I am very sorry for your wife having been put through that. It does not surprise me however, as my own mother, the lady who bore me through terrible times treats me the same way. I am df'd and the other day she came by to take me to lunch (which is not what she is supposed to do) and when I asked her why she tried to tell me her relationship with me is very limited and more a business arrangement than a family one and that she has a good relationship with both of my sisters, just not with me. This infuriated me and so I, who ususally holds back let her have what I thought about the people that she does associate who have "supposably repented" and how bad it hurt me that she spends time that she would consider familial not business like with those who are fake. For example, she plays cards every Saturday night with the man who went to the elders and told them lies that got me df'd to begin with. The real reason why, he made this all up because I would not sleep with him. When I started in on her religion ruling her and the organization and not Jesus she got so angry and yelled "his name is Jehovah" (we were at the park with my two year old daughter who was excited to play, we had been there five minutes). She demanded that I take her home. Later after I got her to calm down and told her she can not attack me and expect not to get attacked back, she offerred to study with me. I agreed as long as I could bring things to refute her. I told her no Watchtower, just the bible. That was Sunday, this is Monday, she just came by and brought me dinner and baby formula as I just had a newborn.
My point, the elders are not going to listen if you can't get your own mother to. I have one question for both, what would Jesus do if he were standing there. I guarantee you he would have told them what he told the high priests "Let he who has not sinned, cast the first stone." I have come so close to having a nervous breakdown, my immune system is low and I get sick a lot, all because of the stress caused by disfellowshipping which is suppose to be like discipline which in its very meaning means to "teach", not to ignore and treat cruely.
I wish your wife the best of health and happiness. Tell her to try and picture herself a child sitting in the arms of Jesus. He is kissing her tears away and telling her not to let any man come between her and her relationship with him. This is what I do and instantly I am given peace. If she goes before the elders again and they cut her off, tell her to try praying outloud and when they try to walk away, tell her to pray "Jehovah hear my prayers and help me to be heard so that I can serve you better as the men you have put in place to guide me are walking away from me." It lets them know what she needs and it makes them answer for what they are doing wrong.
Love and laughter,
Shelley
