Advice on Disassociating

by HiddenPimo 77 Replies latest jw experiences

  • silentbuddha

    Stan, you are encouraging a current jdub to stay one and live a life in which he remains one. Sounds like field service to me.

    Sounds like your life would be better if you just went back

  • HiddenPimo

    I am open to advice from both POV. My reality is that if my family puts their religion ahead of our family ties then I don't need them anyways. That may sound cold but its the truth and I have no children (Thanks BORG) and Wife will leave me if I DA so nothing I can do about that.

    I will not live a lie to make others superficially happy and if that makes me selfish then so be it.

    My marriage has been miserable due to Borg interfering with what we can and can't do in the Bedroom. It has made for guilt and I will not live that life anymore.

    If you are not for me then you are against me - isn't that what were indoctrinated with...

  • stillMS

    I'm a still a PIMO. Working on waking up my family - as they're dear to me.

    Had I not have the family trapped in - I'd quit the same day I learned the 'Truth' is BS.

    From my experience - it's super hard to change another person's point of view even on a minor issue. We, humans, tend to be stubborn, you know.

    If you don't care much about getting your family out - go ahead with your plan.

    I guess, social media could have even more impact than the paper letters. But in any case, the elders should be the last people on Earth to learn about your decision (they'll still learn it super quick, anyway).

    Using a platform to voice your concerns and reasons to leave is also an option (but here, you'll have just few seconds before they turn off the mikes).

    I'd vote for making some video with your explanations - and posting it on Youtube/Facebook, etc.. From my experience, even the hardcore Jdubs could watch it (they do it just to reinforce their belief they're better than you - but who knows...).

  • silentbuddha

    Yes HiddenPimo listening to both sides is best and ultimately you will do what you feel is best and live with it as a man should. When I left my wife cried and made threats. I loved her dearly, but told her I would rather my kids hate me till I died than fir them to realize I lived a lie and forced them to do the same.

    In a few months she began to understand my decision and studied and researched till she realized I was telling the truth.

    She left and next looked back. Our family is stronger and we arent hiding. Just my story, not every outcome is the same but you deserve to live a genuine life. You only have one

  • StephaneLaliberte

    As advised by Bennyk, I would keep it short and send it to the members of the congregations rather than just the elders who will likely dismiss it. I would also focus on exposing the JW for their lack of Christianity.

    Try to wrap up ideas in a very simple format:

    - Can you imagine a bible passage in which Jesus would reprimand a father or mother for keeping contact with a disfellowshipped family member? Wouldn't it be easier to see the pharisees in such a role?

    - Does Jehovah really forgive sins for which we are repentant? Why do brothers keep records for years on end outlining our past sins in publisher's cards?

    - Have you ever seen a Bethelite being sent out of Bethel around 50 years of age without proper funding or even transitional training? How does this compare with worldly companies who offer compensation packages?

    - Why would elders NOT report child abuse in countries/states where it is not mandatory to do so?

    - If God so loved the world that he gave his son for it, why do we teach that 99.9% of the current population will be destroyed by him at Armagedon?
  • apostatethunder

    When I dissasociated they started quite a scary campaign of stalking and harassing, but I was always very polite with them and never called the police.

  • silentbuddha

    Apostatethuder are u trying to go inside the hall? I was confused by the video

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath
    Stan, you are encouraging a current jdub to stay one and live a life in which he remains one. Sounds like field service to me.

    Sounds like your life would be better if you just went back

    err--didnt you read this--?

    Why make a big issue out of it?

    It will only create problems for your relatives and friends

    Just walk away..never look back..dont go near a kh again..forget the cult and move on with your life.

    Even visiting sites like this can do more harm than good if youre still dithering.

    if i could turn the clock back--yes--i would have done it differently. no resigning--no grand gesture to get me d'fd...just a slow fade --to a point where most people wouldnt even remember me. just maybe i might have been able to maintain contact with my kids.

    strange as it may seem--i still miss my kids. they havent died--in fact they have familes. i have 7 grand children i have never met. the eldest is married herself now--so ive heard.

    so dont tell me my life would be better if i just went back. ive earned my spurs.

  • silentbuddha

    Actually stan I can tell you anything I choose... it's a message board.

    If you are pining for contact with your children and that lack of contact is making you miserable then go back.

    Otherwise keep on trucking.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath
    Actually stan I can tell you anything I choose... it's a message board.

    true--but then i can ignore it. pity the isnt an ignore feature on this site.

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