How wonderful to exist in relative obscurity!
To The Folks
Click on the blue writing.
I'm not necessarily taking Teejay's side, because he has been pretty hateful to me in the past.
Here's an interesting wrinkle.
Teejay's been pretty hateful to me, too. When he found out I had become a high school English teacher after my teaching fellowship at a prestigious university ended, he tried to make it look like I had been lying to the board about my identity to make myself look better.
Now you're a high school English teacher (a far cry from the professional status of the other one) who can't afford his own home.
Nice dig at my profession and my financial status. He continued to dig at me, even though the topic of my thread was my recent disassociation, which occurred around a very difficult situation with my brother-in-law's poor health (This is the link: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/45876/1.ashx.) After an innocuous edit to one of my posts, in which I injected a joke (complete with smiley face to show it was a joke) to hopefully ease the tension between us, how did Teejay respond? How did he characterize my thread?
Waiting to make your edit that way after first posting what you did was very clever, some might say. Puts your whole 'whoa is me' thread into perspective.
My thread, I repeat, was about my brother-in-law's very serious operation, and the elder's insensitivity to that, and the disfellowshipping of my in-laws, and my subsequent disassociation as a result. Teejay called it "whoa is me" thread. And this was after I had apologized to him for a rude remark I'd made over a year beforehand.
I think teejay does know that I am the same dedalus I was a year and a half ago, so I'm not entirely sure what the point is, except maybe to show that I can be insensitive myself, sometimes.
I still think that Dead Poet's Society is an awful movie about teaching and poetry and, heck, life in general, and I'm still not likely to speak well of any essay that appreciates it . But if it's an apology you want, teejay, I'm sorry. (Note the ambiguous wording of this last sentence. )
If you had been my student back then, I would have responded more encouragingly than I did as a fellow poster. We behave differently online because of the artificiality of this social environment, the anonymity with which we all interact.
In fact, when I edited a post to make that joke about Finding Forrester, he responded:
That you hated the movie comes as no surprise, really ... And to think that I was stoopid enough to even consider sending you a conciliatory email. What a fool I am, eh? God bless second thoughts. Or fate.
Note that, if Teejay had decided to apologize (after I had publicly done so multiple times), he would have done it privately, in email, whereas he had no problem questioning my integrity in public and badgering me when he was shown to be incorrect.
Whatever problem there was between me and Teejay, whatever heat there was for my long-ago rudeness, I've apologized to him. Many months later, I even made that apology quite explicit in another thread.
Honestly, I think I just wanted to have a say in a thread you started because of the bad blood between us. And honestly, I want to call a truce. I'm sorry for insulting your writing all that time ago. Period.
He ignored that apology completely. Meanwhile, Teejay has never apologized for two very serious, confrontational, insulting things he has done to me:
1) Accusing me of misrepresenting myself to the board about my job and social status. Interestingly, he continued doing this after I'd already explained my change of life in the very thread on which he attacked me.
2) Mocking my chosen profession and financial situation.
All of this makes Teejay's current position very interesting. He's very keen on putting down Farkel and others down for insulting posters. Caustic, charismatic personalities upset him greatly. On the other hand, he has no problem being rude, deceitful, and deliberately ignorant of facts when it suits his purpose. I guess because he doesn't use words like "dipfuck" and "idiot," that makes him somehow superior to people like Farkel.
I, for one, don't pretend to have some lofty moral perspective on the "cult of Farkel or AlanF or whomever Teejay doesn't like." I can be rude sometimes, and I like to think I apologize when I should. Teejay, however, is beyond all that.
Alan and all,
Is this the thread to bring up every grievance we've ever had with another person on this forum? I'm sick of watching you all tear each other new ones! I've been called a moron, a forking moron and manipulative by people here. I'm not even gonna say who said these things cause there's no point! It's in the past and that's where it should stay. Yeah, it hurt my feelings but, I'm a grown up and part of being a grown up is that you move on. If you all wanna have a free for all blowout and post ridiculously long posts that quote this, that and the other thing have at it but I just want to say, I'm very disappointed in the lot of you!
