Finally posting and I'm FRUSTRATED!!!

by stephanie61092 53 Replies latest jw experiences

  • DesirousOfChange

    Welcome Stephanie and Vel-Raptor,

    Put "Combatting Cult Mind Control" on your reading list now. You will be shocked. Sure I thought JWs were a bit controlling, but upon reading it, I realized JWs are the "poster child" of Cults!

    I agree with the suggestion to get reinstated and then do a quick fade. (Raptor, I'd never send the resignation letter as I see that as "playing by THEIR RULES". But, to each their own. Do what is good for you!) Funny how many of our devout friends will socialize normally with their "faded" kids and grandkids, but toe the line if they are DFd.

    Good luck!


  • Hidethevelociraptors

    Thanks for the welcomes everyone

    @Disrousofchange- I know exactly where your coming from. Initially I looked at it as playing by their rules to. But after I thought about it, I couldn't stand the fact that my name would still be associated with the cult in any way shape or form. It became a final formality to me. Something that's actually giving me my own closure from the cult in its entirety.

    fading just recently began to seem like a temporary solution to me. I need more than an ambiguous state of being ( if that makes sense)

    I'm either a witness or I'm not.

    I am not, that's not who I identify as and don't want any to to make the mistake and assume I am.

    me labeling my letter resignation instead of disassociation is my own middle finger up as I walk out the door lol.

    But as you said "to each their own"

    as long as we are out of the cult that's all that really matters.

  • hardtobeme

    Hi Stephanie.

    I love reading stories like yours. I used to like the stories of brothers and sisters in the wt or awake magazines. I really thought that they were real, but now I know that maybe 50% is made up to make it sound good. Yours and others stories here are 100% real. And you guys speak up what really is in your mind and heart. Thank you for sharing them with us.

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim
    Hi Stephanie and Welcome to the forum. Thanks for sharing.
  • whathappened
    Welcome, Stephanie. I enjoyed your opening post.
  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters

    Stephanie....? How are you??

    I only saw this post in a sidebar link, missed it the first time. I see no feedback or responses from you..... Are you okay???

    Everything everyone said to you is also what I want to say to you. This is hard shit. But you do have many good things going for you -- though I know it can be difficult to focus on the good, on the strengths, on the potentials and opportunities....

    Maybe try looking at it this way: A lot of people move away from family and friends when they come from other countries.... they have to cope with lonliness and meeting new friends, and perhaps they have no money and can't speak with their families for long intervals...

    They are "alien residents" -- (you never completely let go of the JW crap, but you can turn it around and even laugh at it some days!) -- and just like those foreigners, you too have become "an alien resident" (or a person of the nations.... ugh...)

    Anyway! Whatever the context, if you are the alien resident in a "new country"/ in this "world" -- the big bold bright incredible world, filled with opportunities & adventures and unknowns -- You HAVE A DEGREE!! Praise the gods, alleluia, thank the ether: YOU HAVE A DEGREE!!!

    This wonderful amazing thing means that you have many doors of opportunity open for you!

    I know nothing can replace or take the place of family, but in making good choices now and making best use of any and all opportunities, you can slowly build a life and good friends and colleagues.... And maybe one day, there will come a time when the blinders peel away from your family and they will come looking for you... And you will have made yourself, and them, proud.

  • brandnew

    Hi Stephanie !!! Not vomit at all....reading your story brought back some memories. My parents were pretty relaxed in the jw world too. I drove a corvette to high school, went to prom with a "worldly " chick....all that great stuff. But the part of your story that hits home is the part of dumb ass not handing you the mic to pass off to someone.

    Its happened to me alot.....ive been df'd going on 20 years, and thats a pet peev of mine. Once i snatched it outta the kids hand, and then handed it across😂😂😂, and then gently handed it back. But hang in there only gets better outside of the dang cult. Live life☺.

    Mad Puppy

  • JWdaughter

    I don't know how long ago your miscarriage was, but if you have post pregnancy hormones rushing through on top of all the feelings that go with finding out TTATT AND being Df'd, you should see your regular physician and tell them the straight up truth about your despair.

    Welcome to our little group. You really are welcome here. I'm sorry to your sadness now. It will get better.

  • jhine
    Hi Stephanie a warm welcome from me . Jan
  • macys

    OMG I am crying my freakin' eyes out and I am at school so this is no good! But OMG you touched my heart. I understand what you are going through! I still am very bitter at discovering that my religion is really a dangerous cult but I have a plan set in motion. OMG I do not know what else to say after reading this... you have said everything many of us are still feeling and have gone through in our lives.

    If this was ever one of those posts that deserve to be pinned permanently at the top of the page and posted this is it! PM me!

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