My Story.......

by Jesika 86 Replies latest jw experiences

  • pudd
    pudd

    hi jess,

    I feel I have to say something, but I can't think of what I could possible say. I was abused as a kid but not sexually and not by j.w's

    I do not claim to understand what you have been through or to know how you feel. As I read your story, I could not hold back the tears, at one point I thought I would be physically sick. How could your own family do this to you?! you said all this was a long time ago but it is clear that you still suffer deeply.

    I just want to thank you for the tremenous courage you showed in telling this story. you truly are an amazing woman. what I find so scarry is the fact that so many people have been through such herendas expireances. I have not visited the silent lambs site because I am a coward. I am afraid of the truth of what an awfull world we live in . the fact that such things go on in what for the last 16 years i thought of as"the truth" terrifies me. You put me to great shame. If you, and people like you can find the strength, not only to tell your story, but more amazingly live through that, then the least I can do is take the time to read them.

    Your strength is an insperation! thank you again and good luck with the therapy. if ever anyone desirves to find peace it is you!

    On a more humorous note; I was so engrosed in this that I did not notice that my 2 year old son who is right here in the room with me, had got a gold permanant marker pen and gone around drawing on everything incuding a brand new leather sofa he has probably done hunderds of £ of damage still all I could do was pick him up and give him a big hug! after reading yor account it puts things in perspective. lots of love, pudd xxx

  • invictus
    invictus

    jessika,

    you are survivor and I admire you for that.

    I wish you all the best, you deserve that.

    invictus

  • simplesally
    simplesally

    ((((((((Jess)))))))) I never read this til this morning... so glad you are married, healthy and working on happiness now.

  • Aztec
    Aztec

    Wow! I remember you sharing some of this with me when we talked on the phone but I'm just shocked at how bad it really was. Thanks to whomever brought this back to the top. An important part of dealing with the past is acknowledging it and not being silent about it. You do have courage Jesika and I'm proud of you!

    ~Aztec

  • acsot
    acsot

    I've said on this forum before and I'll say it again:

    It was reading Jesika's story that finally got me out of the borg.

    luv ya Jes!!

  • drwtsn32
    drwtsn32

    ((((Jes))))

    Reading your story made my heart ache.... I don't know what to say except that I'm so glad that part of your life is over. You are very strong for enduring what you did...

  • shamus
    shamus

    Jesika,

    My heart goes out to you, friend. I just don't have the understanding, because my life experiences are nothing like yours...

    I can only measure my outrage toward the abuser, and outrage toward those who made you feel guilty... do they know what they did, is my question... made to make you feel guilty?

    My god, what a heart-wrenching story.

    It would be good to have a database of all these stories so that we can carouse them, and see what makes each other tick... I just had no idea, Jesika.

    Please get help if you need it... counselling... I don't konw if you have had counselling, or whatever.. I know that if there is a god, he will punish those who do these horrible things. He has to.

  • MrMoe
    MrMoe
    My father had this "great idea" to stop my sister and I from bitting our nails. He announced that every Friday he would check our nails for growth, and if he saw none than he would give us 5 licks with the leather belt. Every week he saw no growth it would increase 5 more. So, it went like this--one wk 5, next wk 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 36 was my final week. By this time he was pissed off it hadn't worked. Oh, forgot to mention I was 14 at the time and this was done with our pants and underwear off or down. I was FULLY developed by this point

    honey... I can't speak, just can't. You will sort this out, you are putting it together now. I luv ya hun, and think about you often. This is a battle you will have to deal with, and jsut know that no matter what, we are all here to listen.

  • bittersweet
    bittersweet

    (((((((jess)))))))

  • Jesika
    Jesika

    I had no idea this thread was posted on again. I wrote it so long ago.

    Thank you all for your kind words.....it is nice to know that something terrible can be turned around to make something good happen.

    Like on of the posts said..........it puts things in perspective.

    I reflect on my past and it puts life in perspective for me too, and counseling helps alot to do that as well.

    (((((((((((((everyone))))))))))))))))

    Love,

    Jes

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