How do you deal with depression?

by BlackWolf 62 Replies latest jw friends

  • jwundubbed

    Actually, even as a child you have more rights then you are led to believe. You could even make an anonymous call to social services in your area and tell them that you feel threatened. I know that seems extreme but you will be eighteen soon and you may be able (forced even) to talk to a counselor who could help you with resources.

    I found this article that deals with your situation. Parents have a legal obligation to support you. Threatening you is not support.

    Read the items under "Homeless" because they list a lot of resources that you might be unaware of. You could even tell your boss that you are worried that you won't have a home soon. They might be able to help you find help in your area.

    You have options and resources. You feel stuck and alone because you have been told that you are stuck and alone.

    My parents did some similar stuff to me when I was younger. I actually asked if I could move out at 17 and they said no and I believed them. I could have had resources if I had just told anyone outside the religion and my family what I was going through. I actually did attempt suicide. I don't advocate it. But it did teach me some valuable lessons. As long as you are alive, things can get better. They don't always get easier because life is hard, but you learn how to deal with stuff and that makes life better.

    Getting exercise, sleep, and a good diet is imperative to getting out of depression. If it's too hot outside, clean your house. Seriously! It is good exercise, it is something small that you can accomplish and feel good about, and it is easier to deal with the stuff going on in your head when your house is clean. It is also a symptom of depression to let cleaning slide which just adds to the pressure of the depression. I don't mean clean the whole house... that can feel overwhelming and then you feel guilty if you can't get it all done. Pick an area and clean it. The area can be small. Then, when you feel ready, pick another area and clean that.

    There is a book you should be able to get from your local library called 'Clearing Your Clutter with Feng Shui'. I know, it sounds flacky. The thing is that it goes into some of the symptoms and behaviors of depression. Not what you would expect from the title! It is a great book and one I keep around for those times when depression is looming above me.

    You can also get access to resources for getting a place on your own at your local library. Getting a plan of action for yourself will help you both practically, and also help you to feel like you have some control which will help to ease the depression. Take a gander at Craigslist in your area, or in the area you want to live in. There are often people letting rooms at low cost. You can get a good situations which will allow you to get out of your parents home while at the same time allow you to save some money and plan for the future. This isn't to say that you need to leave your home right now, but it will help you plan for when the time comes... if worst comes to worst.

    Also, ask your local librarian about community colleges in the area. Community colleges are much easier to get into then bigger colleges and you can easily transfer from one to a bigger university later on. I don't know your situation, but the kids I knew who did home-schooling had a harder time going to college afterwards. Concentrate on getting an education which will help you no matter what you decide to do later in life, or even no matter what the future brings. Going to college can seem daunting and overwhelming, so don't think of it like that. Instead just take a look at what your options are. It doesn't hurt to look. And if your parents don't like it you might consider reminding them that the people who have the best jobs and help out the most at Bethel also have college degrees. The organization has lawyers, all volunteers who went to college against the advice of the organization. All those people doing the advertising and production and acting for the new digital media they do... well that takes an education, one you wont get just by going out in service. There are lots of ways to serve the organization and you should be able to choose a way that you can be happy with. I'm not saying you have to stay in the organization, but that you have options no matter what life choices you make. College gives you even more life choices.

    Also, a few little tricks. Wake up, look in the mirror, smile at yourself, and say, "I deserve to be happy", and then smile again. What makes you happy is up to you. But you do deserve to be happy. This is an affirmation. Say it long enough and you will believe it. Smile when you do it and you might actually feel a little bit happier than you were before you said it. Eat a piece of chocolate (not a whole cake or anything) when you are feeling low. Physiologically chocolate releases chemicals in your brain which tells you that you are feeling 'in love' which is a great feeling, while the act of smiling releases chemicals in your brain that tells you that you are feeling 'happy'. These little tricks won't cure your depression but they will help. Smile before you exercise too. It will help you feel like you are doing the right thing, which you are... but sometimes the right thing for our bodies doesn't actually feel right and good.

  • dubstepped

    If it's too hot to exercise outside, there are lots of exercises you can do indoors. There are so many free videos on youtube of exercises that you can do from home. Pick something you like and do it. It is a great mood enhancer.

