I will agree with you that JWs have many good points. Personally, I feel that they good does not outweigh the bad. I also feel that you cannot truthfully say that you can be intellectually honest as a JW. If you don't agree with a particular teaching, are you allowed to say so during a WT study? What would happen if you did? Would you teach that false teaching to a bible student? What if you went on a study with another publisher who was teaching that point? What if a CO or elder accompanied you on a study and a point came up that you didn't agree with?
You may say that the light gets brighter, but many of the changes in "understandings" are not refinements. They are outright reversals. Why should I believe that the current understanding is anymore true than the previous one? How many times has the "understanding" of the meaning of "this generation" changed? Are you really teaching "truth"?
You ask why many of us don't just go away. Part of it has to do with how we are treated as ex-JWs. The organization doesn't leave us alone. We are cast as "mentally diseased" and our friends and family are told not to associate with us. Many of us don't even want to discuss religion with our families. We'd just like to have a normal family relationship. Unfortunately, the WT org makes that impossible as there is no way to leave the org and not lose family and/or friends. So comparing us attacking the org to an ex-husband monitoring and attacking his wife is only a proper analogy if the wife was unfairly keeping the kids from her ex-husband and lying to them and to the authorities to keep the kids away. In that case it would be proper for the ex-husband to monitor his wife and use whatever legal means necessary to get his kids back. That is how we feel and why we continue to "attack" the org. The great thing is that the org provides all we need to "attack". Some ex-JWs do exaggerate and make stuff up, but they are in the minority.
Welcome to the forum. I hope you stick around. We like to hear alternate viewpoints. Although some will respond hurtfully, understandably since they've been hurt, most will respond with very good points to consider.