Name some silly things you couldn't do as a witness

by sweet tee 105 Replies latest jw friends

  • misspeaches

    we weren't allowed to watch road runner because it glorified violence.
    we also weren't allowed to sing a jingle on the tv 'jeepers... creepers... where'd you get them sneakers?' because the jeepers creepers actually meant jesus christ and that was blasphemy.

  • glenwoodswoman

    Aw cyberguy....I was going to say masturbate! well, I did (say it I mean hehe)

    I bet no one ever did that in that organization....

    great post...made my day!


  • HadEnuf

    Couldn't put your arm around your fiance' if you were engaged or even if you were married

    One elder told a "sister" she shouldn't laugh so loud at the KH

    And of course the never-ending debate about how long a slit could be in a skirt

    No toys to keep little kids occupied at meetings...but they could look at the Bible story book

    Cathy L.

  • tijkmo

    not allowed to wear 'nike'--pagan god

    not allowed to watch lion king...subliminal messages in the clouds

    not allowed to go to 'centre parks'...........british will understand

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    Wow guys. I've been away from the organization for a while, and I had forgotten most of these things. You're bringing back a lot of memories. I keep thinking of the Puritan Anne Bradstreet's autobiographical tale with some of these things. You all should read it, I think you'll find it interesting. It's like the American 17th and 18th century all over again.

    Interestingly, I remember always finding dissonance with the new covenant being written in the hearts of beleivers, since every appearance was so closely scrutinized. If the law was in our hearts, why did we need someone else telling us what's appropriate.

    Funny, I've never realized how puritanical I'd become.

  • exjwshell
    Remember in the 80's, when it was popular to pinch roll your pants?

    Too funny! I had almost forgotten all about this! My parents never forbid it (cause they didn't really know) but I made sure I went to school early every day so I could run into the bathroom to fix the legs of my pants and sneak my blue eyeliner on! LOL

  • tsunami_rid3r

    The elder who gives the public talks masturbates.
    The brothers who run the literature counter masturbate.
    The sisters who do the part 3 and 4 masturbate.
    The sister who got disfellowshipped masturbates.
    The single sister with the baby masturbates.
    The elder who conducts the Watchtower masturbates.
    The chairman masturbates.
    The brothers who do the microphones masturbate.
    The brother who does the sound masturbates.
    The book study reader masturbates.
    The brother who cleans the bathrooms at the assembly masturbates.
    The young brother who gives the part 2 masturbates.
    The young brother whos homeschooled and sits by his mom constantly petting her hair often masturbates on a daily basis.
    The brother who gives the local needs masturbates.
    The elderly sister whos a pioneer masturbates.
    All of the pioneer sisters masturbate.
    The service conductor masturbates.
    The young sister who comments a lot masturbates.
    The brother who runs the magazine counter masturbates.
    The brother who handles territory masturbates.
    The brother who's in charge of cleaning the restrooms at the assembly masturbates.
    The governing body masturbates.
    The circuit overseers wife masturbates.
    The circuit overseer masturbates.

  • ljwtiamb

    I mentioned this b4, but I know of a married couple who were told that the wife could not masturbate her husband. (Actually, I am not even sure how this came to the attention of the elders - ha, ha I said came!) The elders went into this whole spiel about how it was an unclean practice, and that it had nothing to do with procreation, etc.

    Anyways, they are now divorced!

    Thank goodness they had such loving shepherds.

  • Frog

    This is all classic stuff!! It rings so many bells...I remember a conversation with the CO's wife over a young couple in a neighbouring congregation who had just been reproved for matters of oral sex, it was talked about as though the subject was completley common knowledge, and it was!!!

    I was always being sent back inside the house to take off excessive make-up, or change to more modest clothing for the meetings.

    In my cong you were practically marked if you associated outside of the witness circles at school???

    Couldn't wear pants to the meetings cause I didn't have a doodle;-)

    Wasn't allowed to watch monkey magic, smurfs, or never ending story on the tele, cause of the underlying supernatural themes???

    Mum had to buy us 'icecream dolls' cause cabbage patch dolls were possessed???

    And soooo much more, but mostly already covered in the above posts...froglett xox

  • loosie

    ljwtiamb - are you saying you can't your hubbys willie in a repeatedly up and down motion?

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