Finally posting and I'm FRUSTRATED!!!

by stephanie61092 53 Replies latest jw experiences

  • nicolaou

    Hi Stephanie, you sound as angry and pissed off as I was 16 years ago. You're among people who understand but I guess you know that already. Keep posting . .

    My family has been begging me to come back because they miss me, yet I'M RIGHT HERE.

    Hits like a punch to the stomach . .

  • Crazyguy
    Welcome, you came to the right place.
  • truthseekeriam

    Welcome Stephanie,

    Please take care of yourself. I remember those same nauseous feelings and headaches, it feels so overwhelming in the beginning.

    Talking it out with your therapist and maybe some medication to get you through this stage might be the best thing for now. I'm sorry for how your feeling, but I'm happy you're free from the cult.

  • Dagney

    What a great story you shared with us. Thank you and welcome.

    I'm so glad you were moved to investigate and research. Typically, that is all it takes...a niggle, a question...a feeling of indignation at the terrible treatment of us and everybody. Then with the can find whatever information you need to make a choice in how you want to live your life.

    Welcome to the dark side...we have cookies.

  • berrygerry


    Waking up is hard.

    With family still in, it seems that there are no right choices.

    You will go through a process, maybe similar to here:

    For both you and your therapist.

    Bonnie's book is a must-read for ALL ex-Dubs.

  • Simon
    I always pictured 'apostates' as people wearing hooded cloaks, who met in the middle of the night and tortured JWs.

    Hey, how we spend our weekend is our business ...

    Seriously, it is scary and unsettling when you discover that you've been thoroughly deceived and who the good guys vs bad guys are. Living life in a bubble and then leaving the bubble is hard - you'll watch films like The Matrix, The Trueman Show and The Village with a completely different perspective now.

    It does get easier, but it just takes time.

  • freemindfade

    Take a deep breath,

    the pressure of this thing (jw organization) is painful. You are here now and broke through by sharing this. So take a breath and come here to vent and protect your sanity. We can't control the had we were dealt only the way we play it out, so this hand, its time to play smart. You are about to own the rest of your life, but you may need to go through some serious detox!



  • Hidethevelociraptors

    Hey Stephanie , I read your post and it made me want to stop lurking and finally make an account.

    I wrote this list last night but after reading your story I figured I'd post it here as well.

    these are some things that help me cope with leaving the cult.

    1.Realize that you CAN & WILL overcome the emotional distress you may initially feel upon learning the real truth

    2.Come to terms with the fact that you may lose family and “friends”, this comes with the territory of knowing it’s a cult and ultimately wanting to leave.

    3.Don’t try to forcefully wake family members from their cult indoctrination . As hard as it is, you have to realize the org is where they are comfortable and as much as you’d like to save them, they have to ultimately save themselves. Like that old saying “ you can take a horse to water but you can’t make them drink”.

    4. Realize that it makes no sense stressing about things that are out of your control. You have to focus on YOURSELF and establishing your future. Finding out who you truly are and what you want to be.

    5 Enjoy each day as much as you can.
This reminds me of that quote from Troy were Brad Pitt says 
“The gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.”

    I use the quote loosely but hopefully you get my drift.Enjoy THIS life and make the most of it.

    These are my opinions but hopefully they help a little.

    I went from trying to compromise with family by fading to typing my "resignation"letter as I sit in my office today. ( I refuse to willingly use the word disassociate regardless if that's what they require or not)

    you will get pass this obstacle and your life will be better than what you expected.

    Stay Strong✊🏾, you're not alone

    (apologies for any typos I missed lol)

  • Finkelstein

    Welcome to the forum Stephanie

    Your story and experience is one that's been told many times on this forum and others.

    The thing is to keep your composure and try to think things through strategically for your best personal interests.

    It can be certainly difficult to leave this religion if you want to maintain a relationship with your family who are still deeply involved. The mostly likely reason this organization places such a high wall around its members was due to the fact that the organization's doctrines were intellectually dishonest and coercive to get people to read the literature it published. People who are JWs think they are serving god when in actuality they are serving the WTS. and supporting it with all of its corruption and deceit.

    If you researched what this ( WTS.) had self proclaimed and announced about itself you can seen the entailing corruption, not just from a biblical viewpoint.

    This religious publishing house has propagated many false and at times ridiculous doctrines as a means to attract attention to the literature it published and to self empower the men who started this religious publishing house.

    Some people have offered some good advise if your willing to reinstate yourself and fade out quietly as it were, this can work overtime with some patience.

    It should be said that you can conduct yourself in a wholesome responsible way to the benefit of yourself without organized religion showing you how to.

    take care Fink

  • EyesOpenHeartBroken
    Hello Stephanie! Thank you for sharing your story. So much of your upbringing resonates with me, and probably many others, too. I had such a weird mix of feelings when I finally realized that my warm memories of a happy childhood in "the truth" were actually warm memories of a happy childhood because I was raised by good and loving parents who were good and loving because that's who they are/were. But, of course, all credit for my parents hard work and love in raising us is given to the Org. When I finally had this revelation, it was a huge relief to embrace what I already knew was true. On the flip side, I was incredibly pissed that our family was used as an advertisement for the Org, like the poster child for doing it the WT way. I guess I always knew that was flawed, when I looked around the circuit and saw that the real "WT way " that 90% of the witness kids experienced. I always felt a little guilty, but also grateful. I also think that makes it harder to scrap being a JW. (I'm still in physically, not mentally). I'm married to a still JW believing wonderful man, as well my immediate family. I have never been df'd, but I totally relate to not being able to walk away from a really wonderful family. I wish you all the best with the choices you make and the therapy. I hope it helps.

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