Please, I am so upset...I need some hugs... (page 3)

Lady Lee

((((((((Karen))))))))))

This has got to be one of the cruelest things the borg does to families. My heart goes out to you. The really sad thing about it is that it has nothing to do with God but rather self-protection.

You sounded like you handled her very well. Closing the door on your side was wise although difficult. I have done the same with my mother. We haven't spoken for 3 years now and she has moved and not passed her new address to me.. Not staying tied into the begging and pleading for contact is a healthy step in an inpossible situation. I know it won't help now but it does get easier with time.

To Karen and her husband.

This is like a death in the family. There is no other description for this that explains the devastation and loss except death - emotional death. There really aren't enough words to describe how this affects someone but it will take time to grieve the loss and learn to move on. The emptiness stays for always I think - not as strong but the memories are all in the past with no future plans - a death.

Karen take special care of yourself over the next few days and weeks. Heal your heart - as best you can and find the joy in what you have - even in the memories when you are ready

Lee - one who has been there and still hurts sometimes

Mister 8iggs

Dag, Karen. I don't think there are any words I can offer that will make you feel better. {{{{{{Karen}}}}}}

myself

(((((((((Karen)))))))))

I am so very sorry you are going thru this. I was once naive enough to do the same thing to 2 of my brothers. I am inactive not da'd or df'd but my mother and a 3rd brother see me as if I am. My mother even laid things on the line with my daughter without someone their to intervene. My daughter is only 16, was never baptized and has known for at least a year or so that she does not want to be a jw. My daughter was absolutely crushed by the way her own grandmother treated her. My daughter is her namesake. Karen, sometimes I think that emotional abuse is harder to take then physical abuse, because the physical pain eventually goes away, butt the emotional abuse is harder to understand and deal with. My heart goes out to you.

morrisamb

Dear Karen

My family went through this. My mother and I did what your mother did in the late 70's early 80's to my siblings! Then when I woke up from this self-righteous stance, I called them. It took a lot of time to heal the wounds. But the "truth" is what made this situation better. I mean the truth was that I would have jumped in a swamp with aligators if the Witnesses told me to! My siblings realized it wasn't as much I was a jerk as I was a stepford wife [meant figuratively], acting out behaviour I thought was passed on from God. When they realized how dead I was inside all those years without them, they didn't blame me. It wasn't like I was 'goody to shoes', happily carrying out ministerial duties. I was a walking zombie, crying invisable tears.

When I woke up from this particular nightmare, this is the only reason I left the Witnesses. I didn't want to go somewhere where they weren't going. Witnesses love to throw us all in one barrel. We are as individual as our unique stories. They say I left so I could, fill in the blank________ : worship the devil; fornicate;, blah, blah, blah. Bulloney! I left because this teaching of disowning flesh and blood sucks the big one. It's inhumane.

My heart goes out to you. My siblings built a life of their own, making new friends, creating their own families. When I woke up, I was the one that was alone (even more isolated than I was a Witness). I had to start over. They had a head start. They realize now they were lucky to get cast out early. They were free. Free to experience life, make trial and error choices; yes, free, free at last.

DannyBear

Karen's Husband,

My lady T was never involved in any religion, except for a brief period in her teen's...attending Christian camp with other teenage friends. So she had no sense of the wierdness of this cult, known as Jehovah's Witnesses. Even after 20 years together, many, many conversations about the religion, she cannot even fathom some of the experiences I relate.

I hope you can understand Karen's deep depression about this. She needs you more than ever, right now.

T. lost her mother to cancer about 3yrs ago, her mother was her best friend like Karen's mom to her. Even to this day T will break down and cry, just hearing a note or two of her mothers favorite kind of music. Not to mention any activity they once shared so closely.

My point is simple, very few daughter's enjoy the kind of relationship Karen and T had with thier mother's. Sometimes us guys just don't get it.

I loved her mom just as if she were my own, so it was easier for me to relate. I hope you don't mind me speaking directly to you...but just felt compeled to offer the above.

The best to you and Karen.

Danny

minimus

Hi Karen, I can almost relate to you. I feel terrible for what you and others have gone through. I have been regularly preparing my mother for all the things that the organization does,especially with families. My mother, too, has been in since the mid 50's. She is considered a pillar. However, I have been regularly pointing out the wrongness and hypocrisy of the organization. It hasn't always seemed to penetrate, but in many ways she has surprised me with her most recent observations. I have told her of my unconditional love for her. I have reiterated how I must love and honor my mother. I have used the scriptures to show how we must follow Christ's example and if ever anyone or any group differs with the Son of God,we must follow Jesus' words.Today i asked her if she would ever give up her ties to me, even if I didn't believe what the organization teaches. She said she would never stop dealing with her son, even if the Society said otherwise. This is to me a major breakthrough! Sometimes I've backed off from giving her too many negatives, since I don't want to overload her. But I love my mother and will always try to help her. Fortunately, she can see chinks in the armor.....God bless you in your sadness.

kevin221

Karen,

My heart goes out to you. I know it doesn't help much, but please know that there are people out there tonight who are thinking of you and wishing you well. I know from personal experience how JW parents can treat their children that don't follow their faith. My life partner passed away last October from leukemia, and his father knew he was very ill because I was there when Jon called him and told him. His father just hung up on him, and never once called or visited while Jon was ill. After Jon died he was more than willing to try and get a share of his "son's" estate, and I put the word sons in quotations because I find it sickening that he wouldn't speak to Jon for years, even when he knew he was dying, but he didn't have a problem with trying to get his greedy hands on his belongings. That though is another story, which need not be gone into. Not ever being a JW myself I can't fathom the logic they have regarding shunning, but I can't think of anything more cruel and heartless. And this is coming from a group that claims to be Gods only true Org. Strange. If nothing else, the shunning issue alone made me certain that I would never fall into their cult trap.

Please take care and know I wish you well,

Kevin

sOOner

My dear sister Karen/Sentinel,

Many hugs and more...and here are some tissues for you...soft and warm to wipe the tears away...

TY for your post and yes it is turning into a long night.mama said this was discussed in detail at the last two Tuesday night meeting.She also said that she was a very bad girl and had been disobedient.Does that not sound so childish? I mean we are speaking of a mother,our mother who gave birth to 3 daughters and has yet again cut us out of her life.I have not said Goodbye,but I have said Goodnight.It is finito for me.Just as we don't exist ,she no longer exists.

they have SPOKEN and she has OBEYED

She told Polly that I took it rather badly.I was a bit abrupt,and I did speak my mind.She will not have that control again,not ever.

Breathe in,breathe out

and "BE"

yourself...

scream and shout

laugh and cry

OUR emotions are ours...

Live your moments

sOoner/Sis>C

Prisca

(((((((((Karen and sOoner))))))))))

My thoughts are with you. May God grant you serenity and peace.

recoveringexjw

you r not alone my sis treats me like im dead

Please, I am so upset...I need some hugs...

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