The urban legends we heard as JWs!

by stuckinarut2 66 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Gorbatchov

    In the Netherlands, in the early 80's:

    - the society trade meps to ibm, obtained an own satellite data chanel;

    - dutch ice producer uses blood for ingredients;

    - demons have jw children in focus, says demons itself;

    - jw art department makes hidden messages;

    - UN plans one world religion;

    - family of the pope are witnesses, pope reads watchtower / pope has bible study;

    - george bush halted his colonne and speaks with witnesses at 9/11;

    - heinrich himmler respected jw's;

    - we can trust the brothers;

    - Armageddon will come before the summer, don't plan a foreign holiday.

    This one i heard last month: the full household of president duerte (mad dog of asia) contains of jw's, the only ones he trust;


  • snare&racket

    All the Smurf stuff is weird, never heard it in the UK despite being the right age for if. Pals in Australia know the myths of them running around the KH causing havoc lol. I imagine it started in USA.

    says a lot though right.....

  • smiddy3

    Elvis Presley takes the Watchtower magazines and was studying .

    Queen Elizabeth accepts the NW Translation of the Bible and was studying .

    A guy bought some object he liked at a second hand store and when he got home after a while he started having Demon attacks when he was told by the Elders it was because of the object he bought from the second hand shop he took it out the front door and through it into a vacant lot across the street .

    Next thing he know`s is that the object bounces back into his house .

    Once the Demons get their claws into you their hard to get rid of.

    As has been said before "you can`t make this shit up " ?

  • stuckinarut2

    Oh keep them coming!

    This is funny!

  • Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
    Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

    @punkofnice: "The made up story of the bloke that didn't want the 'Truth book™' so bunged it out of the bus window. Whereupon, it hit some geezer on the head and knocked him out stone cold. When the bloke woke up, he read the book and became a jobo."

    BAAAAAHAHAHA This one actually made me guffaw. I have an idea! Let's circulate a new urban legend! Listen closely... it goes a little something like this:

    My father's friend from another congregation's Uncle of a District Overseer ALWAYS insisted on carrying his Truth book in his breast pocket. No one knew why he'd stubbornly refuse to remove it. No matter what shirt he was wearing, that Truth book remained firmly in his front pocket. One night while finishing up evening witnessing in a rough neighborhood he suddenly got caught in a drive-by shooting! One of the bullets was aimed right at our dear brother's heart. And MIRACULOUSLY...

    ...he had something to read while he bled to death.

    You can't make this stuff up.

  • snare&racket

    Are there examples of such stories reaching the literature?

    When I was in bethel, a guy invented a story on purpose to mock the obvious absurdity of these stories. He got in trouble for it and 6 months later there was a letter read in the UK about not repeating unofficial stories etc.

    His story went like this.....

    An Australian JW is preaching to a guy on a train in the outback. The guy shows interest and takes a JW leaflet, he doesn’t bother to read it and mid journey throws the tract out of the train window.

    The tract lands in the pouch of a kangaroo. Two days later the kangaroo is captured by an aboriginal hunter who happens across the tract.

    The tribe sit around the fire, enjoying Roo on a stick and read aloud the tract.

    All are converted and became full time outback pioneers.

    This ended up in an email and got passed around. Did it REALLY need clarifying as being a joke!? In JW land.... yes!

  • Vidiot
    " can't make this shit up..."

    Kind of an ironic statement, all things considering... :smirk:

  • mentalclarity

    The hypnotists/gypsies/psychics who are unable to read JWs and cower away from them because they have god's protection.

    Growing up the world war II persecution stories were burned into my memory- the literature that was hidden and not found by soldiers.

    There was a time in the 80's the African persecution stories were popping up - everyone was killed but the JWs type stuff. Or the guerrillas captured everyone but the JWs because they respected them-the usual bs.

    I've heard so many different versions of the "angels" protecting the JWs at the door. They were protected from rapists/alleged murderers/terrorists/the mafia (insert some scary group here).

    And let's not forget the natural disasters ones that come up- every house was damaged but the jws...or the jws who went to their meeting and just then a tornado landed on their house-if they hadn't gone to meeting, they would have been dead...hahaha subtle...very subtle...

  • blownaway

    thousands of stories of items bought at a garage sale or found when moving into an old home and they wont burn or cause supernatural things to happen. funny story and its absolutely true. My Grandmother and Grandfather were special pioneers and he was a CO for several years and a elder for all his adult life. They bought an old farm house near us after stopping CO work and moving to our area. My Grandmother was a person who grew up in the Great Depression. She wasted nothing. She found an old Ouija board, it was made of wood back when they made things well. It folded up and she painted it and used it for a shelf. Never heard of things moving or shadows ect.

  • jookbeard

    they patented the tilt up method of fabricating steel and concrete and numerous "worldly" construction companies bought the patent and still "probably" use it today LOL, Hoser love those ridiculous Smurf legends, they utter obscenities and dance around during the meetings

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