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    I haven't read any of the other responses so maybe this has already been suggested but at your age, even though you don't attend public school, as a minor citizen whose parents are paying local taxes, you typically have access to the services your local school system provides and or the services of other local agencies. Google " Catholic Services " they are often free of charge and open to anyone.

    Start by giving your local high school a call and ask to speak to a counselor. Explain your situation and ask him or her to advise you on how to get help. Tell the counselor the things you've told us here. I'm sure if you got your counselors email address and sent the links to the JW shunning video and the one with everyone in the bunker, they'd realize what you're up against.

    Be cautious about all of this so as not to make things worse at home. For the time being even if it takes a bit of searching, you'll have to trust that there is a solution to your problem and the depression you feel will ease up once you are able to take action. Until then don't put too much trust in any of the negative thoughts or hopeless feeling you are having. There are things in life that bother us and need to be addressed but depression is insidious and causes fixable problems to seem totally hopeless. Don't believe it !

  • FlyingHighNow
    Work on looking at the bigger picture. Work on finding perspective. Honestly, chocolate, wild caught salmon and other foods helped me as much as medications ever did. Look into St. John's Wort. Time is going to fly and you're going to able to move out of your parents home and grip. The future really is open wide. Start daydreaming of all the possibilities. And hey, nothing wrong with pretending to be the good kid your parents want you to be, biding your time until you can be free. Remember your decisions make or break your life, day to day and in the future. Make a plan for a great life. Like I said, the future is open wide.
  • FlyingHighNow
    Something HUGE I learned upon leaving and getting years of counseling: anxiety and fear can feel like depression. JW's play on your anxiety and fears. That is why getting perspective is so important. I rarely ever feel depressed now that I've learned to recognize when I am feeling anxiety or fear, then work on getting perspective. You may just be feeling crippling fear, which hurts even physically. There is tons of hope to feel better and better. You will see. How lucky you are to aware of the cult. I was just being hornswoggled by JWs when I was 17. They really helped mess up my life! You are getting out. You're going to have a great life.
  • jamiebowers

    Your parents are breaking the law for not providing medical treatment for your depression and eating disorder. Please call childrens services or whatever county agency deals with abuse and neglect of children.

    Dealing with these two health crises would be difficult for adults in the best of circumstances, but you are young and also being persecuted for your beliefs by the very people who are supposed to care for you. Please don't try to handle this alone. At least see your family doctor, and let him/her know what's going on.

  • BlackWolf

    Thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement. I would go to the doctor but I've realized that taking pills won't solve the underlying issues. I went to an eating disorder clinic 2 years ago and got put on too much prozac, it made me really impulsive and I did some crazy stuff. That's why my parents won't take me to the doctor. I've thought about getting some help again but I know they will just put me on a bunch of pills :(

  • snugglebunny

    I've had several bouts of depression since age 13 and it's not something that I would wish on my worst enemy. It's absolutely awful. Take no notice of those who've never suffered with it and tell you to snap out of it - if you could snap out of it you would have done.

    It will fade in time, but it might take months. I learned coping strategies for when it's really bad. Sitting on the loo actually helps!

    Try to replace those grey morbid thoughts with colourful images, say of flowers or of 50's American cars, anything you like will do. Avoid introspection like the plague. Be careful whom you confide in. Exercise as much as you can. Up your vitamin intake, especially vitamin C. Socialise as much as you're able.

    You'll get there, I'm sure.

  • Worldling9

    Your parents are still required by law to see that you get help. It may not have to be meds. It may be therapy, whether they like it or not. There may be testing that needs to be done. Not getting you the help you need is called neglect. Forcing you to go to meetings is called abuse. Your parents are not doing the right thing by you.

    My advice to you? Make art, make art, and make more art. You can hide words in it that nobody will know about but you. And get outdoors if you can, even if it has to be early or late in the day. Cultivating gratitude is also helpful. Be grateful for the person you are, and for everything you do have. You will never have to get will never have to be a dub, no matter what they're trying to do. You are a of those people who simply must be true to yourself. I'm sorry your parents don't understand that. I get the feeling that you will never be a follower, and that's a very good thing. Prepare yourself in to live without your parents, even if you have to rent a room. Find out what things cost and make a plan. It may take you the year to get your ducks in a row.

    I am a creative too. You can pm me anytime.


  • bafh

    Get a good therapist.

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