Mulan,
{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}
Your mom will always be your mom and she will always love you, no matter what happens due to her age.
Love for you and your mom,
Mike.
Mulan could use some cyber hugs...
by Princess 69 Replies latest jw friends
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Bendrr
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DakotaRed
(((((Mulan))))))
Sounds like you need lots of hugs. Good thing you got a reasonable Social Worker, some here in Washington can be real stinkers. It's painful to go through, but remember, if she is mentally disturbed, it isn't really her as it is her distorted mind. That doesn't make it any easier, I know, but maybe it can put it in perspective. I just pray that I keep my faculties as I get older. You and Princess both are doing all you can do, just hang in there. Things do get better
Lew W.
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Nikita
((((((((Mulan))))))))
Hang in there!
Nikita
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Princess
WOW! I posted this and did a few things around the house and came back to check. You guys are great. What a support group!
Thanks! I left my mom feeling better but still really awful. I'm sure a relationship like theirs must make you just feel empty and sad. I'm so glad my mom is not like her mom!
I went down to relay a message to my grandma and to find out what the hell her problem was and I found her sitting on her bed with the New World Translation on her lap watching a dub video. I'm sure she was feeling like a martyr.
Hang in there mom, it will get better.
((((((MOM)))))) and
Rachel
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Sabine
Mak and I just got home and read this thread...we are so sorry (((Mulan)))! I have the highest respect and admiration for you for even trying to make this work. As you know, my mother is also very mentally ill (all my life) and after her reaction to our daughter's death, that was the last straw. I know how painful it is to have to emotionally and physically disconnect from your own mother.
We got some yummy goodies for tomorrow night, Mak and I are so looking forward to having you over. You and Dave are such loving, kind people...till then big hugs from both of us.
Sabine
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Scully
{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mulan}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Sorry to hear you're going through this. I seriously dread the day when I'm in a position to yours. And I know that day will come eventually, despite my aging parents' insistence that Armageddon is "just around the corner".
Just as an aside, it sounds like your mom is displaying behaviour that is characteristic of bipolar disorder. The mood swings, the sudden belligerence, the manipulative nature of her conversation with the Social Worker, the idea that she can "do it" regardless of what the reality of the situation is (denial) in terms of finances or supportive care required to maintain her quality of life. If she hasn't been evaluated for bipolar disorder already, perhaps it's time to do that. Behaviour like this typically runs in cycles, and from what you've described, it sounds like you've gone through this sort of thing with your mom more than a few times. She'll need to be medicated to get her back to normal.
Then again, there could be a whole host of other things going on that could cause a sudden change in behaviour (her friend's influence aside) - electrolyte imbalances, untreated diabetes, or maybe even "mini-strokes" (called Transient Ischemic Attacks).
Maybe as a condition of her moving out on her own, you should insist that she be seen by a doctor for a check up. Say it's so you'll feel better about her decision and won't worry so much about her health and well-being. Once she's in the doctor's office, bring him/her up to speed on your mom's sudden change in behaviour and ask that they rule out the things I mentioned (among others).
Whoever her "friend" is (a JW?? I'm not clear on that) they need to stop meddling ASAP. The restraining order is an excellent idea, but really, unless your mom also complies with it, it will be difficult to enforce.
Wish I could be there to give you a real hug. I'm sure you could use one right now.
Love, Scully
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Jewel
Hugs to you Mulan!!
Sounds like such a difficult situation...and like you've tried to take good care of her. In some ways what you wrote reminds me of my Mom. Things will be going along relatively smoothly and then something happens to completely upset the apple cart. I've suspected some type of bipolar disorder for a long time but she would never consider such a thing.
I'm thinking of you...
Jewel
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LB
Rachel I'm certainly your mom leans on you a lot. It's good to feel needed. It's good you are there for her too.
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Mulan
Hmm. Bipolar never occurred to me. I always think of Patty Duke, knocking down the Christmas Tree, in a rage. Mom is always calm, just irrational and refuses to talk or answer questions, and says the same things over and over, when she does talk. She insists on being vindicated and for people to apologize to her. Sometimes she starts singing "Jehovah God is my Shepherd". I just want to puke.
Dad took dinner down to her, and she picked at it. He brought it back to me, very disgusted with her. She told the policewoman that she wants out of here because he is making romantic moves on her. Good grief, he has a catheter. What is he going to do? He admitted he hugged her last night, when he said good night. He had been very direct with her all day, yesterday, trying to talk some sense into her, and she had settled down a bit, and he was grateful. She hugs him all the time. I guess it doesn't work both ways.
Mak and Sabine: We are definitely coming tomorrow, and are looking forward to having a peaceful evening for once this week. I am making coconut cake, if I can get to it. (I will.........just playing out the drama)
Edited by - mulan on 29 June 2002 21:27:55
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Prisca
(((((((((((((((((Mulan))))))))))))))
So sorry you are going through all this.
((((((((((((((Princess)))))))))))))
You're a wonderful daughter. And you're lucky to have a beautiful mum. Take care of each other.