The Elders are Coming Help!

by LaurenM 46 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  elderINewton

  If you have been to the Hall it's likely something in your introduction letter that they following up on.

  If you haven't been to the Hall it's the introduction letter is making then check up on you.

  It's pretty standard for them to follow.

  If you want toavoid them just say "it is nice to hear from you but at this time I'm seeking personal assistance dealing with a traumatic issue and need to deal with that first. Until that is dealt with is best that I keep my distance to avoid further trauma that might result in more expensive treatments.

  That line is long but it works.If they dig tell them you can't say anything without legal present
• 

  Oubliette

  The elders only have the authority over you which you give them.
  

  You might appreciate this thread by 00DAD:

  • Relationship Issues: Boundaries, Freedom of Choice and Codependency
• 

  JWdaughter

  Hey! I need to cancel

  Why?

  I realized that life is too short to hang around negative influences.
• 

  blondie

  Moving does not get you off the radar if

  1) your family calls ahead to your new congregation and asks them to check up on you

  2) the BOE in your old congregation sends a letter to the new congregation with your publisher card.

  Don't talk long, especially if you have told them you have their numbers and you will call if you need their assistance. If they keep calling, they are being rude and abusive. Imagine someone ringing your doorbell incessantly expecting to be let in. Where's the real caring in that? I have caller-ID and I filter my calls as much as possible or let it ring to messaging. Be polite and brief, don't explain.

  Blondie
• 

  The Searcher

  LaurenM, do not start offering any kind of excuses to these men, because that only shows weakness and fear. Instead, draw a line in the sand which they cannot cross! You lay down the rules to them.

  Using this approach, call them and cancel the "visit."

  Do not subject yourself to any kind of interrogation by these little power-freaks.

  By taking this action, you won't start going "down the hill" in the photo.

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/428170001/fading-beginners-guide

  Let us know how you get on. Best wishes.
• 

  punkofnice

  These people only have as much authority as you allow them to have over you. It's your life, how dare they presume to infiltrate it and bully you in the name of a corrupt corporation? You wouldn't let Walmart bully you like this, why let this business bully you? That probably sounds harsh and isn't meant to....just saying. Of course I don't know your situation..you may have good reason to try to keep the peace.
• 

  stuckinarut2

  Exactly as searcher said.... Do not start offering reasons or being on the defensive.

  Keep your dignity, stay calm, and simply say "thanks for the offer, but that's not convenient. Have a great day. Goodbye"

  Keep it simple, polite, but calmly firm.

  Draw that line in the sand...and DO NOT allow yourself to go over it....
• 

  Londo111

  Is the circuit overseer coming soon?
• 

  Clambake

  The biggest busy body in our hall is a pioneering elder who runs his own cleaning service. The funny thing I don’t actually know if he has any contracts. I am pretty sure he would starve to death if it wasn’t for his wife. I don’t even think he makes 10,000 dollars a year.

  I think my wife has somewhat woken up to the stupidity of how some of these people live. Nearly 50 years old, still renting, no children, no retirement savings.

  It is really easy to always be in everyone’s shit when you absolutely nothing else going on in your life.
• 

  Beth Sarim

  Moving will definitely not get you off the radar. In fact, when you move to a new congregation and the eldubs realize you're not attending many meetings if any, they will get even more paranoid and pick-up the pace and try to talk to you more by phone calls, drop in visits,etc....

  Moreover, if the eldubs do corner you somehow with a visit, just be as agreeable and non-committal as possible. This confuses them and they won't have much to work with against you. Like I always say, fading takes years, and years, and years to do successfully.