Elder wants to stop by with the CO for a visit .

by NikL 68 Replies latest jw friends

  • stuckinarut2

    So Nik, what are they going to do for your wife who is under stress as you say? Lift a finger to help, or just wheel out some regurgitated scriptures for her?

    They don't have any business involving themselves in your lives, unless they plan on actually helping with something tangible? Monetary costs perhaps?? Thought not...

    Seriously, keep your dignity, but don't enter into anything with them.

  • NikL

    Well, I think I am going to say I think there are others in far more need of a shepherding call than my wife and I. Several are fighting life threatening conditions in our cong.

    I know of a few older single women that are seriously depressed & lonely and would love a nice call.

    Unless my wife WANTS them I'll tactfully decline. If they push the issue then I'll KNOW there is something wrong.

    In that case I'll not so tactfully decline

  • Iamallcool

    I have not read all of the comments here yet. You might want to heed Wing Commander's suggestion and not tell your wife about the text you received from the elder. I hope she will never find out about the elder's text or the shit will hit the fan. LOL.

  • Iamallcool

    Now she knows. Oh well!

  • tepidpoultry

    On this site, there's a recurring recommended line to use to the effect of

    "I'm going through some serious personal problem and I can't talk (on the phone, hang up here), never explain or be "sorry" for anything because they will take control of the conversation and you,

    You will be harassed,

    If you can, do as I did, move away as far as possible the quicker the better,

    If they ever come by here I will immediately threaten them with police to

    remove them and a restraining order to keep them away,

    They seem very nice,

    They are not,

    They are religious fanatics

  • Gorbatchov

    Ask your wife. She can decide for herself, so can you.


  • NikL

    Well, I put the question to my darling and she asked me how I felt about it as I am "head of the household".

    I told her i preferred not to but if she wanted to have them over I would cooperate.

    She said she was "good either way".

    That tells me she doesn't really want to entertain but doesn't want to say it either. :-)

  • Xanthippe

    Good that works in your favour. You seem to have a great relationship by the way, even with the Borg headship nonsense, you work round it with respect for each other.

  • FadeToBlack


    I was in a similar situation. My wife had her mother in our home after a stroke, and it was very tough on her. We did have a few visits from Elders to encourage her. Even a CO (but he was one of the very few good ones). I think your wife is sending strong hints that you decline. Listen to her.

    As others have suggested, just thank them for the interest shown, and let them know that you will get back to them 'soon'.

  • under the radar
    under the radar

    NikL, you hit the nail on the head. Your wife just dropped the mother of all hints that she does not want the elders to drop by but is reluctant to say so directly. She wants to hide by you, her husband and protector. I would consider it a great compliment that she trusts you to "run interference" (an American football term) for her. It would also be an honor to show her that you love her enough to protect her from those religious bullies and take the bullet, as it were. Doing so can pay big dividends for both of you, now and in the future.

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