A knock on my door- and I'm still shaking

by cyber-sista 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • cyber-sista
    cyber-sista

    Just had a witness encounter and it shook me and I'm not sure why. A pioneer sister just came to my door. She has a very sweet personality--she started off with a hug. She brought along old sister Alzheimers with her for protection. I stood like a deer in the headlights as she rambled on and told me how she wanted to let me know that I was welcome to join them at the upcoming assembly. I very nicely told her that I wouldn't be going, but she pretended to not hear me and just rambled on. She told me about the drama and who would be performing it. She told me about young brother so-in-so who just got back on working at a big Walkill project and how much he loved it and all the wonderful things he learned about the Org being there. She told me they now have a swimming pool and pools tables for the workers there now and how he got together in the evening after a very long hard day of work to have fine association with the brothers there and how loving and wonderful Jehovah's Org (the thing is I know this kid and also heard he was miserable and called home everyday wanting to come home early). She told me that maybe he would even make this his career now and what a a wonderful opportunity it was for him. In the end she emphasized the point to me that what this kid learned while being there is HOW IMPORTANT PERSONAL STUDY IS. She told me about how the Organization has sold their property in NY and moved all their printing facilities upstate for safety reasons.

    I just stood there rather sick to my stomach not knowing what to say as she droned on and on about brother so-in-sos latest talk, etc, etc... She didn't ask me about what I had been up to or what my problem was--she just tried to encourage me by all the wonderful things I was missing out on and acted like I was still a part of it. This is a woman who has dedicated her whole life to the cause--she's been pioneering for 30 plus years, never had any children because of her dedication to God--didn't get married until she was in her mid 40s. But I didn't know what to say. I was speachless. She told me how wonderful it was to see me and how she would stop by and check on me from time to time. I did decline to take the magazines, which she offered me with a presentation--I told her I could read them on line and was rather vague about it (I'm sure she will tell her elder husband about me being online) they are both total paranoids about the internet. Sometimes I wish I was Dfd when I have these encounters as they still shake me up for some reason. This woman was so totally oblivious of my thoughts and obvious feelings--in order to get through to her I would have to hit her over the head. This woman would die if she knew the truth about the Org--she is so far gone she has no mind of her own--she is a total Org drone--a puppet and I pity her, but she still seems happy in her little WT world--so I must leave her there. I know this doesn't sound all that scary, so why am I still shaking?

  • Nikita
    Nikita

    Hey Cyber sis, has it been awhile since you have had to deal with them?

  • Purza
    Purza

    I would probably still be shaking too. Maybe it is because she used the "JW speak" and it brought back bad memories?

    Purza

  • Undaunted Danny
    Undaunted Danny

    Ain't they creepy.. It's the 'Invasion of the body snatchers'. Afraid The watchtower has 'cocooned' the 'alienated' jdubs in their cult mind-control, psychopath ,"pods".

  • cyber-sista
    cyber-sista

    I have only been away from the meetings for about a year now. The therapist that I am seeing just reminded me that 5 months ago when I first came to see him I was in a state of shock and suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome, because of the stress I had been put under by those "loving shepherd" elders and also the stress of pulling away from the Org collective. I have come a long way since then and this board has helped me a lot. You're right Danny--it is some pretty creepy stuff. Seeing people with their souls sucked out of them is the kind of stuff horror movies are made up of.

  • SheilaM
    SheilaM

    Cyber I still shake too and get emotional. When I gave my speech (it's in the archives here) at the college I was very emotional and close to bawling...so don't be to hard on yourself at least you didn't give in and stood your ground so YEA CYBER WHOOO HOOOO

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    Why do you still shake?

    Fiery, hot, suppressed rage. Like a volcano.

    Country Girl

  • Sunspot
    Sunspot

    ((((Cybs))))

    I know exactly what you're talking about! I can write words to express myself----but when it comes to a face-to-face confrontation like yours, I'm the in the "ominna-ominna-ominna-ominna" class, and always feel how I WISH I could stop my heart from pounding and speak intelligently!

    Some folks are superb at handling unexpected situations and can say just the right things..........and I SO wish I could be like that! As for the shaking feeling, if you're anything like me, I get THAT and I replay the incident over and over again in my mind......which doesn't help or do any good, lol!

    You were polite, and heard her out, and declined the invitation and the mags----so I think you did just fine! Don't fret about it, and stop shaking! THAT'S AN ORDER!

    hugs,

    Annie

  • gitasatsangha
    gitasatsangha

    Cybersista,

    I might venture that you were just caught off guard, and hearing all the old JW bull directed at you was a disturbing flashback. The unsettling feeling may last awhile, like from a very bad dream, but it will dissapear after awhile.

  • ApagaLaLuz
    ApagaLaLuz

    (((cybersister))))

    Perhaps it's just your adrenaline from being caught of guard. It's like, just when you think you've settled down and things are back to normal, something like this happens to stir up old feelings. I'm sure her intentions were pure. *muah* you'll be fine

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