My Issue: How To Step Down As A MS Without Getting Noticed (page 5)

never a jw

How about being an irresponsible MS. Missing meetings where you have a part? or low participation in FS?, or do talks without the ideal attire? do talks without good preparation, without notes?

UPDATE: I have now starting receiving friendly "encouragement" to get out in the service more often. One brother even letting me know that they "review those kind of things when the CO comes around". Have the bad feeling some will start asking too many questions.

Oubliette

Well obviously they'll notice, so you're not being clear in your thinking in this regard.

As counter-intuitive as it may seem, the absolute best strategy is to simply inform the elders you will no longer be able to carry out your responsibilities and other assignments as a ministerial servant effective immediately. (If you want to be nice, you might give them a couple of weeks, but that's just like ripping the band-aid off slowly).

When they ask why, respond politely, "I have personal reasons. I trust you'll respect my privacy in this regard. Thanks!"

If, or more likely when, they press you on your reasons, say, "Look, I already explained that to you. I'm kind of frustrated you're not respecting me and the explanation I've given you." It's ok to show a little irritation at this point.

If they try and play games and fish with a question like, "Have you committed a sin, Brother?" respond with a terse, "Now you're really being offensive," and walk away shaking your head. Refuse to engage.

That's it. You're done.

No other strategy works as well.

Axelspeed

Not sure how long you are in the process of trying to step down, but here's my exp:

I was constantly being used, sometimes multiple parts in one night. I was also the school overseer and a bs (in every sense) conductor. I asked politely to resign, even temporarily, but was continually rebuffed, and "encouraged" to keep going. I went on for about another year, and then changed congregations with the real purpose of never serving again.

When the time came for re-appointment by the elders at the new hall, I meant to say "no", but when I opened my mouth "yes" came out. I guess because I was so used to saying yes to every assignment. The minute we left that back room I was kicking myself knowing I had defeated my whole purpose. I shortly thereafter -maybe 2 meetings later - resigned for good, stating personal reasons and needing a break. It was much easier at the new hall as there was much less of an emotional attachment to people I barely knew, and they for me. It was a little awkward (but only a little) and made my fade much much easier.

Ding

I don't think there is a way to do it and not get noticed except to move out of the area.

After all, they all view you as an elder-in-training.

JW_Rogue

Yeah, can't really make something up as an excuse because everyone knows me and my circumstances. I guess it's either move or wait it out and endure the encouragement.

Indian Larry

I did it with no long term problems at all. Been out for several years with all my family still in. No one shuns me, not even those in the hall.

First of all you need GAD - Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Then mild depression. That will not be a problem given what you are now learning about everything you have believed your whole life.

Just tell the elders that you would like to step down as a servant for personal reasons. Do not blame the (UN mess, Pedophiles, 1914, false prophecy, the blood issue, Malawi or anything else) Just say it is personal and you are not comfortable right now in large groups of people. If you do it with respect and don't attack them they will be much less likely to attack you in defense.

Don't try to aggressively "convert" your friends or family, that is the way to disaster. Be very very careful of your "online" tracks and history. Instead periodically just raise valid questions that help them think outside of the box. When you make a valid point and they admit it, don't go for the throat. Step back. That way the next time you make a valid point they won't be afraid to admit it again. Eventually they will realize that they don't have the answers and they will not blame you since your questions are sincere and valid. Do not attack! That will get their back up faster than anything else. Also it does not hurt to go to the memorial at least and maybe one or two other meetings per year. That allows them to have "hope" for you. Don't start celebrating holidays etc unless that is more important to you than your family.

That is what worked for me. It worked well. I am not shunned by anyone, if I go to a anniversary party or other "get together" with members of the org everyone is friendly and I have no problems at all. No one expects me to be at Circuit Assemblies or District Assemblies. Last year and the year before I did go on Sunday just to be nice and it was not a big deal. I just slept all afternoon in the AC. : )

Anyway, what I am telling you is that it can be done.

Let me be clear, there are others who will not agree with this method. I am not suggesting that this is the only way or even that this is what you should do. I am simply saying that this worked for me, and if I had it to do again I would do exactly the same thing.

runForever

From what I've seen is make it about money. They can't argue with "taking care of your own" first. Everytime I have seen elders try to get on someone for working or making money they eventually give up because you can't argue with $$$.

James Mixon

Tell them you had a talk with Jesus last night. He was sitting across from me in my living room

and he told me, you need to do more. He said I should reach out and tell others of

my conversation with him, and he told me the Big one is coming soon.

JW_Rogue

Update: I have now received some "counsel and encouragement" to try to be out in service more and especially on Saturday morning. It was implied that the CO may make a move next time he comes, so I should try to improve before then. The local needs was about taking full advantage of avenues of service. My wife is aware of all of this and seems concerned that I don't seem to care much about keeping my privileges. Mostly she thinks it will make me look bad in the eyes of the congregation, that people will start rumors (which is probably true).

My Issue: How To Step Down As A MS Without Getting Noticed

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