I miss my family so much. I thought I was over it but I have breakdowns every few months thinking about my family

by macys 35 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Clambake


    If those fuckers can lie, so can you. Just tell them the bullshit they want to hear.

    After that, One meeting a month at the most. Come late, leave early and talk to no one. They will figure it out you are just there for family reason. Enroll in college. Meetings are a great time to catch up on your assigned readings. Just make sure you use your Ipad. Also make sure you lie on your field service reports and everyone knows it but can't prove it. Its a great way for the ubers to keep their distance from you.

  • macys
    Hey clambake all good points I am definitely aware of! :) I doubt I will even be there for more than the first or second memorial after I am reinstated. I will simply tell them I have to take care of my sick elderly father (wink wink Geoffry Jackson) and can not stay too long here. But I will put in my time as average time which is what now? 10 hours? Yeah, they deserve nothing but lies. I am still going to college so I will do my homework there.
  • Daniel1555

    You are a very courageous person as you deal with the difficulties leaving this cult and its indoctrination.

    The most important I think is to be true to yourself and live according to your conscience, your deep inner feelings.

    I see that you are looking forward to have children in the future. Being a parent and to lovingly care for a wonderful child is a very important and great blessing.

    Take good care to it, that you create a new life, when you are ready for it and also when your partner is ready for it.

    At that time I recommend you not to compromise on the wellfare of your children. For example if you are reinstated and faded, your parents will expect from you, to bring your children up in the JW way. If you won't do that and for example let your kids celebrate holidays etc. you can expect to be disfellowshipped again, even if you completely faded. Your family members could organize that the local elders will visit you, which would lead to that result.

    And even if they don't df you, you would have constant pressure from your family to conform with JW teachings.

    Only you know how to react in the situation you are in. Listen to your heart but also just think about different scenarios.

    What if you let your family know, that you are a loving person living by conscience and moral principles and happy outside of JW world?

    Then you can build up your own strong family with a loving partner.

    Your parents and family will see and come to respect that you bring up your children with your conscience and moral principles free of the jw rules and indoctrination. Let them know that they are always welcome to have an important part in your and your childrens life.

  • Truthexplorer
    Hi Macy's, I would go with your idea to get reinstated (as hard as that will be) and then slowly fade. DONT give the 7 men at the world headquarters the power to take your family/relatives away from you. You are a young person and not worth the trauma at your young age. once faded, you still have normal contact with your family and there is nothing the elders in your hall can do about it.
  • thankyou


    "Did you try to reach out..?"

    "ignore their love for you and are loyal to these evil rules of the org in a strict way?"

    "What if you just be especially loving to them or try to reach out to them or try to help them in some ways?"

    Hey Daniel1555,

    You sound like a really loving soul and this could work with some folks. But, I have tried this strategy, as a non JW guy attracted to a JWgal. After a short intense "relationship" she has gone "awol" and "appears" to be a heartless, duplicitous JW zombie.

    But, agreed, one must try their best.

  • Oubliette

    Cappytan: do you think your family will shun you again if you fade after reinstatement?

    If they are shunning you now, they will almost certainly shun you then.

    It's a big decision to make and no one should judge you either way. But if you do try and get reinstated, you will have to endure many months, maybe a year or more, of humiliation and it may not change a thing.

    I did it and it was unsuccessful. I was reinstated 2 1/2 years ago and the family I wanted back still shun me. The only thing I took away was their lame excuse.

    Let's review: It's a cult!

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