If I right here and now called you a ... and a ... and that your momma was a .... would you be offended? And if so, would that be a sign of YOUR LACK OF CONFIDENCE? Please answer. I'd like to see it.
My answer, since you demanded it is this: no, I would not be offended since your opinion of me matters not. To be devastated due to a comment by someone I don't know on a relatively obscure discussion board would display a lack of confidence. I may, however, take issue with any statement which was inaccurate and inform you of the correct information regarding my mother or myself.
He has also grossly insulted Wasasister by twisting her words. She happens to be a good friend to me and my wife, and a strongly independent thinker if there ever was one! Watch her kick his sorry ass.
Thanks, and that illustrates my original point. I happen to hold a few people on this board in high esteem - they have earned my respect by their actions and words, mostly off the board. I have come to know them, and so I understand where they are coming from when they use certain terms. These perceptions are very subjective on my part, based on my knowledge of them. A "cult follower" has no real knowledge of the cult leaders so TeeJay's analogy falls apart.
However, I am not insulted by TeeJay, as I hold him in no particular regard and his opinion of my does not matter at all. I pick my "ass-kickings" more carefully.
Some who are the most righteously indignant over Farkel's name-calling have engaged in rude, insulting, and hurtful behavior themselves. Is it, for example, more harmful to call someone a "moron" in the heat of a debate than to rush in and make hurtful comments about someone's dead husband when they are in pain and grief? In my own view the latter is much worse, but again, that is my judgement. However, if you choose to call down evil upon someone for their insensitive behavior, you'd better make sure you have a clean record in that area. (Prisca and RF are particularly vulnerable and I'm very surprised at their comments.)
I do not "excuse" Farkel's behavior, nor is my excusing required. TeeJay has exhibited a tendency to view himself as an iconoclast on this board. If that is how he finds validation or even entertainment, well....go for it. However he is just plain wrong when he accuses others of being "cult followers" because they respect the works of intelligent posters.
A very solid post as ever. Can I join your cult? Where do you have your meetings? I hope that the Norwegians and AlanF are there as I would like them to see me baptized in Farkel's blood.
Best regards - HS
Well, yeah, I guess I am airing a grievence, with lots of quotes and everything. I don't know if it's "adult" or not for me to do so. My wife would probably think it's all silly. In a way, of course, it is. But, so it goes. This is just one of those threads. Like all the nonsense with homosexuality lately, it just has to happen every once in a while.
[at the risk of disappointing Azzy even further...]
The relevance of your diatribe is elusive, at best. Have I been guilty of making caustic comments? Yes, I have. In nearly every instance where I did so, I have also apologized. For you to state that part of the story would defeat your argument, so I understand why it was omitted.
Like me, you have been known to make a caustic comment or two your own damn self. We all have, in the heat of the moment. That's not what this thread is about. It's about, not an isolated – even meanspirited – comment that is occasionally made, but a pattern of behavior on Farkel's part that has become a part of his, might I say "largely excused" online persona. I doubt you will ever see the distinction, but your lack of vision does not dismiss my argument.
That said, your attempt to demonize me by dredging up an old dispute is regrettable, to say the least. That I ever got to know you by your most condescending words NEARLY TWO YEARS AGO is bad enough. What's worse than your lack of honesty back, though, is your reneging on our agreement to let the matter go.
Honestly, I think I just wanted to have a say in a thread you started because of the bad blood between us. And honestly, I want to call a truce. I'm sorry for insulting your writing all that time ago. Period. -- Dedalus
You also either forgot about, ignored, or never deemed worthy my response to your peaceful overture:
It's bad enough that you went out of your way to make an unkind and condescending remark (as well as misrepresent your position), but now it's clear that you are not a man of your word, either. I know that you and Farkel are buds, but was "defending" him really so worth it to you that you'd risk showing yourself to be a man who is totally without honor?
Damn. Teejay, I did miss this post of yours. I can only say that I honestly looked for it and never saw it back then. But it's my fault.
That makes everything I wrote irrelevant. I'll delete it all if you want.
I hope the feud can be over again. I feel stupid.