Stupidest thing a JW ever told you

by Nosferatu 193 Replies latest jw friends

  • czarofmischief

    The best thing you can do is go to Bethel after high school - it will educate you like a college and without all the worldly ideas like "science", "higher math", and "philosophy."

    Guys raised in the truth will bear me out on this: the pressure to go to bethel was INCREDIBLE, at least in my area. What a fricking joke! In the U.S., at least, it is viewed as the greatest honor...

    But as for actual statements:

    "There are 100 million angels. One third of them became the demons. That leaves 66 million angels. Divided by the (at that time) three million witnesses, there are 22 angels watching over each and every one of us."

    "Talking on the phone with a girl qualifies as a date - and can be considered improper."

    I LOVE the phrase "shooting the pipes."


  • micheal

    Exactly Euph it is a registerd retirement savings plan. So basically if somone at 25 decided to pay $200/mo into it until they were 60 they would be protected financially esp with a government based plan added to this. So MANY said this is a lack of faith in that if one did this then they don't think new system is coming soon. Funny thing is I know a brother who bought into this stupidity and is now 68 yrs old and has to work until the day he dies.

  • Victorian sky
    Victorian sky

    I've got a few. A sister was being beaten by her husband who was in 'good standing' the elders and the congregation were divided over it. Half thought she should be longsuffering and let him continue beating the hell out of her and the other half were like 'leave his sorry ass'. Well I was of the later camp and out in service one day a group of sisters and I got into an argument over the case. I said 'He's put her in the hospital how many times now? Her life is in danger, Jehovah would understand if she left" This pompous pioneer said 'She took a vow and she must stick to her husband, even if he kills her she'll be resurrected for her faithfulness!" Can you imagine? Another dumb thing was when I was doing the fade a sister said to me "Even if you commit murder, don't miss the meetings!" Say what! While I was in college an elder with a high school diploma called all college grads 'Educated idiots' from the platform. Nice, real nice. The top of my dumb list was a sister who told me that I shouldn't be sad about the people who died on 9/11 because now they'll make it into the new system when they're resurrected!' How sick are these people? - Victorian Sky

  • Swan

    That gay people recruit! Is that ever the pot calling the kettle black!


  • smurfette

    Wannaexit- My mom got "counciled" all the time about her rusty car when we were kids and the elders used to say her car brought reproach on Jehovah's org. when it was parked in front of the KH! It had no muffler too and was quite loud too. She wanted to pioneer and they advised her against it until she could get a new car. At the time we were the second poorest family in our county, subsisting on government commodoties, food stamps, and wild game mostly fish. Our welfare check barely covered the cost of housing. The fact that we even had a car was because an elder in a neighboring hall sold her the car for $50 so she could get to the meetings. Talk about "shooting the pipes"! She eventually sold our house and moved into a cabin shack one of the counciling elders owned so she could buy a new car as they had advised.

  • drwtsn32

    You guys... these are all so great! Keep 'em coming!!!

  • Elsewhere

    Victorian Sky, it sounds like your congregation needed to be reminded of the following two scriptures...

    *** Rbi8 Matthew 12:1-8 ***
    At that season Jesus went through the grainfields on the sabbath. His disciples got hungry and started to pluck heads of grain and to eat. 2 At seeing this the Pharisees said to him: "Look! Your disciples are doing what it is not lawful to do on the sabbath." 3 He said to them: "Have YOU not read what David did when he and the men with him got hungry? 4 How he entered into the house of God and they ate the loaves of presentation, something that it was not lawful for him to eat, nor for those with him, but for the priests only? 5 Or, have YOU not read in the Law that on the sabbaths the priests in the temple treat the sabbath as not sacred and continue guiltless? 6 But I tell YOU that something greater than the temple is here. 7 However, if YOU had understood what this means, ‘I want mercy, and not sacrifice,’ YOU would not have condemned the guiltless ones. 8 For Lord of the sabbath is what the Son of man is."


    Rbi8 Matthew 12:10-12 ***So they asked him, "Is it lawful to cure on the sabbath?" that they might get an accusation against him. 11 He said to them: "Who will be the man among YOU that has one sheep and, if this falls into a pit on the sabbath, will not get hold of it and lift it out? 12 All considered, of how much more worth is a man than a sheep! So it is lawful to do a fine thing on the sabbath."

    (That second one could also be applied to the blood issue)

  • Mary
    What's an RRSP, Michael? Is that a Canadian thing? (I'm guessing it has something to do with retirement?)

    You guessed stands for Registered Retirement Savings Plan............what are they called in the States? It doesn't really matter, because none of us will need them.......Arma-gettin will be here looooong before that!

    Another stupid conversation I had with an elder said was this: I mentioned that the first century christians were taught directly by Jesus, and were guided by the Holy Spirit and yet they still fell into "apostasy" within 60 years of Christianity's inception. Yet today, it's been 130 years since Charles Russell found 'the troof', we're not guided by the Holy Spirit, yet no one stops to wonder if perhaps WE haven't fell into apostasy...........the answer I got was that, "we haven't fell into apostasy because we're closer to Armageddon..."

    I kid you not...............

  • tinkerbell82

    someone told me once that jehovah would resurrect the dinosaurs in the new system....

  • Gadget
    someone told me once that jehovah would resurrect the dinosaurs in the new system....

    You mean he hasn't already? I thought that was where he got my local elders from... Gadget

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