Please, I am so upset...I need some hugs...

by Sentinel 68 Replies latest jw experiences

  • SweatPea

    ((((((((((Karen)))))))))) I feel your pain. I sat here and cried as I read your post. It was like reading my own with the exception that I won't get a phone call. I'm like you, I know it is coming. My mother is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's, so she has no idea what is going on. She has been a firm JW for more than fifty years. It's my sister, three brothers [one is a elder], nieces and nephews that will cut me off. I have not called any of them lately as I don't want to hear them tell me about the "new light" and that they have to cut ties with me. I don't live in the same state as them so it'll happen when I visit unannounced. Who knows, they probably won't answer their door.

    Your story made face the reality of what is going to happen. Now I'm crying. Things had been so good the last few years with my family. Now I get crushed again!!!

    I have been putting off calling my niece in Florida. She wants to have a family reunion and I can't bear telling her that it would be best that I didn't come. Too many of the family are JWs and they will not come if I'm there. I don't want to spoil it for her.

    People, like your husband, that have not lived a JW life, do not understand. They can't comprehend family treating other family members this way.

    You hang in there! The people on this board will get you thru this. My heart goes out to you as I know what it is feeling.


    Edited by - sweatpea on 31 August 2002 11:34:43

  • AwakenedAndFree

    Dear Karen,

    My heart ached as I dolorously read your story. I'am so sorry for what happened to you. This orgazination controls the thinking minds of it's members. Always remember that your mom loves you dearly. It's a very difficult situation you are in.

    Please accept my warm hugs.


  • morrisamb

    Sooner & Sentinel

    Do we ever have a lot in common! I think Sooner is right. Your mother loves you more than words can say. But when you are put in the position that seeing a disf. / or disass. relative would be serving the Devil and disobeying God, it's a tough call. I've been out 16 years and I still think it's a tough call. The Witnesses also make it look like you are helping the sinner sin and they might change their ways if you don't speak to them. Sort like a spanking for your own good.

    To hate individual Witnesses for following these rules is to hate myself because I bought it hook, line and sinker having been raised a Witness. I refuse to hate. Hurt yes, work for reform, yes. Hate, no -it accomplishes nothing.

    I know it's difficult but I pity the people who follow these rules. You think they're happy with this? I think not. My mother ached inside for her kids but until I convinced her otherwise, it was austolavista baby. My siblings have forgiven her. They hate the act, not the person.

  • Lin

    Hi Karen,

    I know exactly how you feel. I've been out of the Org since '93 and haven't had a relationship with my family ever since. I have five brothers and both parents, and the ONLY one I have any contact with is my brother (also df'd), but he lives in Barcelona, Spain. I have no idea what is going on in the family, unless on occasion I hear some tid-bit from my neice. Out of everyone I've lost because of the Org, losing my mother has been the hardest. I'm her only daughter, and we have no contact. It is very hard, wretchingly painful, to be thrown away because of the Org. I wonder if I'll even get a call when one of my parents dies; they are now in their 70's.

    I, too, feel like I'm sitting on the bleachers watching.....and waiting.....for the Org to be brought down to it's knees. How it happens, I really don't care. I just want to watch it happen, and see what happens next. I hope they fall hard.

    Hugs for you girl,



  • SloBoy


    SloBoy's spouse here to give my 2 cents.

    SloBoy disassociated self. I didn't do the same. Trying the fade-away. 6 months of inactivity as of Sept. '02 after 34 yrs as pub.5 previous to that attending and being taken along to learn how to publish. Anyway, I digress.

    This spring a witness I cherish very much called from another area and asked if I would stand up for her at her wedding, as "no one else will do". I felt special and validated, (shoulda ducked, sucked in one final time!) The wedding was planned for the end of May. There was an emergency, the wedding was postponed. Some waiting to see how things would turn out, no word, I sent a card expressing concern and contributing monetarily to help in the emergency. My check was cashed. No word still. Two weeks ago I found out the Wedding is history, it happened, I was not notified. Worse yet? My cherished friend has moved back to our area (15 minutes from me), is working 2 blocks from my office, was in the lobby of my work place on Thursday. . . and has not called, written, or come to see me.

