Sexual Harassment

by LittleToe 163 Replies latest jw friends

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  SixofNine

  :What are acceptable mores for behaviour and reprisal?

  Well there are as many different acceptable/not acceptable levels of sexual play as there are occassions when humans meet on this planet. This a very difficult thing to legislate because of that fact. But it's also hard not to "personalize" the discussion, because lets face it, no one (except a few religious nuts) wants to live in a non-sexual world, and we all want leeway for our own attractions. So if we don't talk specific incidents, it gets rather silly rather quickly; "a man should NEVER....", "a woman should NEVER....".

  I think New Light and Avishai just threw a couple of material points into the ring. I'll throw another in: Until you have your shit together, you should not get drunk, whether you're 15 or 50.
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  LittleToe

  Ballistic:
  So how would you define "harassment"? Is it a behaviour thing, or a feeling thing?
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  seven006

  
  
  
  
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  flower

  Is it appropriate for a guy to ask if you are wearing any panties? Are there any circumstances, for a stranger, where this would be appropriate?

  If I was at a wild party and a drunk guy asked me if I was wearing panties I probably would not have too much of a problem with that..you kinda expect to be hit on if you go to a wild party....especially if you are looking hot. Of course its inappropriate and rude but at a wild party I expect to see some rude inappropriate behavior.

  But if I made it clear that it was none of his business and that I didnt want to discuss it with him and he continued I think thats where a joke becomes harrassment...when the person does not stop when asked or when it is clear that the attention is unwanted. In the workplace that is a crime but I dont know if its a crime here at a party or outside of a place of employment. But I'm sure once they touch me or try to lift my skirt or use a camera to see up my skirt then it becomes a crime and I would insist that if the person didnt leave the party I would call the cops.

  It shoudnt matter the gender of the victim or the gender of the harrasser. When asked repeatedly to stop, they should stop or be asked to leave especially if this occurred in someones home. Its a shame that some people are more tolerant of and sympathetic towards a woman who commits a crime than a man. I think if a guy went that far with harrassement in someones home probably everyone would have unanimously agreed to call the cops or throw his ass out physically without caring what kind of person problems or marital problems he might be going through or what kind of abuse he might have endured in his life. It shouldnt have been allowed to escalate that far just because the gender roles were reversed.

  Ross, as hot a specimen as you are in a kilt, you certainly didnt deserve to be treated without respect like that. Even though it is a curious thing to see a man in a kilt in this country outside of halloween, it doesnt give one the right to go on and on when asked to stop.
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  joannadandy

  Is this about the time I begged you to do a Marlyn Monroe impersonation?
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  ballistic

  Ballistic:So how would you define "harassment"? Is it a behaviour thing, or a feeling thing?

  Well that's the whole issue isn't it. Whether it is harrassment or not depends on how it is taken.
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  flower

  I am a little concerned that we're all still personalising it a little much, though

  If a person in a group is rude, obnoxious, doesnt stop sexual advances when asked to, and exhibits other behaviors suggesting severe anger management issues and possibly severe mental illness would you not tell your friends so they can know NOT to invite this person over for coffee? Or would you ONLY tell your friends and not the others in the group? I mean not that anyone has an obligation to share this info but it just seems like it would be a good thing for others to know especially with all the internet related crimes. I know that what happens at fests and parties should stay there but I would think in the case of a person going beyond what is even a little acceptable then an exception should be made.
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  Brummie

  Is it for that attention or is it specifically for you to show pride for your heritage?

  Dave I know thats not addressed to me and I'm sure liltoe will respond accordingly, but its a well known Scottish thang that Men dress in this when attending special occasions. It is an heritage and also the equivalent to us dressing in a suit and tie when attending weddings, christenings and apostafests etc.
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  frenchbabyface

  I want to see every man in KILT ... Ok ... more over if they are tall and strong built ... IT's Damn' SEXY
  but again that doesn't give anybody the right to wathever, just like for a woman ... arrassement (draw the line when the one who feel like it say ENOUGH if didn't realised yet).
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  LittleToe

  Dave:

  Do you wear a kilt on a daily basis? If not why not?

  No, but I often wear one to functions and parties, as do many Scots.
  In this particular case I had been expressly invited to wear it.
  At other Fests (where I've worn it) it's just been for the main "evening", too.

  Do you think this unfortunate circumstance may have been avoided if you did not wear it?

  That's a non-sequitor.

  I have always wondered why you wear it to the fests. Is it for that attention or is it specifically for you to show pride for your heritage?

  The latter, though the chances of me doing so again are significantly diminished.

  SavageBuddha looked great in his UtiliKilt, too.

  Flower:
  Like you I have no real issue with being asked, nor propositioned for that matter, in a situation where it's almost expected. As you say, once someone has politely been turned down an invasion of personal space is unacceptable, however. Though I've dealt with that on a few occasions, too.
  Hence my question about "asking for it".

  Ross, as hot a specimen as you are in a kilt...

  I feel so objectified
  LOL

  Jojo:
  Is it your birthday?

  Ballistic:So harassment is determined by "feeling harassed", rather than a socially acceptable standard of behaviour?