Question to shunned persons

by HesterPryne 76 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • HesterPryne

    Hello everyone,

    If your Jehovah's Witness relatves came to you and said....

    "Praise Jah, There has been 'New Light" and we can associate with you again!"....

    What would you say or do?

  • crossroads

    Personally I would Love the moment.
    Lots of hugs and kisses all around-picnic
    at my sisters too follow.
    On a funnier note-from the little rascales.
    "I was in the neighborhood and thought I
    would drop in.
    Well keep on going to you get to the river
    and then drop in."

  • RR
    "Praise Jah, There has been 'New Light" and we can associate with you again!"....

    "Kiss my A**!" would be my reply as I slam the door in their faces!

    Religion is man's attempt to reach God,
    Jesus is God's attempt to reach man.

  • crossroads

    RR-is this Jesus thing you got going just a front?
    I don't believe our Lord would react that way.
    Just my 2-cents

  • mommy

    I can honestly say I would be overjoyed. I would hold my emotions in check though, in case the light flickered and they are to shun me again. I may go in more datail on this subject later

  • stephenw20

    is that bitterness I hear?.........

    listen to Donnie

    "I'm learning to live without you now
    But I miss you sometimes
    The more I know, the less I understand
    All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
    I've been tryin' to get down
    to the heart of the matter
    But my will gets weak
    and my thoughts seem to scatter
    But I think it's about forgiveness
    Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
    These times are so uncertain
    There's a yearning undefined
    ...people filled with rage
    We all need a little tenderness"

    its about FOrgiveness

  • ZazuWitts

    Hi Hester,

    I, too, would be so happy if they changed their policy re association.

    You say you disassociated in 1981, well consider yourself fortunate your parents didn't totally shun you at that time. For, it was in the Watchtower, September 15, 1981 issue that the WTBTS, for the first time, 'mandated' all witnesses to treat disassociated ones just as if they were disfellowshipped... to be totally shunned.

    From that date on our JW relatives didn't speak to us for over ten years! Eventually my JW sister-in-law needed help caring for her very ill mother, and she then called me to ask for my help alternating caregiving with her. And, just since last summer we have noticed that, if we call her, fine, but she never initiates a call.

    If you have "Crisis of Conscience" by Raymond Franz, you can read about the change on p.308. Or, perhaps someone could post the above mentioned Tower article...I no longer have a copy.

    Not too long ago, someone on this forum posted that at their District Assembly it was once again emphasized "no contact with disfellowshipped and disassociated persons" - so they are still reinforcing this position.

    Hope you don't mind me asking: Why do you think your folks 'ignored' their counsel back in 1981? Maybe they thought there was hope you would return??

  • Introspection

    Well I'm not being shunned by family or anyone I know locally, but one thing that comes to mind is "So, that means the society was wrong before doesn't it? Wonder what else they might be wrong about?"

  • HesterPryne

    I was fortunate that it took my parents nearly 18 years to start shunning me.
    It is really odd to me that the congregation here changed how they handled relationships with shunned ones at about the time you say a Watchtower article came out on the subject (1981)
    One family hadn't spoken to their son for over 15 years and started seeing him again in of June,2000 he was shunned again. I'm glad I have only been shunned once....couldn't take it twice.
    My only explanation for having been able to see my parents for so long is that...maybe the congregation here has low reading cmprehension skills...duhh

    RR, Crossroads,

    At this time I m leaning toward the kiss my A** direction....but if the time came I'm not sure how I would react.....


    I would like to hear your comments. I would always worry that things could change again.
    It's changed once...
    In 1981 I was told that if I didn't come back I would be df'd. I was also told that if I ask to be removed from the roles of JW's that I would be da'd but that I could still associate with my parents. I wrote a letter to the Society asking to be removed. I didn't hear anything else about it until 11 months ago. It's strange....during that time I sat in my parents home and visited JW's....even pioneers from Bethel who stayed with my parents for a summer and a couple of different overseers. Maybe none of them were aware of my status. I know the locals were and it didn't seem to make any difference.....then


    That song has was a favorite of a former abusive boyfriend of mine....he quoted it often.....

  • Drue


    Unfortunately I’d agree with you that the Society reinforces their shunning policy. As late as February 15, 2001 in the Russian edition of the Watchtower they reprinted the unfortunate article on shunning from the English July 15, 1985 Watchtower that discusses 2 John 10 and says the verse applies to all disassociated ones.

    February 15 is the issue where they print the conventions’ schedule, but in the Russian version there was no need to do so, so they had to fill be blank space of pages 30-31. I personally felt very saddened that of all the information they could have printed, that shunning article was chosen.

    In my understanding, the shunning policy has not yet brought as much harm in Russia as it has in the countries where JWs have a long history. We do not have so many dfd or da’d people (simply because the religion is new here). Most of Russian JWs came into the org after 1992-3, they have not read the older Watchtowers so before this issue of February 15, 2001Watchtower some people may have not even realised how far shunning can go. Of course elders know about this regulation and discuss it with every baptismal candidate but I feel the majority of JWs don’t think shunning its anywhere an important issue.

    I disassociated about 2 months ago. My mother who has been a witness since 1991 is being expelled for ‘apostasy’.


    As for your question, yes, I’d love to see this ‘new light’. Even though the principle when someone else (the Governing Body) decides for others who they can associate with and who they cannot, devaluates, I believe, the genuineness of affection I would still welcome the change. Guess this would be very dangerous for the Society and will be avoided as long as possible, at least on paper.

    Regarding your comment in the WHATS GOING ON? thread in the main forum I am not aware of any new light as far as associating with those who left the org. I think the society simply repeats or emphasises their regulations from time to time. When they do it, people begin to follow it, but as time goes by things naturally become more moderate and they have to restate those. I’d tend to agree with Prisca that it is a case of the liberal JWs vs conservative JWs individually, not the organisational policy.

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