Walking a thin line - Resigning Elder

by Sanchy 106 Replies latest jw friends

  • smiddy

    Sanchy ,

    Your wife says the J.W.`s are at least closer to the "truth" than any other religion .

    Close enough is not good enough .

    The Jewish religion was the closest thing to the "truth" for 4000 years but it wasn`t good enough for Jehovah.

    You might be one number off the winning lottery combination , still not good enough, your still a loser.

    Pete Zahut sums it up nicely.


  • patkim

    I finally have the strength and time to write a follow up post about my life and I hope that OP Sancy is still here and reading this. Its been over a month now since my life has forever changed although I still have not officially resigned my position. I spoke to a friend who is currently serving as an elder in NJ whom I have not seen or heard from in a long time and his sentiment was not his usual positive JW self. I felt he wanted to confess in me something as well but neither of us wanted to be the first to admit anything. It was if he knew that I knew that he knew but if one of us was wrong then we could be considered apostate. It was a Mexican standoff. So we continued with small talk. But we both knew that something was not right and that was that since he was the one who called me out of the blue. It was awkward to say the least and our conversation ended with make sure you send our love to the family. I just thought it was worth mentioning here.

    As far as my situation goes I have already skipped 2 Thursdays and I'm not sure if I should submit my time report for the month of Feb as I have no official time to report but was thinking about putting the obligatory 2 hours down to buy some time. My wife seems to be adapting to the situation although she is not happy but she has not mentioned anything in particular and she stayed home with me those days. Our relationship is suffering because she wants me to do more and I don't think it is fair to either of us. I know soon I will need to man up and just tell her everything and that I can no longer do this. I am hoping that eventually she will wake up as well as I plant seeds of truth in her brain. I told her she should read the elders handbook and come to her own conclusion but she actually refused and said it is not right that I even suggest that to her. So we left it at that but I did touch on 2 points in the handbook which are sensitive topics for her and that might be enough for her to become curious. I made photo copies of the book at work as I will need to turn it in once I resign so she can read it in her own time. Thanks.

  • winstonchurchill


    Would it be too much asking what are those two points you want your wife toss in the elder's handbook? I'm in kind of a similar situation.

    Thanks. And all the best!

  • TooManyMuffinEggs
    Welcome to the "the other side" you are leaving at the perfect time. Try to fade gently so you may keep your family and your marriage intact. I got out late and two of my children never speak to me. I was married to a very mean leader and wham we divorced he turned all of my children against me. I will never be quite the same,at times I think depression is my middle name. You will have a good relationship with your kids later on. Big virtual hugs to you. I know this pain. 😰

    And now she has seen the TTATT and is with you hand in hand ! Congrats to you both !


  • babygirl30

    WOW! Such a good post. You should be proud that you stood up for yourself and decided you were not going to be a follower anymore - but a true LEADER in your own right.

    JW org is like a crack-house. As long as everyone IN the house is smoking crack, they are fine...but the minute one person make the decision for themselves (that crack isn't good for them), the whole house begins to turn on them. Forgetting that thinking for oneself, and stopping drugs is healthy...but the gang mentality kicks in for them.

    I feel for you as you do have a long road ahead. But you have the right attitude about it and I wish you the best.

  • Sanchy

    Indeed as Zappa mentioned above,

    I'm proud to announce that my wife has seen the light, only a few months after me.

    Words cannot describe the great relief I feel from knowing that my wife and kids will avoid the particular struggles of belonging to such an organization. There's still a long journey ahead as we fade, especially since all the rest of our family is in, (not to mention the emotional healing we will need) but now, at least, I'm not alone. I trust we can accomplish it together.

    I want to thank you all for the words of encouragement as well as for your tips. They were very incredibly valuable in helping me deal "gently" with her.

    She has gone ahead and posted an introduction thread, in which she explains what helped and didn't help in her journey; perhaps some of you still dealing with a spouse might benefit from reading it. You'll find the thread here: LINK CLICK HERE

  • OnTheWayOut

    I saw this thread and had to click, hoping for a new update.

    Sanchy is still posting. So whazzup with your family?

  • TimeBandit

    Hey there Sanchy. I have said before that there were elders I've known were true blue good people. In my own experience, they were a rare breed. I have nothing but respect for you and those like you.

    Please accept my warm hello, and keep us posted with how things are going.


  • EdenOne

    Welcome! Your experience resonates with what was my experience. In the end, I managed to leave, together with my wife and son. Be patient with your wife and don't give up on her. Everyone is different, but there's hope. Keep posting!


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