tim3l0rd about 5ish years ago a letter was written to all CO's & DO's that if the child of servant or elder was to go into higher education that there qualifications were to be questioned. The letter which was orally read to all servants and elders was that if the child was still living at home, attending meeting meetings and regularly contributing in the ministry that the elder or servant would be "ok.". They provided a loophole effectively but only for higher ups.
Else, I worked for 5 years on my escape plan, and I was able to wake my wife up even though she is a born in 3rd generation. Like many we are simply moving, and taking our cards with us. Still in the same large city so we will run into people, but its an easy way to just pick up and rebuild. It will come as a shock to many when the see the for sale sign go up next week. But like any good plan it takes time and effort, at a bare minimum if I get in "trouble" I can say I waited on god to answer.
Like many my wife woke up because I taught her how to think with probing questions, and planting seeds of doubt. In some ways its easier being an elders wife as you get to see and hear more about the issues. She sees its full of demands over love, I find that the women in the halls suffer from emotional abuse due to this as well. Take a look at all the moms in the back rows on pins and needles that the kids won't act up.
My daughter has no clue that we are not coming back, its going to be a shock for her system, but its safer in the long run.
Like many I have appreciated the advice given by all of you. I do expect to get cornered by our CO and elders in our new location, but like many of you have suggested, I'll just say I'm done, burnt out, and if they press I'll mention the child abuse issue we had to go through in the prior year that disgusts me to this day. That will put the fear of god back into them, and they know it. To me, the reality is that there is no such thing as a successful escape, its just playing for the tie, or to minimize the loss.
Like my hero Isaac Newton, I'll always strive for truth and as such, I'll enjoy seeing how many I can bring with me, subtly of course.