by minimus 80 Replies latest jw friends
I was a serious young man up to the age of 15 or so. Then for some strange reason I started seeing the funny side of life. Then at 18 years old Satan, the god of loose traction in the corners,caused me to crash on my motorcycle and break my collar bone. Fortunately, due to heartfelt repentance, I was forgiven for such a sin. It wasn't till 1987 that Satan the motorist tempted me again to sin by luring me into the side of his van as he ran a stop sign.
I'm so weak!
Stan
Hey Patio, That elder would be everybody's favorite. "I didn't fornicate. In Jehovah's eyes we were married when we had sex....Brother Stupid said so himself"......Speaking about fornication, One dumb sister confessed to fornication to the elders and just to prove it, she brought her calender from home. On 5 of the days , a BIG "P" was on the week. When an elder asked her what that represented, she said it referred to her period. She said that all the other days, before and after the "P" week, she committed fornication, including the week of the District Convention. She also noted that the following month, there were no "P's". That 's why she was confessing. She was pregnant. And yup, she did get disfellowshipped.
It's a perfect organisation made up of imperfect people.
SS
This drivel from circuit assembly a couple of years ago...
"We as Jehovah's Witnesses should strive to be less curious about things around us...how much time do YOU spend reading 'secular' books, novels, etc? Now, how much time do you spend reading the Kingdom publications? Yes, Jehovah's people should squelch/subdue their desire to learn and be curious...blah blah blah..."
After being totally inactive for almost a decade and attending the odd assembly for the sole reason of being able to see my parents, I think this marked the true end of the JW ride for me.
razor, OMG!
stan, minimus, and mac,
ROFLMAO!!!! Why can't I stop laughing???
~Aztec of the not yet blind but needs glasses REAL bad class
A Disfellowshipped Person Seeking Reinstatement: "I want to come back to Jehovah's organization so that I can go back in service".....TRUE, too.
stan, minimus, and mac,ROFLMAO!!!! Why can't I stop laughing???
~Aztec of the not yet blind but needs glasses REAL bad class
Aztec,
Could it be a distorted sense of humor?
Not even gonna ask about the vision impairment!
mac
If you are hurting financially, having marriage troubles, having doubts, kids are in trouble, you are in trouble, no matter what is the problem, it can be fixed by going to more meetings,.......
and how conveniently they forgot the scripture that says "if you owe your brother money, your place is not sitting in the synagogue, but out working to pay back your brother," or words to that effect.
Usually I blow off whatever comments I hear from dubs, but one, made by an elder that I ran into at the grocery store really irritated me. I was walking on clouds because I had just had my baby about one month earlier. This elder and I go way back and he is quite aware that I do not accept the "truth" as truth. So after commenting on how pretty our baby was, he said "you really need to get this child to meetings so she has some hope." I was so irritated by his lack of respect for my spiritual beliefs that I just stared at him and said, "ummm, excuse me, but what makes you think because I do not choose the same religious path as you that my child has no hope?"
rebel can relate, if you're not a JW you are a horrible, selfish, hopeless person. And rebel, if you are destroying any hope for a reuniting, then what are Witnesses that remarry after their JW spouses die doing ?
There are several that I can think of.
"Gay people recruit because they can't reproduce." (Look who's talking about recruiting!)
(In a special needs talk given after a husband molested his granddaughters when his wife was seriously sick in bed.) "You wives should provide the marital due so that your husbands will not commit immorality."
(At a circuit assembly.) Sisters should not be wearing black stockings because this is what prostitutes wear and they could be mistaken for a prostitute.
(Urban legend that people told me in all seriousness, but I though was absolute crap. I was starting to wake up.) "And when the brother opened the pray calling upon the name of Jehovah, the smurf jumped up and ran screaming out the door!"
"The soda cans should not be placed in the trash containers. They should be placed in the bins marked 'Soda Cans Only.'" Well duh!
Tammy
Just remembered another one :
"ONE PAPER TOWEL ONLY"
David
