May I join in this conversation for a sec? I am going back and forth with "faith" issues and this subject of blaming God is something I am guilty of lately. I realize one of my strongest weaknesses is IMPATIENCE. It's just that I do believe in God and I do know what he is capable of. What I don't understand is why I have to beg him til I'm blue in the face to get any help in my life. For example, I just started a new job. I know for a fact it was his direction for me to take this job. I LOVE IT! It is as if it was custom made just for me. My family and I are constantly struggling with financial issues. We have poor credit and can't get loans for decent vehicles or buy a home. Don't tell me we reap what we sew because of having bad credit either. My credit went to hell when my husband became terminally ill and needed 24 hour care until he passed away. My new husband lost his good credit when he got a divorce and his exwife "took him to the cleaners". What is it God is trying to show me by only giving me a little here and a little there? Does my happiness really matter to him or is he too busy trying to TEACH me something at ALL TIMES just because He wants me to remember my place in all of this. It's not that I think I deserve anything good simply because I try to live a decent life in his eyes. I have never desired to be wealthy. I am a very simple person when it comes to material possessions. I just want to have my dignity and a little class and live COMFORTABLY. Is wanting to be comfortable, wrong? I don't think you have to be rich to have class. The other day I griped at God all the way home because: (picture this in your mind) I just started a new job in a very sophisticated area of town. Every other car is a Jaguar or Porche. Here I am walking out of the building in my business attire and I walk by about 5 people who are standing in the parking lot talking. They watch me get into my beat up car with most of the paint worn off. The muffler is barely hanging on. When I go to open the door the inside panel sticks and pulls loose from the door. When I go to start it up, the belts begin to screech. I was SO HUMILIATED. After I finished "yelling" at him I did stop to thank him for the new job.
I want to feel good about myself as a respectable human being. It is hard to feel confident when you have no money to make things better for yourself. The thing is, I hear people give God credit when they do get nice things. Should I percieve God with the personality Jesus had or is he the same guy who was so jealous and destructive in the Old Testament. Jesus never fit that description that I can recall. Why are such opposite personalities attached to the same God?
JR