Walking a thin line - Resigning Elder

by Sanchy 106 Replies latest jw friends

  • MarkofCane

    She kept defending the org claiming that it's "not perfect, but closer than any other religion" so there's that, ... but, at least she's listening.

    Sounds like my wife, when we get to this point my only option is to dismantle Jw's doctrine then I come off as an apostate and then she shuts down completely. So I know when to stop but leave her with plenty to think about. She know I'm not buying that argument but the only way to expose that fallacy is to unravel it form the inside out. Wont work, slow down and win her over with integrity, the man she knows you are.She will see you haven't been deceived by apostate propaganda against the/her "truth", but that you have uncovered deceit and dishonesty buy and man made origination.

    Remember this is all she knows, all the people she trust and feel affection for, was raised in the truth parents zealous in the truth. ( I use the word "truth" for the purpose of this discussion only) The Watchtower are masters at building walls to protect us from the world, remember the roaring lion, well perhaps in her mind you have become it prey. This is my situation, with my wife. There are thing she agrees with but she cant phantom that its all a lie, "Why would they lie? What would they gain from it? God will punish them, so why would they do it?" I look at things from a purely analytical mindset she see's things from a emotional mindset, its just how we are wired. Taking this into consideration, I don't expect her to arrive at the same conclusion with the same evidence. So I backed off from the doctrine discussions when the pedophile ARC stuff came out it floored her, absolutely devastated her, without me saying anything. She couldn't believe that Gods organization would side with the abuser and silence the (lamb) victim, so she said to me with tears in her eyes "where is god in all of this". Its was rhetorical so I offered nothing but she answered her own question. Just wanted to share a slice of my experience in all this, it really is a crazy cult.

    Iceman indeed, " you will be measured by the same standard you measured with". Bonsai said it better then I will, so I will leave it at that.

  • MarkofCane

    Main reason for me posting this morning was to welcome Sanchy and I went off on a tangent. Big Welcome to you Sanchy and all the newbies here.

  • TheListener

    Stop the tangents MoC!! No one wants to see that here!


    MoK, all kidding aside I know exactly what you mean about discussions with your wife. When I would show my wife something she would tell me it was damaging her faith - I would ask 'faith in the bible or faith in the organization'? She wouldn't answer that which told me what I needed to know. Keep up the good work.

  • Landy

    There's some good advice on this thread but there's some strange advice as well.

    10-15 year plan to get out! Fuck that. You have a life to be getting on with.

    When all comes to all you just stop doing what you don't want to do anymore. It really is simple. Good luck!

  • NeverKnew

    Congratulations on getting the courage to come to acceptance.

    I'll be praying for you and your family.

  • RichardHaley
    Elders are still in process of sending my details to CO and branch, awaiting their approval for my resignation
    This actually cracks me up... I was also told this by the "body" but I had preempted this by sending my resignation to the CO first. Like it or not, I/you have redesigned! There is nothing for them to approve. It takes years to flush watchtarded thinking from your mine.
  • problemaddict 2
    problemaddict 2


    Your story reads like my own. I mean REALLY reads like my own. It took me years to finally leave (I'm in my later 30's), but having a young child really made me think differently about what I was taught. Something about your early 30's seems to spark introspection and the ability to "think for yourself". Its almost like you develop a real understanding of integrity when you consider your children.

    My wife was a pioneer for 17 years (since she was 13), need greater, daughter of missionaries and branch overseers. She was on assemblies, conventions, etc... She is now out. If she can be out, anyone can. I really believe that.

    PM me if you ever want to talk.

  • Giordano

    I first read the True Believer when I was 16 the author Eric Hoffer

      was an American writer on social and political philosophy. His first book, The True Believer: Thoughts On The Nature Of Mass Movements (1951) is widely recognized as a classic on mass-movements and the psychological roots of fanaticism.

      The book had a profound effect on me that took a while to germinate cause I pioneered after HS and upped the ante by pioneering where the need was great. I kept a dog eared copy of it unlined far more then any old Wt I had ever read.
      The funny thing was that he never mentioned the JW's or the Society but what he said fit them to a tee.

      Here are two quotes: An active mass movement rejects the present and centers it's interest on the future. It is from this attitude that it derives it's strength, for it can proceed recklessly with the present...with the health, wealth and lives of it's followers. But it must act as if it has already read the book of the future to the last word. Its doctrine is proclaimed as a key to that book.

      The effectiveness of a doctrine does not come from its meaning but from its certitude. No doctrine however profound and sublime will be effective unless it is presented as the embodiment of the one and only truth. It must be the one word from which all things are and all things speak.

  • Acts5v29

    Good morning Sanchy,

    It takes someone very, very brave to admit that they've been wrong in something - very brave. There will be those who harden their faces at you, but that is a difficult heart to maintain without questioning within themselves - especially when someone is so clearly sincere, and clearly loving in his manner.

    I think you will be held in high esteem - perhaps silently, for a while - but very much admired!

    SIncere best wishes, sincere love to you and yours,


  • mrquik
    You'll gain more ground with the wife if you believe " not everything taught was a lie". There, most likely, are a number of doctrinal points you can both agree on. Start with those. You need a common ground to start with.

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