Things you will never hear a good Jehovah’s Witness say (to another Jehovah’s Witness)

by hoser 55 Replies latest social humour

  • 3rdgen
    3rdgen

    Heard at the meeting for Serve- Us, "THIS is THE WORST LIFE EVER!

  • LevelThePlayingField
    LevelThePlayingField

    JW: How was your morning in service?

    Me: Good. At this one door, I was "boasting in Christ" to this lady. (Phil 3:3)

    JW: What?

    Me: Yeah, "so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified" (2 Thess 1:12)

    JW: But...what about Jehovah??

    Me: "do not become ashamed about the witness about our Lord" (2 Tim 1:8)

    JW: Uhh...

    Me: Yeah, I told that lady, "Rise, get baptized, and wash your sins away by your calling on his name.’ (Acts 22:16)

    JW: Why you preaching your own thing?

    Me:  For I am preaching, not about myself, but about Jesus Christ as Lord (2 Co 4:5)

    JW: But, what about Jehov..-

    Me: (cutting her off) Look, let's change the subject. I heard there was 8 baptized at your assembly. It's nice to see that "many are becoming believers in the Lord" (Acts 9:42)

    JW: You mean they search the scriptures and come to Jehovah's organization!

    Me: Nope. They should have come to Jesus so that they have life. (John 5:40)

    JW: Nope?! You got it all wrong. Romans 10:13 says to call on Jehovah to get saved?!

    Me: tisk, tisk. Acts 8:12 says "there's no other name than JESUS to get saved"

    JW: big eye-roll

    Me: Look here, I'm ready to die for the name of Jesus (Acts 21:13)

    JW: Well, I'll die for Jehovah, so there! (thumbing nose in air)

    Me: Let me cut to the chase. Do you have Christ's spirit? (Romans 8:9)

    JW: what?

    Me: We need the spirit of Jesus (Phil 1:9)

    JW: I belong to Jehovah and his organization!

    Me: I belong to Jesus, he's my master (1 Co 3:23, Col 3:24)

    Me: You're lookin at me funny. Just ask brother elder about what I'm saying. He's "fine soldier of Christ" (2 Tim 2:3)

    JW: (Clearly upset) Look brother, you need to stop all this Jesus stuff. You sound like Christendom.

    Me: (stepping closer) No one can separate me from the love of Christ, it compels me! (Ro 8:35, 2 Co 5:14)

    JW: (Bigger eye-roll) When I got baptized, I decided to get to know Jehovah and his org.

    Me: I decided not to know anything except Jesus. He's the perfector of my faith. (1 Co 2:2, Heb 12:2)

    JW: Jehovah is God!!!!

    Me: Jesus is Lord! (1 Co 12:3)

    JW: But we honor Jehovah more than Jesus

    Me: If you don't honor Jesus to the SAME level as you do Jehovah, then it's like you don't honor God at all.

    JW: (Giving up and starting to walk away) Oh, Jesus...

    Me: That's right.

  • zeb
    zeb

    ............and good luck with that..

  • I Faded Twice
    I Faded Twice

    Boy that Cedars guy sure knows his stuff.

  • My Name is of No Consequence
    My Name is of No Consequence

    "How did kangaroos find their way on to the ark?"

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    "You really have been out in service too much this week. Take some time off and care for your family responsibilities first next week"

  • sparrowdown
    sparrowdown

    "Who do I have to blow to get appointed around here?"

  • sparrowdown
    sparrowdown

    Let's bring back the Egyptian pyramid symbolism it's so hot right now.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    @Sparrowdown---sorry bruv,,but smut replies have been banned by the management.

  • LoveUniHateExams
    LoveUniHateExams

    "Thursday nights are a bit late for kids, aren't they ... sister single parent - why not take Thursday meetings off"

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