A knock on my door- and I'm still shaking

by cyber-sista 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Today's daily reading provided all the reasons why a person might leave the society. Weeds. Spiritual pursuits choked out by "worldlly concerns". Then my honey had the gall to suggest that is the problem that JWD posters have.

    I politely advised him there are several reasons why people leave. They may have spoken too loudly about an injustice and have not been appropriately "humble" with the elders' response (thereby getting themselves marked, pushed or kicked out), they have received a severe shock and been badly treated, or they have discovered some severe errors in the doctrines of the society, and can no longer, in good conscience, remain with the society.

    Cyber-Sister, this lady did not ask after your welfare because she already "knows it all". She did not want to be confused with the facts. I had a similar reaction when I would unexpectedly run in to my abusive ex-husband. I would bolt and run for the nearest exit. How did I deal with it? I got better at avoiding him. Now, twenty years later, he would not even cause a hiccup in my heartbeat.

  • GermanXJW
    GermanXJW

    Your reaction is explainable. She used some trigger words that just put you into your old environment.

    I know exactly how you feel.

    Somehow.

    ((())))

  • Cicatrix
    Cicatrix

    {{{Cybersista}}}
    Isn't it almost surreal to view service from "the other side" now?

    I had an experience similar to yours this spring. According to some folks on this board, even if you are DFd or DAd, you may get visited by the elders at least once a year to see if you've had a change of mind. With me, I got a visit from not only the elders, but the pioneer sister who used to be my very close friend.

    It gets better with time.I don't find myself shaking in my boots every time I see them out in public now. You handled it really well.

  • cyber-sista
    cyber-sista

    Thanks everyone...Stangely day 2 and I am still drifting in and out of a strange state of mind. I am really tired but when I lay down with my eyes closed I have these weird little JW nightmare like flashbacks. My God, the suggestion by the sister of me even going to the assembly--aaahhhhh The thought of sitting there for hours and hours with that garbage droning on an on is torture to me. So was I brainwashed--some don't think so, but if not, why am I still so twisted up coming out of this Org?

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