A knock on my door- and I'm still shaking

by cyber-sista 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • gitasatsangha
    gitasatsangha

    chevy we think alarmingly alike.

  • ApagaLaLuz
    ApagaLaLuz

    :) lol, this cross posting is the pits. Perhaps that's why no one ever responds to my thoughts, because I'm simply repeating those above me

    Alright, enough with that, back on track.

    BTW Cybersister, perhaps you could change your door bell to play the theme song from Three's Company 'Come and knock on our dooooooor, we've been waiting for youuuuuuuu'

    That's what I did

  • gitasatsangha
    gitasatsangha

    I've been visited by girlscouts selling cookies, people selling newspaper subscriptions, mormons, even the freakin MOONIES for crying out loud, but never the JW's.

  • Golf
    Golf

    Get yourself a stiff drink and chalk it up to experience. The next time she visits you, have your pin ready to ease the air out of her ballon!

    Guest 77

  • new light
    new light

    You're not alone, Cyber. I too get uncomfortable and nervous when people shove JWism in my face. I believe I contain it well, but it is bothersome. Let's face it, we abhor the JW religion and we have intimate memories of how we were personally fooled and subdued. Since you (and me) have only recently exited, the wound has not completely scarred over and there is still some pain when it is touched. In time, the bad memories will not stir nearly as much emotion.

  • blondie
    blondie

    ((((hugs)))) cyber-sista.

    It's like an abuse victim suddenly encountering their abuser.

    Blondie

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    I know what that's like. The thing is, these are people you once held very high respect for. They're people you looked up to because they were so spiritual. These people were advising you how to live. You turned down their advice, and are probably afraid of hurting their feelings.

    Hell, I used to wanna run whenever I ran into a JW. I didn't want them telling me how much they missed me at the meetings. I didn't want to hurt their feelings. I always said "We'll see" or "Maybe".

    I ended up taking on a JW head first and coming right out with my problems with the org. What I realized is these people are nothing to be afraid of. They're just trained to convert me. Taking them on head first was probably the best thing I did for myself when dealing with my "fear" of them. Now, if they invite me to the meeting, I'll have no problem saying "Not in your fxxxing life".

  • Special K
    Special K

    Here is a hug first.

    (((( Cybersista )))

    Considering everything you said here about leaving the JW's, being in therapy for the post traumatic stress it has caused you. I'd say this nice J.W. woman was a great big TRIGGER..and ignited all those feelings.

    When I first left the J.W.'s and then was disfellowshipped I was triggered by them every time I saw them. I wanted all of them out of my personal space..and my personal space was pretty big for a long time. I didn't even want a J.W. in the grocery store, hardware store, the big malls...when I was in there. I had a big personal space then, and if they were in the mall when I was..then I was uncomfortable, irritated and panicky and I wanted to leave. They hampered my thinking let alone my shopping. I needed to protect my psyche while I healed from them. My psyche mind was raw, tender and in pain..I didn't need them to keep popping up... and popping up unexpectantly was worse.

    I can tolerate them now..and have finally moved to what I think is one of the final places of healing from the things that they taught me. I look at them now and feel sorry for most of them. What poor people, misguided just like I was. Some of them really are nice people too, sad but they are a product of what the WTS has fed them and led them to believe. Some of them will always and forever be Jehovahs Witnesses. A people so locked up in their thinking.

    I think you did really well considering how upsetting to you she was.

    Give it a couple days and I think you'll be okay.

    Special K

  • cyber-sista
    cyber-sista
    Let's face it, we abhor the JW religion and we have intimate memories of how we were personally fooled and subdued.

    I think that is part of it. Trying to explain it to my hubby today who was never JW--it was hard for him to understand why it shook me so--he said "afterall you used to believe the same way too". While I was never as rabidly JW as this sister who called on me I was JW nonetheless, which is probably one of the reasons it did disturb me so is how I explained it to him. I used to be an Org drone too. Any of you Star Trek Voyager fans out there you can relate this to the whole 7 of 9 situation--remember how disturbing it was when she got close to the Borg again after being separated from the collective?

    BTW how did this all get posted under "entertainment." Was that my doing?

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    (((((cyber-sista)))))

    I know how you feel! I had a sister call me long distance no less and give me the please pray to Jehovah that your love of the truth will come back spiel.......barf! I was fighting that sick, shaky feeling the whole conversation but stood my ground!

    I too was surprised at how the conversation and the JW speak really got to me, they are so totally wrapped up in the B'org and fear of displeasing Jehovah even when she did seem to understand what I was saying she wouldn't acknowledge it but kept side stepping it with only Jehovah knows. I knew I could talk to her forever and never get my point across so I just left it and thanked her for her concern. I also let her know that in the 4 years I've been out she is one of a handful of the congregation who showed any concern for my spiritual welfare. She was a bit taken aback with that. LOL

    Take a deep breath sista and go soak in a hot tub, have some wine and forget about it after all for us we have lots of tomorrows to look forward to. Surround yourself with love, kindness and understanding you deserve it hun!

    BTW how did this all get posted under "entertainment." Was that my doing?

    LOL I thought the same thing! I was expecting to be entertained here, what happened!!!! LOL I'll move the thread to Friends because I think you need more replies and hugs!

    Kate

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