So.. positives: Appreciating this person, and finding that moments where we disagree give us the opportunity to affirm our commitment to each other. We've learned a lot in patience and listening. We know how to go out of the way for each other. We complement each other, and this on every level. We are, but are not, like each other. Working out "love" in our daily life has good as well as hard moments, but all of them worthwhile!
I can get irritated by my husband's idiosyncrasies, but I'm getting better at re-framing them as opportunities to quit being so dang self-centered. But that is a challenge, not a negative thing. So, all in all, I HONESTLY can't find a negative thing about marriage that isn't really an outgrowth of my own self-obsession. Marriage is a great discipliine, but a verrrrrry good one to have.
Comment:
As for us, we travel to other countries and continents, we buy each other gifts, and have plenty of time to spend doting on each other. Kids change that, and you have to be really ready for that kind of garbage.
Dear Ash, you clearly speak without understanding about how love for a child can be as great (or sometimes greater) than love for a spouse or b/f or g/f.. (This love is not guaranteed, of course, considering dead-beat dads and pedophiles, etc.) Parents constantly discover, to their immense surprise, that love for their children will compel them to do things they would never have considered doing for even themselves, if their kid is in trouble. ...Also... like dating, a parent will take their kids to zoos and Disneyland, buy them gifts and toys of every sort, and wish they had more time to spend doting on their kids. "Kids change that" by enlarging the focus of your love, and it ain't garbage.
...I, too, was clueless about this point until I had a child. But it is still good advice, I think, to wait a while before having a child, if possible, so that a couple can get prepared emotionally for the change.
bebu and 2 cents