Fading as one of J.W.'s can be severely nerve-wracking and traumatic for many, but it needn't be so. The key to a successful fade requires that the fader never forgets these two most important points;
1) Neither the elders nor anyone else within the Org can demand that you explain yourself to them.
2) Never - never ever, give any J.W. information which can be used to label you as an apostate.
Easier said than done you might say, but once you realize and accept #1 as a fact, #2 becomes so much easier to apply.
Since we are aware of the tactics/speech which will be used to interrogate/trap a fader, we must prepare our "Conversation Stoppers" to deal with their prepared strategies/snares.
To accept #1, just ask yourself if any elder has the authority to order you to have a talk with him. End of........
Putting #2 into action requires that you choose the wording of your responses very carefully, because the wolves will pick up the scent of a) your fear, b) your confident attitude, or c) your rebelliousness.
When confronted by elder/elders who wish to come and see you on a shepherding call, in order to encourage you and to discuss your lack of meeting attendance/field service, you should present a submissive and obedient tone of voice when you respond.
Example: "Thank you brother/s for thinking about me, but I have very personal & private things which I can only talk about in prayer to Jehovah. I really appreciate your motives for wishing to come and see me, but honestly, I can't discuss anything with you at the moment. Thank you for your offer, and if things change, I will let you know."
You are not refusing to speak to them and listen to their "loving guidance", you're simply unable to talk right now!
If they dismiss your polite reply and tell you that they can't help you unless you talk to them, rinse & repeat - "honestly, I can't discuss anything with you at the moment. Thank you for your offer - if things change I will let you know."
Do not be suckered into answering any questions. Stick to your firm but tactful response, and give them nothing. Don't take that first step!