are designed to wipe ones backside. 21 So if anyone keeps clear of the latter ones, he will be an instrument for an honorable use, sanctified, useful to his owner, prepared for every good work. 22 So flee from toilet paper debates and desires, but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a clean heart. 23 Further, reject foolish and ignorant debates, knowing that it is established here in scripture that the roll is to go over, never under, for that would be falling into the snares of the devil....

About toilet paper, and its rightful, hanging state

The overseer then VOCALIZED , his VOICE LIKE thunder

Should Toilet paper be rolled over, or JUST under?

A silence ensued, while the gathering squirmed

Some sedulously into, their grey bibles wormed

Others looked hither, or whither and thither

A few wanted out, and began secretly to slither

Most didn’t know, which way to really turn

The question really fogged them, their minds began to churn

Five thought of this and ten thought of that

Finally, one that got up – he was horribly fat.

“My posterior is large and dumb though may soundl

It’s a massive territory – and covers lot of ground

So if all of you please –forgive me- but I do not waver

I’d rather-ah! Ahem! prefer a roll of newspaper!!”

Up jumped a whippersnapper, of no small renown

He was angry and pink, and his brow was a frown

“Pray, DO tell Bro. Wide Ass – since you’re so eager to choose

Are yu teaching your dunghole to REALLY read the news?”

Bro WideAss felt insulted and jellied up all flustered

“Bro Stick I have no need to –no need..”, he blustered

“Since your reading skills are miles ahead of the rest

There’s no need for mine, to imitate the best

The rest looked at th’o’erseer -with mouths open wide

How the heck was he to stem, this outrageous deride

At last, the overseer, regained his his senses to bawl

“Both of you –JUDICIAL COMMITTEE!—now out of this hall! “

The culprits slunk out, though being quite pipped

Drank their ire –didn’t want to be - “disfellowshipped”!

The debate resumed at last, with order restored

Everyone now wide-eyed - not a single one bored

Then stood the wizened, ole blighter McDrool

“ I think, he croaked,” it should rest over the spool”.

“Why”shouted others ,”dear ole Bro Mcdrool?

Give us your reasons pray ,don’t think us mere fools”

“Sometimes when I wipe, a few dirty stains

On my bony hands sans paper, slimily remain

When it’s o’er the spool, I reach - quickly to glean

The rest of the toilet paper, remains virginly clean.

But sometimes when my hands are covered with shit

And the toilet paper rests under, not over -to wit

I reach to gather – but alas! I’m ashamed -to go on..”

“Forget it Bro McDrool- we get it – you…moron

You , every meeting, sully T- paper, spool after spool

You don’t need a shitpot, but a damn swimmin’ pool.

Pray how much do yu dump each time you sit

On that commode- bring us up to scratch –yu dimwit

Bro. McDrool drew himself up, to his full adult height

His arthritis was shakin’ him, but he got ready to fight

Moron and dimwit? Those insults -you at me holler

A man in his 80’s ? - now then -you closely me foller

I was fukkin when yu were suckkin you shit- headed blimps

Some were not even thought of, your dear dads were pimps

Your ugly mothers whored around , a dime an S.T.D poke

Sometime s for a penny, at other times for a joke

Now if you think your shit , don’t fill a dolls cup

Yu can kiss my hairy ass, yu dumb whore’s pup!!

Dumbfounded were all, chaos followed soon

The over’seer had toppled over, in an unsavory swoon

The meeting was disrupted with missiles being thrown

A bethel committee was called in, all hurriedly sworn,

To preside over this matter , on which all agreed

Unanimous was the consensus, then they decreed

This was an issue, that shamed the great crowd

It must be thrown out - the WT, really, - was under a cloud

What should be done, with this horrible plight

They decided it was final- an apostate website!!

So now, my friends yu know, how this q came here

But we’ll solve it, even though, be it many a year!!!

Serious business

brandnew

SadElder

Blackfalcon98

brandnew

SadElder

cantleave

stuckinarut2

Blackfalcon98

brandnew

Hairtrigger

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