I miss my family so much. I thought I was over it but I have breakdowns every few months thinking about my family

by macys 35 Replies latest jw experiences

  • FayeDunaway

    Once you have kids your parents might want to know them anyway. And as a Df'd person, you will have the authority to tell them you do not want them indoctrinated in the cult. If you are reinstated you have to pretend that it's ok, and that would be damaging to them.

    in any case, I've lost my family for the most part too, and I feel your pain :/.

  • ToesUp

    NO ONE should have to loose their family because they don't believe the same things as their family.

    I am sorry you feel so much pain. It is VERY painful. The issue I have with it, is how can your family turn their backs on you? They are to treat you as if you were dead. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but if my family treated me this way, I wouldn't want them back in my life. EVER! It's just not normal.

    I have witnessed a person being DF'd and shunned by their family and as soon as good Ole Mom and Dad are elderly, sick and flat broke the Elders will then seek out the DF'd person for help. WTF is that all about. I'm dead to you until we need you. That is sick!

  • Village Idiot
    Village Idiot

    "Am I doing the right thing or is this the medication speaking?"

    If that is your medication speaking then I suggest you stay on them. That is a rational long term plan that you came up with instead of an off the cuff reaction on your part. However, I agree with ToesUp who said that a family is not worthy of your company if they behave like that. It's a grieving process and there's no easy answer.

  • tornapart
    I saw a post on a friend's facebook page recently that I agreed with, it said :- Never apologise for trusting your intuition. Your brain can play tricks, your heart can be blind, but your gut is always right.
  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    DJ Double N here... this song is going out to Macys!


    It's a two-fer!

    Song 2

    He's rounding second and going for third!

    Song 3

    Folks, I can't believe it! He's heading for home!

    Song 4

  • just fine
    just fine

    You can't change how other people act or what they say. You can only control how you react to their actions. You can never change yourself enough to make someone else happy. Get some help working through your emotions/feelings before you make any decisions.

    In JW world whatever you do, it's never enough.

  • Daniel1555

    Dear Sarah, I can't give you any advice but I feel very much for you.

    Did you try to reach out to your family? Do they really ignore their love for you and are loyal to these evil rules of the org in a strict way?

    You are young, just in the beginning of your adult life. Things in life can change. Also the shunning of your family can change.

    What if you just be especially loving to them and try to reach out to them or try to help them in some ways?

    No matter what happens. You are a very courageous woman, worth to be highly respected and loved. I think your family will eventually realize this. At least they should be proud of you.

    You will also experience a lot of joy and wonderful things in your life, I am sure about that.

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim


    Being disfellowshipped because of an image of merely kissing a girl!!! Wow!!. Then that confirms what others including myself have come to realize or suspect. The elders these days are quicker to disfellowship and slower to reinstate.

    I have it on good authority that elders have these so called all weekend, 2 day elder courses. That is where they are trained and conditioned to enforce even more rigid rules. Like that of quicker to disfellowship and slower to reinstate, without even the rank and file knowing.

  • John Free
    John Free
    Its such a tough call, there are lots of sound comments on here for you to weigh up and I don't think I can add anything. I just wanted to say i have been following your story and it is a moving one, and there are many people on here rooting for you.
  • kairos

    Do not ever go back.

    Not worth it. Make new friends that will treat you like family.

    Chances are, in my opinion, the religion will fold or there will be a mass awakening.
    I firmly believe this. After the lawsuits start piling up and payments are expected it will nearly impossible to keep it quiet. I think it will become too embarrassing to remain a JW in today's world.

    Stand your ground. Changing your beliefs, pretending theirs is true or attending the meetings for the sake of those that treat you cruelly because someone else told them to shun you is not a good enough reason.

    I'm actually quite glad to be rid of these people, now that some time has passed. ( 2.5 years since exit, DF'd since Sept 10th this year )

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