Walking a thin line - Resigning Elder

by Sanchy 106 Replies latest jw friends

  • TheListener

    Sanchy welcome! Your situation is so similar to mine a few years ago, especially this part:

    I know my wife will cut off "spiritual conversations" with me and so also will be gone my chances at trying to open her eyes. With my second child on the way, my wife has told me that if I am to leave the truth, she will teach it to them, regardless of my spiritual position. She also told me that I've made her life so much more difficult now, as she married me, knowing that I was a spiritual man; she never thought she would have to deal with this. Needless to say, this breaks my heart. I love her very much, and do not want to cause her, or anyone else pain.

    My wife and I are still together and mostly doing well, we have the same problems other married couples have, but I know she's very unhappy I'm not the spiritual man she married; all my kids are out of the witnesses. My wife took them to meetings for years without me and taught them to be witnesses. I worked my tail off to teach them to be good, honesty and kind people who are not witnesses. My effort and the goofy doctrine of the witnesses and what my kids consider "weird and creepy" videos turned them off the witnesses.

    Good luck Sanchy!

  • Hadriel

    Was in your identical shoes just a few months ago with my spouse. I can tell you what worked for me.

    I agree with @Juandefiero some of the deeper things which may seem clear to one, if no 607, there's no 1914 or 1919, don't always resonate with another.

    What I did was say here are five things I cannot reconcile. Can you help me with these? If I'm wrong in my understanding or feelings I'll repent immediately.

    When you put it in those terms the other party is compelled to sort the issue out. When they can't they have to choose do I lie to myself because this is all I know or do I accept the truth of the matter.

    It is quite powerful in my opinion.

    I feel for you though. I was right smack dab in your position. I wish you all the best brother.

  • brandnew
    Welcome Sanchy
  • BluesBrother

    Hi ,, Your situation so much mirrors mine a few years ago, except you are younger.

    I love your attitude & concern for your wife, it is indeed a hard time for her. She,no doubt, fears that you will slip into the stereotype of a "worldly man" and be somebody with bad habits.

    Freddo's post was superb. Just keep on being low profile but quietly determined and let things go there way. In your situation the last thing you want is to be d/f'd or d/a'd .

    Hang in there , it is hard but it gets better in time, believe me.

  • TheListener
    Sanchy, can you tell us what the congregation members have been saying about the GB videos and songs and other new stuff? Have you ever heard or had discussions on the overlapping generation teaching? I always love to hear firsthand news of congregation members thoughts about things.
  • pixel
    Hi and welcome. We are almost on the same path.
  • Hadriel

    Just read Freddo's post. @BluesBrother is right that is a very good way to approach it.

    I would stress along the lines of Freddo's advice, go slow and always ask questions of your wife as you subtly try to wake her.

    Don't push or say "see this is what I found". She'll see you're visible concerned about things. When she asks. Say things like, "I'm really concerned about x. Is my thinking out of line? Because this is what I'm finding? How can this be?

    Always in a question form like you're trying to resolve the issue in the way she would expect. It quietly puts the onus on her to answer the question.

  • Londo111
    Welcome, Sanchy!
  • jhine
    Hello Sanchy and welcome . Jan
  • Marvin Shilmer
    Marvin Shilmer
    I know exactly how you feel. My best wishes are for you and your family. The best piece of advice I could probably offer is to take things slow.

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