You know you're NOT a JW anymore when...(add some)

by Flindersgirl 55 Replies latest social humour

  • Flindersgirl
    Flindersgirl

    you don't automatically wake up with a headache on Sunday morning...

    you no longer go around (while in field service) mentally deciding what home you'll "have" after Armaggedon...

    every item of clothing you buy as a woman is not first assessed for its modesty value...

    you no longer worry about the 144,000 watching you have sex...:)

    when on holiday you don't have to find the nearest kingdom hall ASAP (remember brother and sisters you are NOT on holiday from Jehovah!!!)

    being able to laugh about having a numb ass at the assemblies from sitting and the hilarity in having to tell people that you found the meeting "uplifting" when really you were fighting sleep the whole time...

    you no longer have to avoid entire sections of music stores in order to make sure you don't pick up and "demonistic" vibes from backmasked CD's. :)

  • upside/down
    upside/down

    insist on proof for EVERYTHING you're taught... not just the "biggies" (No trinity, no hellfire, no immortal soul, paradise etc)

    I think more people here are "true" JW's than the average Dub. We're kinda like David when he was living in caves and fleeing from Saul. The "arrangement" will eventually work itself out and I think the outcome for many will be like those who went to the feast of Baal at Jehu's command- only to be proven disloyal and killed.

    But that's just IMO.

    u/d

  • anglise
    anglise

    For sisters

    Your shoes arent bought with FS and comfort in mind.

    You carry a handbag and not a book bag.

    You have more trousers than skirts and dresses and more chances to wear them.

    Anglise

  • berylblue
    berylblue

    Your life is so great now that you no longer give a rat's ass if there's a Jehovah waiting to kill you with a giant hailstone for such egregious transgressions as having the audacity to put up a tree with some shiny ornaments on it once a year, or eating a cake on which a few blown out candles have resided

  • new light
    new light

    You put in a few extra hours at work on a Thursday and actually feel productive instead of guilty.

    Your book shelves hold things you actually chose to read and you call them books, not publications.

    The thought of addressing a complete stranger by "Brother So-and-so" is ridiculous.

  • New Worldly Translation
    New Worldly Translation
    you no longer go around (while in field service) mentally deciding what home you'll "have" after Armaggedon...

    LOL @ that one!

    You no longer have use for a highlighter pen

    The most interesting part of a weekend in July isn't a lame drama about Lot's wife

    You no longer suck polo mints to keep you awake

    You don't worry about inanimate objects having demons clinging to them

    Riding around on a pet lion seems ludicrous rather than a future possibility

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    You no longer flagellate yourself out of guilt after masturbation - You do it during sex down the local S&M club for pleasure!

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    you head for the athletic clothing stores as soon as you get to the mall

    chocolate candy reminds you of Easter Egg Hunts

    you actually enjoy making love without feeling guilty about what methods you used to please your partner

    reading the bible is really fun and entertaining

  • gumby
    gumby

    You wake up and there's two crank whores in your bed, there's 24 empty beer bottles strewn around the room, and the ashtray in the motel is spilling over on the carpet.

    Gumby

  • Scully
    Scully

    When weekends are for sleeping in, not for Meetings? and Field Service?.

    When you can watch whatever movies or TV shows you want to watch and listen to whatever music you want.

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