Playing The Hand You Are Dealt (page 2)

jst2laws

Hello Runningman,
If we like ourselves, then part of what we like came from them. If we don't like ourselves, well, like they say, today is the first day of the rest of your life. Fix it.

That is a key thought. I'm sure many do not like themselves and therefore it is the WT's fault they are what they are. But if we get on with life and do as you say "fix it" the past can be enriching instead of devastating. This process has little chance if we mope in hopelessness blaming the corporation for ruining us.

Simon,

Life is a rollercoaster - you aim to enjoy the ride and not get to anywhere in particular

Now that is a good one.

Steve

jst2laws

Valis,

...It is a great thing that we have this place and other websites to help make the ride smoother.

Dito that,

Blondie

It's only too late when you're dead.--Malcolm Forbes

And We're Not Dead Yet. Thanks for the quote Blondie. Actually my phrase "I'm not dead yet" is borrowed from "Search for the Holy Grail" preceded by "Bring out your dead".

Special K

Yes, we have healed well. But it started some time ago before we were finally DF'd. It takes time for anyone to de-program, settle on a new belief system and get used to the lack of certainty that the WT offered, fraudulently. You sound well adjusted yourself. Enjoyed your thoughts

Steve

hillary_step

Steve,

What a powerful post.

My wife and I view our many years as JW?s as having bought us many good things and many bad things, and actually this mimics many other human experiences that we all have in common. Sure I could have been the world's best Jazz guitarist and been signing Pat Metheny's autograph book for him, I may also have committed suicide at the lack of sales of my records...lol

Like being shipwrecked on a remote island, those that survive learn quickly how to utilize what is washed up the beach and get on with their lives. Those that shrink and die, sit on the beach, staring at sea and wondering of what might have been.

I am often amused at the ire that many twenty-five year old XJW?s show and continue to have when they exit the organization, as they still have the whole of their lives ahead of them. People of our generation are nearing the time when our ?face is on the run and our bodies are almost done? and have spent most of our lives attached to a foolish dream, yet despite this, or perhaps because of it we see the need to live for today and not waste one minute concerned with what we cannot change. We were lied to, deceived and taken advantage of but we cannot fight yesterday?s battles today.

Thank for a though-provoking post - HS

willyloman

Steve:

This is a wonderful post and expresses my own thoughts on the matter as a guy way in his 50s who sat on the edge of a lake in 1990 and wondered why the hell he was doing this and is only now doing the fade.

Many thoughtful replies have appeared here and I just want to second the emotion.

A friend once told me: There is always another opportunity coming; you just have to have the courage of your convictions. That courage is sometimes slow in coming, but the important thing is that it you act on it when it comes.

jst2laws

Lady Lee,

Amac,

Now that I'm a parent I know for a fact that I will screw up somehow in my parenting and can only appreciate that my parents tried their best and I just have to deal with my screwed up childhood and make the best of it.

Amen to that. Well stated. And admit that to your children often, so when they are grown up they will be much more apt to say the same about their upbringing and try to do just a little better.

AnnOMaly,

I have not welcomed you to the board. Glad to have you hear along with so many other new posters.

it's destructive to hang onto regret and bitterness.

I must admit I'm a little surprised to see so much agreement. When I was new here just to use the word "bitterness" got a poster worked over. But it is an emotion we have to work through in the early stages. Part of the reason I started this thread was in hopes it might help those who may be stuck in that stage. Thanks for your contribution.

Steve

Blueblades

Hi Jst2laws! I agree with what you have posted.For some it will take a longer than others to move on.What is done is done,the emotional scars remain.My boys who are now married men to non-jw's beautiful women are doing fine.Our boys tell us that we did what we thought was best for the family at the time.They say that in a sense it molded them to be able to see God, Jesus, religion,the Bible in a way they feel that they would not of known otherwise.,and remain open-minded on these issues.

They do not hold anything against their parents,rather ,they have told us that thay love us very much and are living their lives as they wish it to be,happily married and unattached to any controlling organization.Both are doing well in the secular field along with their wives.

We are so happy that our guys are well balanced and have not been hurt or harmed emotionally beyond repair.This has made it easier for my wife and I to move on also doing the slow fade, as we still are near Bethel and are considered inactive.The boys have moved away and we will soon.

Thanks for posting this topic,"Playing The Hand You Are Dealt".Some do this and others simply can't.

Blueblades

Btw,The boys were raised in jw religion and have joined no other,for over 30 yrs.

Blueblades

ballistic

Steve, when I met you as "big" Brian at the first BBQ last year, I asked you specifically about how you came to terms with leaving the truth when you did, and you gave the perfect answer just as you do now. And that is such a source of stregnth to others however young or old, and that helps their healing process also. I suppose I started very young with the "what if's?"; my father also died without blood.

To be greatful for every day and to be sure that what we are today is more than the sum of our lives.

jst2laws

Anglise

Now having learnt to see the TRUTH about the JW teachings those of us who have left have taken on a terminal life.

Very interesting thought. In my post to Special K I mentioned the loss of "certainty" we experience in leaving the WT. We thought we understood everything from the fall of mankind to the only hope for the future. The paradise was a "certainty", our making it there was up to us. We thought we had "life everlasting" almost assured. Loosing that is rather like accepting a 'terminal life' as you say.

Personally I have only lost the CERTAINTY. I still have a hope. But that is another topic. Thanks for your input.

HS

Excellent post, as usual.

our ?face is on the run and our bodies are almost done? and have spent most of our lives attached to a foolish dream, yet despite this, or perhaps because of it we see the need to live for today and not waste one minute concerned with what we cannot change.

WOW! Just 'Being'

Steve

stillajwexelder

powerful post -- thanks -- I am sure it will help me in the future

Playing The Hand You Are Dealt

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