Question to shunned persons

by HesterPryne 76 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • pomegranate

    For me, it would be very good.

    Me thinks it's a pipe dream though.

  • RR

    geez, can't take a joke, eh? to be honest with you, I wouldn't care, I have no bitterness towards the Society or any JW's I may have fellowshipped with. Remember, I wasn't DF'd, I left on my own, knowing full well the consequences of my actions.

    At the same time, I did not mourn those I left behind, I didn't cry, feel hurt or anything, I just went on with my life, just me and the wife and now our daughter, haven't seen the inside of a KH in some ten years, have no need to see one.

    If my former brethren feel like shunning me, fine! I could care less.

    However, I can't really say, why? Because I am the first to admit, I am STRANGE! I care very little for what people may or may not think of me. I know who I am and what I am capable of doing, I answer to no one but the Lord, so if my former brethren knocked on my door and said let's hang out, I would feel awkward, because we still have nothing in common, their still in bondage to the Society, and why would I want to fellowship with people I have nothing in common with spiritually?

    I don't even visit my fleshly family for that matter for the same reasons!

    Religion is man's attempt to reach God,
    Jesus is God's attempt to reach man.

  • Pathofthorns

    While RR's comments might have had some shock value to them, I personally would have to take a cautious approach before just welcoming them with open arms.

    I am not disfellowshipped or disassociated but shunned none the less only by my family and not by members of the congregation. The offical policy is that they can associate with me at present, so if the policy were loosened even further, what difference would that really make?

    Even when the Society does make changes, the old school attitudes live on for some time and many would still continue to shun, simply because to do otherwise would be almost an admission of error for their past shunning.

    I would be very skeptical accepting some sort of half-assed love from my family if their love was given or not given based on rules and laws. True love trancends rules and laws and if one allows their love to be legislated, is it really love?

    Like RR, I made my choices in life and I have no regrets and never felt any sort of loss as I travel down this path. I have nothing in common with them anymore. I do hope they wake up and see the light. Until then, no matter what easing up the Society does, things will never be right between us.


  • mommy
    I do hope they wake up and see the light. Until then, no matter what easing up the Society does, things will never be right between us.~Path

    I know the feeling, if your family can't love you through the good, the bad, and the ugly, well, they were never really there for you to begin with. That is the thought I wanted to expand on earlier, I feel as if my family really doesn't know me. Even when I was in the org, I had to give programmed responses. Now, even though I have no guilt about things I do, sometimes when I am talking to my family, and the kids mention B-days or a holiday we are celebrating, I get a twinge of guilt about it.

    So even though they are my blood and I would do anything for them, I don't feel the same about their feelings for me. Of course I do have 2 sisters where the ties are completly broken. I have no desire at all to get to know them again, but the same applies to them as well, If I could ever help I would be willing to try.

    It is really sad to be able to see them cut the ties so easily though. To turn your back on a loved one for years at a time even. How sad to live in such a world, without a heart. How temporary an existence. My heart really breaks for them.

  • sf

    Its been close to 24 years now. I'd play it real cool and be just like mommy in that I'd be very cautious as to not get burned again! by that "light". Then, I'd nonchalantly take my mom on a vacation alone somewhere (all documents covertly packed away) and sit her down and tell her..."it's time mom, you can't run now". I'd show her absolutely everything my research has proofed over the last three years just how mass the corruption is in the society and especially the doctrines she holds so precious and that "wt god" she calls "jehovah". Then, after i told her everything, i'd wait for her reaction.

    What else can i do at that point?

    Great post! Thanks, Scally (still-aching-hard-for-her class)

  • Had Enough
    Had Enough

    Hi Zazuwitts:

    As I've said on other posts, shunning has always been a sorespot with me and I would love to see a change. It would return a measure of harmony in my family between my da'd son and his sister who is devastated by this situation and with other family members too.

    I have the 2 articles in the W81, 9/15 if you would like me to post them (they total 8 pages) The first is on "DF'ing and DA'ing-how to view it, and the second is "If a Relative is DF'd".

    Post me back if you'd still like me to post them here.

    Had Enough

  • Simon

    It would be great if it happened but I doubt very much that it ever would.

    If there wasn't the fear of losing family and friends I'm sure a massive number would up and leave straight away. They could not afford to do this.

    It's one of the things that identifies them as a cult though so who knows if enough pressure is put upon them.

    You can bet they wouldn't announce it though !

  • Had Enough
    Had Enough


    I've often wondered too if they fear that masses would leave if they discontinued the shunning rule.

    One thing is for sure, if the pressure got so great, from the exposure its getting on the net and in the press, then they will say the same thing they did when the numbers dropped after 1975...that God is just cleansing the org. of those who aren't true worshippers.

    Again the exodus will be the fault of the general r&f not the org.

    One thing I would like somehow to get the gb to address is why they state on their website, in the QFA section, that family members are not ties remain the same. That is an outright lie to the public.

    Had Enough

  • stephenw20

    Had enough,

    that is a lie. as is the fight they portray for religious freedom in the civil rights courts...

    ....and you can exercise your freedom as long as you remain a good standing..........

    the very freedom they fight for and ask for pats on the back for , they dont recognize for others.......see back of May 15 2001 WT

    what a ridiculous postion.....


  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    I don't really know how I would feel, to tell the truth. There are so many factors involved. I am like Wendy, my family really doesn't know me, and they never really have.
    As a result of my marriage and disassociating myself back to back within a week, my parents refuse to meet my husband. They never call, they talk if I call them. They express no interest in my new life with my wonderful husband. And they have even resorted to accusing my husband of ridiculous things, including ulterior motives for marrying me. It has been my mother who has said these things for the most part.
    At this point even if things changed, I am not sure I would want them to meet my husband, because I know they would be looking at him with suspicion and pre-judgment.
    It is a hard call. As for the rest of my friends still in the org., I will never understand how you can turn love off and on like a faucet. It is simply beyond my comprehension. I only had a few very close friends in the org. and it just doesn't make any sense to me. I couldn't do it if I were in their shoes.

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