Oroborus, Is it painful to actually have ice flowing through your vains? (Sheesh, what a freaking bitch)
I didn't think my JW family could find another way to hurt me but...
If that's the case then his "measure of compassion and understanding for her feelings" should have moved him to action to put a stop to this travesty IMMEDIATELY since by, by all accounts, he knew full well that they played an "end run around" the mother on this issue. Instead, he let it pass to appease the perpetrators of this dispicable act and spare them the embarrasment.
You know, when something happens that comes as a complete surprise to you... the way Essie described how her father felt when he saw the little girl coming out as the wedding was beginning.... a lot of people would be paralyzed by the shock and while realizing there was something horribly wrong going on, I think our social conditioning plays a huge role in the way we DON'T always do the right thing.
We're talking about two sisters and their father. I certainly would not have wanted to be him that day. He was faced with the choice of hurting one daughter over the other one. If it was YOUR daughter / grand-daughter getting married that day, would you really want to be remembered as the one who "ruined the wedding" by having a huge outburst in a place of worship?? This man was just as much a pawn in the situation as the little girl. They were COUNTING on his respect for social decorum, just as much as they COUNTED on the little girl's princess fantasies when they pounced on her with the flower girl stuff.
It goes to show how some JW women merely pay lip-service to the concept of headship.
It IS TOO about the mother of the child.
WHY did the 'theocratically-approved' family members
go behind the back of the 'theocratic-castoff',
if they wanted to "HONOR" her daughter?
Why couldn't they be 'up front' about it?
Of course it is an "ATTACK" on the mother
when they do this to her daughter."
"The Rotten TheoKrazies Laid the HEAVY BAGGAGE on the little girl,
NOT the other way around."
You said pretty much what I was going to........you sure have a way with words, Big Guy!
His/Her entire post was irritating. I didn't like the inferences that Essie was making more of it than need be, or the "all about HER" angle that made MY blood pressure rise........obviously this "Oroborus" has never been a Mom, has enbalming fluid for blood, or both.
((((((((((((((Essie, Mr. Essie, little Essie))))))))))))))))))))
How frustratingly devious! Those b!tche$ ! I would be livid, too. (And I'm pretty non-plussed at orobus' obtuseness, too, btw!) And your poor little 7 year old, being shown by example that her mother's efforts and opinions are worthless... it is all just too sad, too low, too dastardly despicable.
I am glad your ex and your father were unawares. I am stunned that your sister and your [ex-]dearest cousin were so contemptuous of your feelings and your daughter's. I cannot for the life of me understand how your mother could fail to see why this would be upsetting to you and your husband.
The JW shunning policy is mean, not at all loving or helpful. This was made clear as I described the above situation to my daughter, her friend and my son just a little while ago. They are just as appalled as most of us here. The "worldling" said, "Without asking her mother? So her mother didn't see her little girl be a flower girl?" They are all now futher innoculated against having anything to do with the Watchtower cult. A minor benefit from all your pain?
Sometimes I get complacent about the WT and its damaging ways, pushing them back into a corner of my mind as I used to do with the questions I'd have about this or that doctrine. Shame on me! One cannot be complacent with such insidious evil.
Man, oh, man! I hate that organization!
As far as the statement that JW's will do anything to get an unbelieving child into their grasp I have to say it's TRUE!
My ex friend, Dennis (I posted about him earlier today), has a sister named Candy and she was/is a tramp and had herself 3 of the most ugliest kids you could find. But that's beside the point. :) She, like Dennis, would float in and out of the troof never really commiting and when Dennis finally got his lazyass baptised he started getting these thoughts of taking her son away from her and raise him as his own in, in the troof. First off, this idiot can't even govern his own life let alone a childs but the absolute GALL to even think this just blew me away. He would talk to Candy directly about it and she told him to F off. He would talk to his mother about as well. He even talked to an elder about it and the elder was AGREEING with him and giving him legal options available to him!!! I just couldn't believe this! This elder was actually helping someone steal a child under the guise of spirituality!
But, like all things Dennis gets involved with, he lost interest and never seriously proceeded. But I just imagine if he DID succede in taking her kid. He would be the legal father and, like everything else, he would eventually get sick of him and wish he never did it and complain about his burdone and want to give him back.
GOD!!!! These people infuriate me!!
OK I opened old wounds by talking about this with my better and wiser half. So I'm going to say a little more. Sorry for offense in advance.
Talking about cutting of contact with your family you should do it FOR your daughter. Orb-moron reminded me of exactly the brain twisting moron logic that they use to justify being such donkeys. If they wanted to honor your daughter then you would have been there. (Selfish SOB's) They wanted to discrace you in the eyes of your daughter. And even if they did not mean to then they are to stupid and self rightous to see what they do. You and your family meaning your daughter need to be united. You teach people how to treat you. You teach your daughter how it is acceptable to treat people and how to be treated. By allowing her to go off with them without you and them doing that hurting you you made it acceptable behavior to act that way. You told her that it is OK to hurt people and you because they won't believe what you believe or do what they want you to do. That is BS. They are BS and cowards to boot. You hold your head high and remember that you are not cutting them off from your daughter. You are cutting them off FOR your daughter.
Wow. This thread is something else!
First of all, thanks T-man, a damsel can always count on you to come to her defense!! Much appreciated! I can't think of anything more to add in response to the post you were replying to. You said it all!
Oroborus, all I can say is that my history is all over the place. Like Tally said, I used to post under just "Esmeralda" and there are more than 700 posts there if you want to go through them.
Also, you can check out my website at www.ghostwriter.homestead.com which gives you the basics. I get the feeling that you will most likely not read them though, as you see intent on finding fault with me, and my feelings about this situation.
This whole thing was definitely 'about' me. How do I know? Because my mother asked my sister at the reception why she did such a thing, (my mother knew I would be hurt) and my sister (and apparently the bride) replied that they 'thought if (I) knew, that (I) would either say no, or keep her (my daughter) home from the event all together." So they decided to just remove my right as a parent to make the decision! Unacceptable!
So it was about me, it was selfish, cruel, and everything else that people have said, and I have already informed my ex-husband of my position. He has been put on notice: let my sister see my child, and he will hear from my lawyer.
We'll see what happens...thanks again everyone for your support. I am overwhelmed, and amazed. Thank you.
Meanwhile, I asked my daughter to tell me about her dress, and all. She happily told me all about it.
I bet she looked beautiful in it.
And I haven't even gotten the dress I bought for her back from my parents yet! And now that my mother isn't speaking to me (yet again) who knows when I'll get it back.
thanks again everyone...
turning a child against their own mother is the lowest possible blow they could take.
It sure is, but they do it nonetheless.
This brings up so much hurt. I'll post later.
Stupid Eduardo and so TYPICAL. Simon, Yo Yo's back!
I understand a little of how you feel.
I've read certain "obtuse" points (as Scully has called them) made above and consider they miss the whole point of family and motherhood which is something God-given; even the Dubs would admit that.
Meanwhile, I asked my daughter to tell me about her dress, and all. She happily told me all about it. I bet she looked beautiful in it.
Not asking you prior to the event is amzing. Glad you can see that your dear daughter is a victim in all this and it's so good that you did what you did.
"Victims of victims" as Ray Franz put it. How tragic!
Our sympathy and love goes out to yourself and little Essie.