    The sad thing is I was fully prepared to say, "Listen Sweetie, in view of "SloBoy's " being DA'd I am going to beg off as Maid O' Honor, it would just make things uncomfortable for everyone". I wasn't allowed the courtesy.

    So gossip must travel fast and it must be pretty scathing in regards to SloBoy and I. Less than 115 days ago we took the young couple to dinner to celebrate their engagement, having traveled hundreds of miles, bearing beautiful engagement gifts.

    I am so angry, hurt and sad, need a good cry, keep swearing and ultimately come back to all the facts I know: They are dysfunctional, hateful, judgemental, have a 100% vested interest in compliance with shunning. In addition to that I remind myself. "What did I expect? I have been to one meeting since the Memorial, I am in College, I am outspoken against child molest and attend recovery group meetings." Not exactly publisher of the month material.

    Bottom Line for me? I can't change back. It would kill me.

    I feel for you. Sending love and concern. You are not alone.

    Love SloBoy's Spouse

  • D wiltshire
    D wiltshire


    I have only read your starting thread and I want to say hang in there. My family(in the Borg) too refuses to have any thing to do with me. The WT has made them turn on me, and I am full of hate for the WT. I am trying to keep myself together over this, and when I read your 1st post I knew right away how strong those feeling can be and what a struggle it is just to function.

    So I say you are one tough cookie. Anybody in your shoes deserves a lot of credit.

    I hope and I pray those lawmakers for the Jehovah's Witnesss get a good taste of there own medicine. They have caused tremendeous harm to good good people and deserve every once of retribution they get.

    Faithful and Discrete Slave my ass! the nerve of those hypocrites. They teach hate with a loving smile on there lips.They have torn apart so many families that I want to throw up! They have hurts so many innocent people just to stay in power.

    I hope Sentenal, you get your mother back!

  • mamashel


    My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry to see you in so much pain. When I first came into the organization, I was brand new to everything and my hubby was disfellowshipped from a while back. I should have known at that time something was wrong with people who would not talk to someone who was trying to get their life together spirityally. My prayers are with you and your family. Stay strong and make your request known to God. He does answer prayer Karen and His word says he heals the broken hearted. Throw all your cares upon him, because He cares for you. I hope things turn out well for you.


  • Tinkerbell4125

    I'm so sorry that you're having a hard time right now. Believe me, when I tell you I understand. It's been three years since I lost my mom and I miss her everyday. CC, my hubby told me about your post, so I had to post and tell ya to hang in there. You can click on my bio and read alittle about my situation that I had with my mother. We had a rough time, at times, but no matter what the situation, I always loved her and wished that she could see things differently. She was a devote j.w. till her death and never once wavered on her beliefs. I've worked past all the anger and only think of the happy times that we shared together.

    Hang in there my friend!

  • Farkel


    : The whole things is so unnatural. I mean, arent' they fulfilling the prophesy where it says that in the last days there will be no natural affection? They are the ones making this happen.

    This is another scripture they've twisted. Jesus was talking about "bad" people losing their natural affection, not so-called "good" people having their natural affection literally driven out of them and then ENFORCED to stay that way by rules made by people who claim to be Christ's sole agent on earth.

    So, in effect they are literally trying to FORCE their version of a fulfillment of a prophecy, rather than just letting the prophecy play out by itself.

    And yes, it is very unnatural. Vile and evil things ARE unnatural.


  • Tinkerbell4125

    D.willshire said......Faithful and Discrete Slave my ass...the nerve of those hypocrites. They teach hate with a loving smile on their face.

    So well put Dave.

    Tink =;o)

Share this