SINGLE or MARRIED : What do you LIKE and DISLIKE

by frenchbabyface 87 Replies latest jw friends

  • Happythoughts
    Happythoughts

    SINGLE- 30`s I've been single for almost 3 years now. I was with my ex-husband for 10 years. What I like about my situation is that I am no longer owned by someone. LOL I don't have to answer to anyone! BUT to be honest it is not all that great being single. Single mother, work a full time job and have little time to myself or just plain adult time with friends. I miss what I have never had and that's love. I don't feel I have completely healed from my previous relationship.... Hey, I do date a little, but I think at present I am a little reserved.

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface


    and Dansk your story is

    Stacy : Sure a relationship could grow to the point where I don't want to be apart (1). But the kids. I won't have them (2) . I wouldn't make a good mother and I know I wouldn't and I don't like kids that much to begin with. At some point in time I will have surgery to assure myself of this (3). Most likely after I've turned 25 or so.

    (1) Yeah ... you never know
    (2) Well I understand but I've met some woman who was thinking like you and at 40 are now just sorry for themself SO you should forget about (3) just take care - enough ways to make sure of that !!!

    Having a kid is a freaking crazy responsability ... I know lots of "supposed good mothers" who don't give a shit about really loving their kids (in fact they are perfect HOUSEWIFES not MOTHERS) But IF you are able to understand and really love your kid ... HE WILL NEVER BE A PROBLEM ... NEVER (cause he will understand you ... when you are tired, when you are sad, when ... Wathever, you even can fail ... He will still love and understand you) KIDS are TRUE GOLD !

  • arrowstar
    arrowstar

    Well now...let's see.

    Every marriage I've had as failed so I'm not real big on the marriage thing. I think people can bring something to each other without standing before someone who says "you want her? you've got her. she's yours. signed, sealed, delivered."

    Single? I can be who I am without having to compromise a damn thing. Yeah...there are times when it's a little tiresome but overall....for me...right now...it's better.

    It's all really very very complicated.

    Lisa

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface

    HappyThoughts : YOUR WONDERFULL !!! (some guys are missing something HERE)
    Don't worrie, be confidente.
    And yes being with someone doesn't mean being loved ... (NO) that's why I rather be alone (he is here when I need him fine and I'll be there when he'll need me)

  • ESTEE
    ESTEE

    I love being single. Even if I'm in a relationship with a guy, I still want to stay single ... for a looooong time.

    I love meeting new people in the dance world. I love flirting. Most men have trouble letting me do that. They want to control my emotions. If I'm in a relationship with them, they get all possessive on me .. like they suddenly own me. I don't like feeling owned, like some dang possession. I'm a free woman ... dang it!

    I know I will meet a man who will be a nice fit with me. Then I'll maybe feel like settling down ... some day. It will be a situation where the man will love dancing as much as I ... and we will always dance together socially ... as well as take lessons together.

    ESTEE

  • tinkerbell82
    tinkerbell82

    i'm on the fast thankful track to singlehood and i for one am ecstatic.

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    There are many things about being single that I enjoy... the freedom for one and the ease of making plans... but at the same time I do get very lonely at times. I'm a romantic with no one to romance.

    Good luck Tink! Sometimes a "break" from relationships can do a person a lot of good!

  • Mindchild
    Mindchild

    Professional single dude here

    The upside of single life as I see things...

    1. I have far more in the way of toys when I want them and what I want.

    2. The freedom to travel and explore without a lot of compromise

    3. A wider variety of sexual experiences with different partners

    4. The ability to pursue my interests, and take time off when I want

    5. You can stash away a lot of money when you don't have a family to support.

    The advantages of being in a committed relationship for me would be:

    1. Being able to accomplish a lot more in the way of significant accomplishments with the right partner helping you.

    2. Developing an intimate relationship and reaping the rewards of the love and closeness

    3. Generally speaking, a good marriage adds to your happiness in life

    4. When you have a loving partner, you have someone who gently (ok...kicks you in the ass) pushes you to take care of your health

    5. The quality of your sex life increases dynamically as well as the frequency

    6. It is easier to be passionate about life when you have someone close to you that shares your joy in living.

    7. There are many practical investment and economic strategies that come from being married.

    8. You develop parts of your personality and emotionally grow in a positive relationship

    9. A good relationship helps you survive the s**t storms of life and you have someone else you know and trust to help you make good decisions.

    10. Having somone to touch, to hug, to kiss, to get the occassional back rub is worth its weight in gold.

    11. Your social life improves, not only do you have a new best friend, but you often get to meet his/her friends as well.

    12. My kingdom for a woman that makes good coconut cream pies. hehe

    Overall, while I really enjoyed single life, it is time for a change for me. I'm hoping to met a bright, cool, apostate babe to make happy for a lifetime.

    Skipper

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    Well, I've been married for five years, with no kids. My wife and I married in our late teens.

    I have to say that we've had a wonderful time being married. We give each other the space we need, and we don't harp on each other when times are hard financially.

    We have friends separately and together. It's a great balance.

    I think it's healthy to be married only if you find the right person. The problem is, you really won't know that until you're married and go through some hard times. Sometimes, as in our case, it's worth the risk.

    Big rule of thumb, though. DON'T HAVE KIDS UNTIL YOU SPEND SOME YEARS BEING TOGETHER AS A MARRIED COUPLE.

    Some of our other friends who married had kids right away, and they are miserable.

    As for us, we travel to other countries and continents, we buy each other gifts, and have plenty of time to spend doting on each other. Kids change that, and you have to be really ready for that kind of garbage.

    ash

  • tinkerbell82
    tinkerbell82

    thanks elsewhere :)

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