What Is The Most Ridiculous Thing You Have Heard From A Witness?

by minimus 133 Replies latest jw friends

  • just fine
    just fine

    I think the Awake article on ET is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. Seriously? How was I ever a part of this religion?!?!?

  • skin

    The latest stupid comment I heard last week was: "If we ever find yourself arguing with Jehovah, then you know you have already lost".

  • SummerAngel

    So many where to start;

    Wasn't there some fan stories about smurf toys coming alive at Assembly's and running off because they were demonized.? I remember a thread or 2 on that.

    My mother now mid 70s as a child was told her mother darnt buy a new winter coat because armegedon would be here.

    As a 7 year old being told I couldn't do/ have the following a key on a string round my neck ( yep we were latch key kids) or a skirt with a split because people might think I wasa prostitute. Also ankle bracelets were what the temple prostitutes wore so we couldn't have them. There was and probably still is a very unhealthy obsession of things sexual and openly discussing around kids.

    Telling your kids about Santa is lying to them and will damage them forever when they find out you've been lying.

    Demons can exist in any second hand item, dad having to take an antique table to the tip because mum was convinced it was possessed as she felt 'odd' around it.

  • zeb

    An elder who saw a group of Clergy men leaving a restaurant laughing because he knew they had been planning what they were going to do to us.

    This same fanatic would discuss the tortures that were going to be used. I was new and it would distress me terribly as I had little ones at the time.

    He was later found to be a child sex abuser.

  • punkofnice

    Sister seemed stoned but wasn't, "We shouldn't watch magic tricks because of the word 'magic' in them."

    Also, Brother Surly B'Stard, "You should listen to me because I'm the Elder."

  • ttdtt

    One MS brother (really nice guy) made a comment at a Watchtower dealing with how science knows so little (AKA we don't believe in evolution or the big bang) - that "The Stars May Be Angels."

    Watchtower conductor responded - "good point" and moved on.

    I was so embarrassed to be a JW that day

  • ttdtt

    One CO during the meeting with the elders said -- that if you travel for work and when you walk into your hotel room, Porn is playing on the TV, you should rip the chord out of the back of the TV, because that's why Hotels have maintenance crews.

    So much wrong with that - I wanted to speak out but just keep quiet:)
    I want to know what hotel chain he stays at though :)

  • SummerAngel

    Gatherings of more than 2 are a party and therefore banned.

    dressing your son in bright colours like red will turn him gay

    twickenham assembly 1974 ‘brothers and sisters next Autumn amegedon will be upon us’

    i have also been accused of being ‘demonised’ for disagreeing with my brother who then attempted to break my arm.

    oh and the perenial favourite subliminal messages from the devil on records if you play them backwards

  • Searril

    The big thing when I was growing up was all the demon stories. One I distinctly recall is my mother telling me how another couple at the hall had some items in their attic that had gotten demon possessed. So they took the aforementioned items outside to burn them, but the demons were preventing the items from burning (items made from wood, cardboard, paper, clothing, etc). They even doused all the items with gasoline and yet the demons prevented them all from ever catching flame. Eventually they hauled the items away to a dump since they were permanently demonically inflammable.

    Of course, my mother conveniently remembers nothing of the story now and swears she never said it.

    My grandmother told me a story as a kid about this doll she had bought at a garage sale. She noticed how the perfectly fixed eyes would follow her as she walked past it so she knew it was demon-possessed. The first night she took it out to the laundry room, but during the night it got up and walked into the dining room. The next day she took it out to the detached garage (being about 50 feet away from the house) but during the night it got up and came back in the house. Finally it was trash pick-up day so she put it out to the curb when the guys were picking up so it never came back.

    I have no doubt that she would conveniently not remember, and deny, this story if she were alive today to ask.

    This is but two of the many demon stories I heard as a kid. There were plenty more. Big shock that I was so terrified of demons getting me in bed when I was a kid. Nighttime uneasiness followed me well into my 30s and even to this day I sometimes find myself getting nervous just going downstairs to the living room in the dark as a grown man. It's embarrassing to say it, and I've actually never told anyone about it before, but this stuff from when you are a kid really can stick with you.

    Side note: Reading that story about ET really brings back the memories of how badly I loathed this religion. I swear this stupid cult can take any teeny tiny bit of fun and crap all over it.

  • ttdtt

    The demon stories are always great!

    One Sister told about how in their house one night all the kitchen cabinet doors started opening and closing.
    There was some demon posses item in the house (Garage sale of course). And how FRIGHTENED THEY ALL WERE! And how powerful demons are.

    But the funny part (which shows it was of course BS) THEY NEVER LEFT THE HOUSE.

    If that happened to me - I would have run out and never gone back.

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