Elder wants to stop by with the CO for a visit .

by NikL 68 Replies latest jw friends

  • jookbeard

    definitely your alarm bells should be ringing, the elder is clearly lying,nothing positive will come out of this visit, there will be loaded questions about your loyalty to the Borg, they must have some suspicions about you and do you know this CO?, one of very last meetings I ever attended was a CO visit shortly after my JC hearing, he cornered me and bombarded my with "loyalty to the organisation" questions, a few months down the line my wife arranged a meeting with the new CO supposedly because he wanted to "encourage" me, I declined, I echo the advice here and inform the "good guy elder" you will contact him if you need any meet ups/encouraging/shepherding call etc, tell him not to call/email/text as well.

  • Sorry

    Based off of the experiences in my own hall, the elder will more likely than not just leave you alone, especially if you're "bad association". A man in our Cong has been inactive for nearly a decade, his wife has periods where she isn't super active and her fs dwindles. Thanks to his wife's blabbermouth and constant complaints about their situation, the family's reputation is in the gutter as far as the local JWs are concerned. Even then, the elders always make a call to the wife whenever her fs slows down. After all this time and the rumors about him, they don't even look his way anymore. They gave up. She complains about that too.

    Nik, if this elder is friendly with you, chances are they are actually there for your wife. Since you haven't done anything, I wouldn't worry about it.

  • BluesBrother

    I am in a similar position to you. If this happened to me I would tell my wife. If she didn't want the visit ( likely in my case) I would take responsibility and decline it. If she wanted to meet, fine .

    I would sit in, let them and her have their chat. If it turned on to me I would just be evasive , say little and avoid pitfalls..

  • kairos

    Make sure to have the Feb 2017 study WT at the ready.
    pg26 Par 12...

    "theocratic conversation stopper"

  • NikL

    So after all this I finally told her.

    I asked if she had ever had a visit from the CO? She said no and I could tell she was kind of nervous about the whole thing.

    Anyway, as it turns out, we are busy on the day in question.

    I think she was actually relieved that we are indisposed on that day.

    I haven't texted the elder back yet. Waiting as long as possible so all available time slots are filled so he can't try to reschedule :-)

    Gonna say something to the effect, "thanks for the thought but we are busy on ___day. Hope you are well."

  • JW GoneBad
    JW GoneBad

    It will turn out to be a waste of your time . If you have already committed and want to cancel...simply text your elder friend and tell him you have a sore throat, the runs and the flu. You will be happy you did!

  • JW GoneBad
    JW GoneBad

    ...what JW GoneBad said! :)

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    What a happy ending!!! Absolutely no good can come of sitting with a C.O. and an elder.

    When I was offered a "shepherding call" by an elder in my new congregation, I told him politely but firmly that I would never sit in a room with just two elders, ever again! I think he spread "the good news", because we've never been approached since.

    Draw the line in the sand for the org's Rottweilers.

  • Darkknight757

    Elders are nothing more than adult playground bullies. Don't let them in as others have said, you're asking for trouble. Heck they may even try giving you a lovely "Return to Hell" brochure. Just shoo them away. They are up to no good.

    My MIL keeps telling me the elders are going to do a shepherding visit on us and IF they do they too will be shoo'ed away.

  • tepidpoultry

    These guys are deceptive as sin,

    My wife told them I wasn't coming anymore and made one of those appointments,

    I figured I'm going to show up and let them in, without saying anything,

    I did,

    To get it over with,

    Not on your life,

    Two others said they wanted to speak to me,

    I said ok but one at a time,

    What do you think they said?

    I was in this cult over 50 years,

    2 together is a trap,

    I had to leave town because of the hounding,

    Listen to Wing Commander,

    They're diabolical,


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