My Letter to the Elders in My Late Father's Congregation
Your letter was to the point, clear cut and beautifully written. I only wish it would impact on those creatures, unfortunately, it won't. Those are the same sub-humans I tried to reach: Wayne Christianson, Neal Cox, Ozbek, Rick Goodheart, the evil one, John Prester..are there more? All heartless empty shells, hiding behind the Watchtower rules to avoid being a Christian, to avoid being kind, and I suppose to escape the guilt. But I truthfully wonder if there is any guilt, any shame to be found in those men. I hope that other members of the congregation have their eyes opened by your letter but again I doubt it. Witnesses always hide behind the words, "Wait on Jehovah."
You are brave, you have done one hundred percent the right thing, and I am so sorry that you had to suffer so much. Your Dad was a good man and he deserved all the respect and help and kindness that you mentioned.
PS. Mackey would like a letter too
Wow, Nina, incredible letter, very well written. I am very sorry to read about the way your dad was treated.
Well I am totally gobsmacked. Nina is off to the movies this evening but as she was on her way out the phone rang and it was one of the sisters from the Preston Park congregation. She said she received Nina's letter. She told Nina that she cried as she read the letter and most especially the last paragraph (the P.S.). She said that applied to her. She said she was one of those people that wanted to reach out to others but didn't know how. She said she made a vow to change and promised Nina that she will seek out people who look lonely and say hello and she knows of a couple that she will invite to her house for a meal.
She thanked Nina profusely for writing the letter and agreed that the elders would try to sweep the whole event under the rug (they have a lot of experience doing that in that hall) and pretend nothing happened.
I am expecting a visit from the elders either this weekend or next and I am braced for the coming storm. But for just a brief moment, we both enjoyed a glimpse of humanity from one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
They say if your message reaches one person, then you have succeeded.
Chris and Nina
If it help change one persons attitude, the letter made a difference. Good news. Thanks for Sharing Big Tex.
You know Big Tex, when I read Nina's letter, the copy she gave to me in Dallas, I was also very moved by her P.S.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,She said that if anyone wanted to do anything in memory of her father, they should invite someone who is lonely over for a meal. To take a special interest in someone who may need help,,,,,,,,, , if only all those who received this letter like this sister would be so humble as to admit what they might not have done. That is all anyone can really ask for ,,,,,,,, is that people in the organization open their eyes up to what they are really doing or not doing. So many of us did the same thing, not by being neglectful or hurtful, but by just not knowing what to do . We were so afraid to do anything on our own for fear the elders would chastise us for whatever move we made on our own. I know the elders and the ones taking the lead, are a whole different story for the most part,,,,,,they will cover up and lie to keep their butts from accepting any of the blame, even as they know they are guilty. But it is ones like that sister who wants to be Christ like,, that may one day save a life,,,,, leaving it to the elders ,,,,,,,, is futile. Like you said Big T,,,,,,,,, if you got the message to at least one person,,,,,,,, you have done alot,,,,,,,, but you know that that one person will pass that on to someone eles, sometime and it will not end there. So Nina's letter and the sadness of her father's death, have moved maybe just one person to help another. Then the letter has done some good, even if the elders never acknowledge it at all.
((Nina and Chris))
I've tried to muster the strength all this week to offer a comforting thought to you both, but what you all (including dear Dad, rest his soul) have gone through evokes such deep feelings.
You said it best:
You have behaved exactly like the Pharisees whom Jesus condemned. You will have to answer to Jehovah for your actions. (Matt.25:41-46) I have nothing but contempt and disgust for you
You are so brave to write such a beautiful and poignant letter. I am so proud of you!!! I can only imagine what pain you're going through. I've experienced suicide survival with some acquaintances of mine, but never of anyone that close to me. But my ignorance is full of pride for you and how you're handling this. You're doing all the right things. Writing letters to the perpetrators of the pain, seeking solace/comfort (us & Big Tex), and seeking therapy. Wow! You're healing process is on the right track!!!
You sound so much like my sweet husband, Neil. He is one of the most loving, kind, caring men I know. He is MY rock!!! Please continue taking care of our sweet friend! She needs you now, more than ever and I am so proud to know there are wonderful men like you out there! You are both so blessed!
I posted your letter to the German XZJ-Infolink-board. This is a reply that came from a female XJW that used to attend an English congregation in Germany:
[quote]Looks like they hate their old ones. My "mother" told me, my grandma was disfellowshipped, which she wasn't. Just as if she needed an excuse not to care for her. She even complained when the city of Cologne sent her a letter saying that grandma had applied for Sozialhilfe, and they were looking for the family to care for her in first place.
And my great-grandma hat 6 strokes, only after the last one she was doing real bad. But my "mother" told me constantly that she couldn't speak anymore, nor eat by herself nor wash herself aso. Which wasn't true at all. When I found out that this all hadn't been true, it was a few months before her death. I could only visit her 2 more times... It was a shock seeing this woman who had babysitted us so many times when we were little and "mother" wanted to go in field service, sitting helplessly in her arm chair, not able to even speak more than 2 words... And after 8 long years she recognized me! :-((((
What's so bad about old ones? They were good enough to serve the Borg their whole life long, but when they've grown old noone cares for them anymore...
BTW, I'm still trying to find my grandpa... I'll send a letter with 10 EUR to the city where he used to live in order to find out where he moved...[/quote]
I can only add my voice to the chorus of praise that's gone up here: this is one of the best letters I've read in a long time, and I suspect it will do what letters like this hardly ever do: positively affect many of the people to whom it is addressed (especially members of the congregation, probably not the asshole elders, too dense with their own self-importance to feel anything like empathy for anyone). Beautifully written, moving, intelligent ... wow.
WOW What can I say !? I have to be honest and this is gonna sound kinda gurly but I was in tears reading that letter. You are a brave person and have been so strong in this.
Big Tex is a rock as you said, what a wonderfull friend, but you are a pillar, you have done so well and we are all so proud of you. Some thing needs to be done about thes people. I was wondering if you would mind if this letter is forwarded to the press over here in Britain, as many people as possible need to know about this ! your Pa is not an isolated incident as we all know but there is not anything said about it and if there is there is not enough on it.
Keep up the good work, keep your chin up in the tribulous time and keep us all posted.
P.S I thought is someone died their credit goes with them ? surely you dont need to pay the bill, just send it back stating that your father has passed on, I am sure AMEX can afford to write it off.