My Letter to the Elders in My Late Father's Congregation

by cruzanheart 106 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • Jesika
    Jesika

    Nina and Chris,

    You all are so special to me!! You 2 are the strongest people I have ever seen!!

    The letter was amazing, and I hope it helps you to get it out on paper, and sending it---WOW! I really don't know what else to say, except, you are amazing people and parents.

    If you need me for anything, you have my#.

  • Soledad
    Soledad

    again Im left speechless---you guys are amazing. I feel your loss so deeply.

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan

    I saw this thread before under 'Active Topics' but I just now read the letter...good Lord...

    Your behavior goes far beyond the lame excuse of “imperfection.”

    SHAME ON YOU.

    I couldn't have said it any better than that.

  • moreisbetter
    moreisbetter

    Dear Nina,

    The letter is truely amazing. It is a perfect way to expose, imo, the biggest lie that the WTS perpetuates; that they are a loving, caring origanization. They should be shamed for their cruelty.

    The strength and capacity for love that you and Big Tex possess is inspiring. May the pain that you and your family are enduring pass quickly.

    Take care, Theresa

  • hamptonite21
    hamptonite21

    thanks for sharing your letter with us, It was well written. My thoughts are with you and your family. I hope that you letter wakes up those in the congregation to what this mind control can do to someone.

  • kat_newmas
    kat_newmas

    I enjoyed your letter, and deeply sympathize with this situation. It is a horrible thing... the guilt, fear, and judgement, that has become so rampant.

    It would be truly unwise to expect any true remorse from these elders. I know it had to feel "good" to tell them how you feel, and at least express to them that they HAVE taken a great responsibility.... to claim to know what is right for another man..... Time somebody held them to that responsibility. But, I am afraid you will not find any sincere remorse..... In their eyes, they are "appointed" by the Dweller of the Heavens, they have yet to accept responsibility for the pain they have caused.

    Just know that in "death" your father does not suffer from guilt or shame. He is not being subjected to taunting or torment. He is in a state of change and growth now... for what lies ahead. That which you call "heaven" only begins to describe, the .... pure energy....that he will become. Death is not an end, it is a beginning.... do not grieve for him, but for your own loss. No list of rules or doctrines can change the great cycle of life, that wich we are all apart of. I will think of you and your father in my prayers.

    I hope you accomplish something with the letter.... it was articulate and to the point. If every member of this site did something like that.... perhaps it would at least make somebody up there in NY, think about how they effect peoples lives. Good luck

  • BLISSISIGNORANCE
    BLISSISIGNORANCE

    A very touching and extremely profound letter.

    I know the feeling of losing someone to suicide. My husband was not a JW, he had serious alcohol problems which made him a not very nice person to live with.................yet that feeling of sadness, loneliness and regret stay forever. In my husband's case, the depression came from his drinking and dope smoking which had a severe effect on him. But in your poor father's case, his depression could have been helped. SHOULD have been helped by so-called 'Christ's Bros.' Instead it was aggravated by the WTS's LOVING procedures and provisions.

    I have personally experienced the cruel effects of disfellowshipping too. And as I read your letter I couldn't help but convert your words into feelings. The same ones I felt when I was DF'ed and when I tried to come back 3 times. When I met for reinstatement the 2nd time and was told that "Jehovah didn't want me back yet". And just like your father, the indifference and continuous shunning even after after reinstatement. I was DF'ed for something I didn't do.

    Words cannot take away your pain or bring your dad back. But you just do whatever makes you feel satisfied and vindicate your dad...........not that he needs it because he was obviously better than THEM..............but give those unloving mongrels heaps. EXPOSE, EXPOSE, EXPOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    My thoughts are with you, stay strong and keep your dad's memory strong.

    Cheers,

    Bliss

    PS: Thank you for sharing your deep, personal feelings with us. I feel privelaged to have come to know you.

  • email
    email

    ((((((Nina & Chris)))))))

    Fist of all... I feel honored that I got to meet you guys in Dallas, you and your whole family are very special.

    That was a VERY moving letter... and I can empathize with you. I haven't gone through the exact same things you went through but judging by the way myself and others have been treated in other matters I KNOW they are capable of the things they did and said and much more... and then, like you said in your letter they tell you that "there are some imperfect elders" in every congregation and it's a shame things like that happen... well... it happens all too often... and I think it's more the NORM rather than in isolated cases... I feel outraged by their actions and really hope that something can come out of this letter. I could feel your frustration because most of us in this board had felt the same way on many occasions.

    I wish you the BEST in life for you and your family…

    I love you all,

    Rick (“email”)

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    Nina,

    I am so sorry, i only suggest, that u send this to Dr. phil.com. b/c they are looking for things that have happened in our local area.(see thread Dr Phi., on child abuse section). I hate to inform u , but valarie williams is no longer with channel 8 , as i tried to reach her, and talked to them and was told this. I am very serious about Dr. Phil as he is actively looking for stories and would love this story.Also, other local channels do expose stuff. Also, montel willimas is a respectable show, and they do good stories. So is Oprah.

    For your fathers sake, do something with this story. make people read it.

    I am so sorry for your pain, it is just too sad for words.

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    Thanks, wednesday -- Jesika told me too. That's okay, though, I'll just send it to someone else at the TV channels. Dr. Phil is a good idea, but I want to watch one of his shows first to find out what I'd be letting myself in for. I don't get to watch too much daytime TV (unless "Rugrats" counts). Big Tex said he'd tape a show so I could watch it. I think I will spread this around a bit more than I indicated in my letter and we'll see what happens.

    I went to my therapist today and gave her a copy of the letter. She was properly gobsmacked (God, I love that phrase) that (1) I wrote it, and (2) I sent it. She asked me if I was ready for the fallout that was coming, and I told her that I was. Besides, I've got Caller ID and two basset hounds and I'm not afraid to use 'em.

    I may be in for a fight with Academy Sporting Goods too. I called their corporate office and strongly suggested that it would be a human kindness to not make me pay for the gun that killed my father (he charged it on his American Express card, which I'm going to have to pay when it comes in), but they somehow didn't think they could really take the charge off. The flunky who called suggested I take the gun to a pawn shop and sell it, and I told him quite forcefully that he was missing the point of the whole thing. I NEVER want to see the gun, I don't want any money exchanged for it in any fashion, and I think it's pretty traumatic to expect me to pay for it. So I'm going to dispute the charge with American Express, after I get done with the flunky's boss.

    Anyway, y'all, thanks for all of your input and encouragement. You give me strength and comfort, and I love you all.

    Nina

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